listen i swear i'm not the kinda person that celebrates christmas when its february or something but. christmas scenarios with the whole squad??
[ valorant headcannons II ]
✎↷: you didn’t need to clarify that first part.. i looped ‘baby it’s cold outside’ yesterday afternoon ahxjdhjz. i got you, friend, have some late-christmas cheer!
christmas is a huge event. friends, couples, families, and strangers alike share the holiday around the world, and the valorant protocol was not excluded from this tradition. with so many young agents and an old man watching over them on a daily basis, it only made sense to...
...dress brimstone up like santa claus. the idea appeared when phoenix was talking about how he had pictures of himself sitting on santa’s lap when he was a baby at protocol dinner, and the other members of the ‘hell trio’ went along with it. after the meal, jett, raze, and phoenix came up to brimstone, begging for the man to dress up as santa that year.
he owned a hat and a suit. it was his christmas present once when omen first joined protocol and severely misunderstood what the tradition meant, and had caused killjoy to have a borderline suffocation from her laughter. on christmas day when brimstone walked into the living room in thick black boots and bright red cloth, the younger members were ecstatic and practically clung to the man all evening in one form or another.
every year their christmas meal is different. the different parts of the meal are always split up, like skye and breach on dessert or reyna and sage on the main course. there’s a lot of love packed into these meals, but also competition. to make the better dish or the weirdest dish is a conflict that the more chaotic members have, but brimstone warned them to make edible food for the rest of the protocol.
killjoy and raze are banned from the kitchen. if their boombot eats were anything to go with, it’s that no matter how hard or what they try, it’ll be exceedingly dangerous. instead, they get to work on decorating the protocol! they used to get real pine trees until the brazilian woman thought it would be freakin’ awesome to make ornaments with her grenades.
they never got to have a real tree again after that.
brimstone has always tried to make sure everyone was at christmas dinner. no running off, no training, nothing but a normal evening where they could be the most comfortable. it was important to psychologically maintain a sense of normalcy, which meant that presents were bought. a lot.
sova and omen are the best present givers. they’re able to observe the small details and catch the little things, buying the desired gifts for their colleagues when the time comes around. most of sova’s gifts had a cheesily heartfelt message included in it to each of the agents and never failed to melt hearts, while omen did what he could to make homemade presents. like knitting.
and yes, omen did make all of the crew sweaters. they weren’t christmas ones, but neutral and customized colors that were made for the given agent. sova cried when omen gave him his present, ever the most-genuine one, and had embraced the man tightly. the picture of the affectionate gesture was saved in brimstone’s office, treasured on one of his walls.
mistletoes weren’t a common occurrence. yes, there was one always hung, and there was also a robotic mistletoe that would shoot anyone who didn’t kiss underneath it. killjoy reassured sage and skye that it was only a light zap and that they shouldn’t worry about it that much! after all, it was just a taser. viper was the unfortunate soul who had walked underneath the mistletoe, and yoru walking by in passing resulted in both of them getting zapped.
“you should run!” but real life.
there’s more drinking than there is food. some stay sober to witness the blackmail festival and clean up while the drunkards ‘get drunk’, and it’s overall a great time for both parties. reyna held a drinking contest with raze, and though it wasn’t clear on who won, the two of them made ‘close acquaintances’ that night. cypher saved the whole thing onto his cameras and phoenix begged him for the content as well because that, my friends, was totally going in the highlight reel.
even the healers don’t stay out of drinking. sage is considerably a light weight and usually hangs onto a glass of wine the whole night, but skye? oh, skye will go on and on. her drinking tolerance is among the best with breach by her side, and the two of them could casually share a few heavy drinks without a break. alcohol has never phased either of them, and brimstone had tried to join them once. notice: tried. once.
but everyone has fun! if a pair or two sneak away to continue their christmas festivities elsewhere, it’s likely that the entirety of protocol would be too drunk to notice until the majority of people trickled away. cypher and jett are somehow the ones who are last. jett, on the verge of blacking out, is sluggish and slow as ever. the moroccan man teases for it, but he doesn’t mind bringing her safely back to her room and giving her the according medicine for her hangover the next morning.
