This is why
I want to keep writing. Writing always seemed to be such a huge comfort to me growing up; stories, poems, lyrics, anything that came out of my mind and on to paper.
Writing was a huge comfort to me because I was quite an emotional kid. I felt everything so extremely deeply- which is something I love about myself, but also sort of hate. I was full of emotion, but struggled to speak to anyone about anything at all- especially the immense, paralysing feelings inside of me. I was surrounded by a wonderfully large and beautiful family, but not a single person I felt I could open up to. I truly learnt the difference between being alone, and being lonely.
I only realised recently that I stopped writing on a regular basis when I was seventeen and had stumbled across the other half of me; my boyfriend, Wesley. And, as cliché as it sounds I believe I stopped writing at that moment because, for the first time in my life, I was wholly and selfishly happy. I could actually be me- not that I had any idea who ‘me’ was. I found myself blurting words at him without worrying about who might hear, or judge, or ignore me. It was utterly breathtaking. Thankfully, at twenty-two years of age, I can say that I am still with Wes, and am still blurting words at him. We have also just began our brand new, exciting adventure in Cheltenham. Being 2 hours away from my family - another reason to get back into writing.
Don’t get me wrong, those immense, paralysing emotions are still lurking around the depths of my brain and I know that no man is going to make them fade away, so I figure they’re better transformed into words on paper or screen, rather than floating around my conscience awaiting a crack in the surface to seep through.
So, this is why.
This is Elle.
