#aliens rambles

[justanotherali3nn]

I have some more dead plate fanart I made the other day, but it’s on my iPad, and I’m at work.. so I can’t post it yet :(( so new pose soon!

[alienslikedmyfantasy]

AJR Lyrics That Hit Me SUPER Hard

All of them

[alienslikedmyfantasy]

I'm Just Thinkin' You Don't Have To Read This

Okay, so I watched the newest episode of The Owl House today (S2E5) and I squealed then cried a lil bit.

I don't think I've ever connected more to a show, especially it's characters.

(I'm just gonna rant about the episode [spoiler alert] and how I connect to it...mental health and me discussed, feel free to ignore)

This is one of the shows that helped me realize I wasn't straight (see also Good Omens, Legend of Korra, and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power).

It's also helped me understand myself better.

So a lot of people headcanon Luz as having ADHD (and it is now apparently canon, thank you Dana Terrace <3 ).

I immediately connected with Luz, like, it was insane.

Luz: *Breathes* Me: SAMEEEEE

Now, I have been struggling to sort out my mental health for a long time. We have suspected depression for a long time, I gained more anxiety when I got older (Covid hasn't helped with either of these), and now it's highly possible that ADHD is in the mix as well (I have done extensive research, just realizing more recently).

I've suspected ADHD for almost 2 years now (I believe...what even is time??). I read about symptoms and they made sense, and as I learn more and more, I realize 'yikes I need tested'. Being a girl makes it harder because of stereotypes etc.

Luz helped me realize more and for that I am forever grateful.

This whole show has just opened my eyes and unlocked a lot in me.

It's just so wholesome! And I love me that

Wholesome stuff.

Okay back to the beginning and original point of this post.

So in the episode I watched today, I noticed how Luz reacted when she left the library with Amity. It caught me off guard. The tears, the shaky breathe, the stiff posture. I do the same thing! I get stiff and put on a front (Luz looks like she tries to smile through the hurt) to hide my emotions too.

I did look up posts after I watched it cause I loved it and wanted to see what others thought, there was one post that mentioned Luz's ADHD and how RSD went to town. It made me rewatch parts of the episode.

Before I read it, I was like 'that's how I'd react too Luz, it'll be okay sweetheart <3'

On the other hand, after I read it, I saw so much more.

Her reaction outside the library, my heart, I know exactly what's going on in her head and just how she feels.

She believes that she's failed and hurt her friend who just said something that was misconstrued (if I didn't know how Amity felt, I would've heard the exact same thing Luz did).

THEN she does everything she possibly can to fix her mistake, to help her friend, even if she doesn't want to be friends with Luz anymore.

Later, she shows up and does the whole "I'm sorry and if you never want to talk to me again I understand" with her eyes closed and shoulders hunched (which feels like bracing for pain [I've done that to]), talking fast until she pauses and notices Amity's hair. (I do this ALL THE TIME, hunched/clenched or at least eyes closed and speedily apologizing [which I get back 'why are you apologizing?'])

She is so worried of what others think of her (same), even (especially) when there's a misunderstanding (RSD is a pain).

I tend to mishear, misread, and misinterpret things a lot which leads me to react wrongly or poorly or too much to the situation. 'Overdramatic' is a word often used. It's really hard. I've gotten to the point where I reread all my messages a few times over to make sure I understand (scared of messing up) and I still misread to be honest haha I have to ask people to repeat things sometimes too.

Okay. Just was thinking about it a lot since I watched/read the post.

I'm hopefully going to the doctors soon and getting a reference ^_^

Okay, I'm done now haha

~Alienslikedmyfantasy

[alienslikedmyfantasy]

Awe man I am so friggen hungry!

I’m fasting so I can get bloodwork done and oh my goodness it’s been 12 hours now

Time to get stabbed :’D

Edit: PLUS I have to walk through the kitchen to get outta here :(

[alienslikedmyfantasy]

So being a gigantic musical nerd, there is nothing better than my living room.

The ceiling is really high so there’s great acoustics and I have way too much fun singing when nobody’s home.

I mean, I was up there singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow (I was Dorothy in my last Musical) and almost cried.

I forget how much musicals mean to me and how much I miss doing them.

It was a home away from home for 13 years.

(plus the couple I helped with after I graduated)

Anyways, with everyone having to be home all the time, this is the first time I’ve sung in there loudly in probably a year or more (what even is time?)

Like no, my voice may not be what it used to, but it was still fun and it helped me come up with a new idea.

Not that I don’t love my family being home, but I do love being able to belt (kinda) alone in that echoey room.

I miss goofing around with my friends at rehearsals. Creating inside jokes and making memories. I even miss getting in trouble for being to loud haha

The people I met through the Musical are some of the best people I’ve ever known.

And the people I convinced to join are some of the best friends I’ve ever had.

It was definitely some of the most fun I’ve ever had in my life.

Alright, I’ll get my sappy self outta here and try to, well, write something or something.

Take care!

[alienslikedmyfantasy]

Me: I am going to start writing more on my stories! *Is confident and ready to gooooo*

Me 10 seconds later: *Looking at tattoo ideas and zoning out*

Me: Son of a–