Alone Together
photo ctto
genre: roommates au. fluff, suggestive! slice of life.
synopsis: How the months went by quarantining with your stranger roommate, Lee Haechan.
warnings: profanities and one part is quite suggestive. this isn't proofread, btw!
word count: 7.7k
a/n: Happy Haechan day! It’s a little late, but my Wi-Fi just wouldn’t cooperate. This has been in my drafts for the longest of time @.@
Some would find it strange to live with a boy you hardly even know but it’s not like all roommates know each other before moving in. However, most would usually try to get to know each other as time passed. You and Haechan were different. Other than living completely separate lives and taking different courses, you just never found the time to sit down and have a chat after the time you guys greeted each other the first time you moved in. Your roommate would get home in the afternoon and leave in the evening to work in the computer labs, while your business major self got up nice and early to attend 9am classes and get home in the afternoon.
The only exchange of words you have with him is if you’d ordered something and it came while you were away, or when your busy schedules align and you meet in the kitchen to have a meal and get the chance for a quick talk. The house felt spacious with all the spaces you both left unoccupied.
March
When the news that you’d be going under lockdown, you expected Haechan to pack up and leave to go to his family, but remembered that he’s a foreign student from Korea and home would be too far away to go back to. Maybe he’d quarantine with his friends. As for yourself, it was the same. He looked surprised seeing you after the announcement, not carrying any luggage or looking like you had any plans on leaving.
“You’re not leaving?” he pushes his hair out of the way and adjusts his black hoodie. You get a glimpse of your roommate’s face and you admit, he wasn’t bad looking. Definitely attractive, you knew him to be one of the well-known kids in school.
“You sound disappointed,” you tease him, a small smile on your lips.
He catches on and scoffs, “Just a little… Kidding,”
It was only March and it’s to be the last long stretch before the end of the semester in May. You were guessing the rest of the semester would be done online instead, which doesn’t seem to be a problem for your techy roommate. From the sounds of his keyboard and the video game music you hear from his room in the mornings before leaving for school, you don’t think he’ll have any trouble adjusting. Not to mention his course which happens to be Computer Engineering.
You sit on the kitchen stool and he walks around the counter to get water. You’re on your phone when he pushes a glass across the counter you were leaning on. You mumble a thanks and take a drink.
“Home too far away?” he folds his arms and leans against the counter opposite to you in the kitchen. You nod curtly. “And you?” you pass the question back when you don’t feel like explaining it to him.
“Korea a little too far to go home to as well,”
Silence followed after and you sit there hating every second of it. Weren’t you guys just joking around a moment ago? You weren’t usually nervous around people, but Haechan had a certain vibe to him that just diminishes your confidence and gets you flustered.
The regret was setting in of not exerting the effort to get to know Haechan before which has now led to awkward silences like this one. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to, but more or less because you knew that if you weren’t roommates then Haechan wouldn’t bat an eye at you. At university, it was as if the spotlight followed him around. You were more of a shadow person. Being away from the spotlight as much as possible is your goal.
“We should get used to each other then,” you force a smile, not really knowing what to expect from him. He returns the smile, his cheeks rising and making him look a little too cute for your comfort. Oh God.
“Y/N? You have a package,” Haechan’s voice rings through the hallway and into your room. You quickly get up from where you sat on your bed and follow his voice through. He pulls the big box in and scratches his head at the size. You seize his curiosity when you pat on it. “Want to help me set up my new chair?”
You did in fact buy a chair to give you better comfort in studying in your room. It was one of those reclining gaming chairs and you got one in the color pink. It’s weight was heavier than expected which got you both groaning as you pushed it into your room. You realize it’s the first time he’s been inside. Haechan’s grounds have always just been his room, bathroom, the living room and the kitchen. Basically everywhere else but your bedroom. He takes a quick look around as he tries to catch his breath.
“You bought a chair, or a ton of bricks?”
You both laugh, out of air and already sweating.
“No, no. This goes down here,” Haechan points at foundation of the chair. You were just feeling your way through it, completely oblivious to the manual that sat on his lap. Haechan had attached the wheels onto it and was taking a moment to figure out the next step.
“Like this?” you rotate the piece you have in hand, not knowing what its purpose is. He shakes his head and gets up to go behind you to position your hand correctly. The sudden skinship takes you by surprise but you try not to be obvious about it. He has his chest against your back and you can feel his hoodie by your ear. Warmth rushes to your face and ears as you try to concentrate on the task at hand. Whatever you had in your hand finally clicked together with where it’s supposed to go and Haechan pulls away.
“Then we just get this on here and I think you’re good to go,” he lifts the backrest from the box and you nod, pushing the hair out of your face too cool you down and slow the rapid beating of your heart.
April
The house has been silent all day, but it wasn’t new since you and Haechan have practically gone back into your own caves as the term started. The interactions have increased between the two of you but at the end of the day you still felt like strangers.
When your professor finally calls the class meeting off, you groan and slump against the chair you built with him. It made for dramatic sighs of exhaustion after class and made the 8 hours you sit in front of a computer screen more tolerable. Your train of thought is interrupted when your computer screen blacks out and the rest of your room goes dark. You can hear the room go silent as the air-conditioner shuts down. What the fuck?
It’s a known fact between your friends and family that you’re scared of the dark. You can’t stand the thought of what lurks in the darkness, and the idea of nothingness surrounding you. Your body freezes up, it also didn’t help that the sun has just about died down. Your bed is just behind you, but you decide not to take the risk and curl up into a yourself, pulling your hood over your head and trying to breathe.
Three knocks come from your door as you’re trying to calm yourself down. It heightens your anxiety even more and by this time, the darkness has completely consumed your room, leaving you to adjust your eyes to the dark. The door makes a creaking noise as whoever’s on the other side opens it, you let out an ear deafening shriek, startling the figure that appeared.
“Y/N! It’s me, it’s me!” you hear Haechan’s voice and you take a peek from your hands which you’d used as a poor choice of shield. “We lost electricity… Are you okay?” he slowly walks closer to you, afraid to startle you again but the truth is that he’s just as terrified because of how you look in a dark room curled in a ball and shrieking. His heart is beating just as fast as yours. You both scared each other.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scream, I’m just really scared of the dark,” you apologize, not moving from your position and watching him get closer.
Haechan takes a mental note of this. “Come on, let’s go,” he’s extending his hand out for you to take and you stare at it before finally placing your palm to his. “Where?”
“To the stars,”
He sniggered at how cheesy it sounded, but you’d be lying if you said your heart didn’t flutter at his choice of words.
The rooftop. He took you to the rooftop, where a blanket of stars stretched above you. They seemed so close that you could reach up and grab them. The trip up was anything but easy, though. You basically clung onto Haechan like a koala but refused to get piggy backs. His hand held yours firmly as you travelled the long flight of stairs up into the roof.
It was prohibited for anyone to be up here, but you felt that this wasn’t Haechan’s first time breaking this rule.
You finally let him go once he opens the door and you’re faced with the light from the city. One of the electric posts connected to your building’s power had apparently exploded and the generator just wasn’t doing its job. You don’t know how Haechan knew this, but you weren’t about to question it.
The city lights look like twinkling lights and the traffic for once looks pretty. The line of blinking red lights, comforting you because of the idea that there’s people out there. It was like watching different lives and being able to be a part of everything but from a distance. “Pretty,” you mutter. From behind you, Haechan nodded in agreement.
Haechan walks forward, taking a seat near the edge and patting the seat beside him.
“You’re not scared of heights too, aren’t you?” he teases.
You roll your eyes and walk to his side and take a seat. It was funny how you both could be joking with each other, then a moment later be in complete awkward silence. Something about Haechan set him apart from other men you’ve held conversations with. Not one of them gave off the same vibe he did. One that was sensitive and sincere.
You knew that Haechan listens well which makes him different to others. Others would hear what you said and probably forget you even said that the next day. Haechan wouldn’t, and you knew because you mentioned once how it bothers you when the light in the hallway isn’t turned on at night and he’d never forgotten to leave it open when he leaves at night. Or when you asked him to lower his music during exam season and the next week you found out he bought a headset as to not bother you. It was the small things that made Haechan more than just another boy. You respect that about him, which is why you watched your words.
“How long do you think this will last?” he asks and you shrug.
“Honestly, I haven’t the slightest clue. But if I were to take a wild guess, I’m assuming more than a year,”
Haechan turns his head a little, looking at you as the wind blew your hair back. The sight made his heart race. Haechan gulped, forcing himself to look away from you. He would be lying if he said he didn’t find you intriguing. The way you avoided his eyes and gave him his space only made him want to get closer to you. He wanted to know what was going on behind that mind of yours, what you were thinking of. And if it was ever about him.
Over the past few weeks, Haechan formulated a plan. Mission roommate, in which he would take all the chances given to him to get close to you. Make up for the past year he’s done nothing but chicken out from making up conversations. Originally, he had packed the day of the lockdown announcement. He was going to spend the quarantine with his buddies Jaemin and Jeno, when you walked out of your room that morning in your pyjamas. Hair a mess, sleep still in your eyes. Haechan immediately made the decision to stay. No way he would let you quarantine alone, when he could stay with you and finally get to know you more. For him, it felt like things were falling into place and this was his sign.
“A year? Do you think we’ll still be roommates by then?” He asks in line with your answer to him. It was hard to tell. A lot could happen in a year, quarantined in a single apartment with someone you barely know. Someone you’re undeniably developing a tiny crush on.
You let out a laugh unexpectedly at his question, but it felt good to be laughing. He smiles, hearing your laughter and watching you cover your mouth as a habit he noticed you do. “Depends if we don’t go crazy. I guess we're just now going to get used to each other. I wish you good luck, I can be a handful,”
Haechan scoffs and shakes his head, “I doubt it. How can you possibly be worse than me?”
The two of you continue bickering for the rest of the night, making up silly competitions before ending up lying on your backs, staring up at the night sky and stifling yawns. You didn’t want to be the first one knocked out, you didn’t even want the conversation to end. But soon enough, the silence dragged on and the stars had become blurry from all the yawns you’ve been trying to hide resulting in watery eyes.
“Do you want to go back down?” you hear his soft voice from beside you.
You lift a single eye and peep at him, seeing that he had both of his closed with his arms behind his head. The lights from the staircase still haven’t come on yet, so you shook your head. “No way I’m going back into the darkness,”
“You have me from now on. I’m Haechan, full sun,” you look back down at him and find him smiling at you. Seeing his soft smile made your body feel warm all over. It was probably his sleepiness talking, you smile at him and lie back down. “Okay, full sun. Never let your light from now on,”
He promised he wouldn’t.
May
You’ve gone from productive and inspired to bored as hell and barely caring in the span of a few days.
After the rooftop, you started doing your work in the living room more often. Haechan caught on and soon you were both doing classes and work in the living room. It had it’s downsides for instance when you get called to recite he would try to make you laugh by making funny faces across the room or when you have to unmute at the same time and your voices overlapped. It made things tricky, but you liked working with him around. You felt more inspired somehow, maybe it was your competitive sides trying to see who’s in class and studying longest.
“Miss Y/N, are you quarantined with a boyfriend?” you nosy teacher was squinting at the screen when you realized they could probably see Haechan behind you. Your cheeks turn a bright red as you turn your computer screen to the side to not show Haechan anymore. You see your classmates sniggering as you deny your professor’s assumption.
“No, that’s my roommate, sir,” Though the idea did get you excited, being quarantined with a boyfriend. Or maybe it was the idea of Haechan being the supposed boyfriend in question. You start to wonder what it would be like. You were already quarantined with him, what would the boyfriend part be like? You let yourself peek at Haechan as you wonder, watching him with his head buried in his laptop busily typing away. You turn your attention back to the screen before he catches you looking, oblivious that he already did. The boy couldn’t hide the smile growing on his face as he adjusts the hood on his head.
That weekend, Haechan wanted to watch a horror movie. Wanted, but ended up forfeiting and knocking on your room to get you to watch it together instead. Lucky for him, you just finished the rest of your workload and needed a break. Which explains why you ended up bundled up beside Haechan that evening, practically in his arms already. You’d buried your head in his chest as another jumpscare came up.
“Ah, seriously! Lee Haechan, why did you pick such a scary movie if you can’t handle it?” you scold him, channeling your anger at the movie onto him.
His chest vibrates as he laughs finding it cute how your first instinct was to seek his comfort. You kinda wish brains had a record button so you’d be able to hear his laughter on repeat. Haechan wished it wasn’t obvious, but he didn’t even find the movie scary. Though the way you cuddled up to him made it worth the watch. “Why did you agree to watch with me then?”
You don’t answer, but you knew well to yourself that it’s because you thought it’d be fun even if you hated scary movies and the fact that they always take place in the dark. It fuels your phobia even more and feeds your imagination with more grim.
The movie goes on with you peeking through your hands, huddled against Haechan. You don’t notice his arm had found its way around you, holding you close. When the ending credits roll in, you both take relieved breaths and it’s only then you notice the space between you, or the lack thereof.
You sit there, watching the credits roll and just as you were ready to retract yourself, the title card flashes on the screen and the song to the movie blares through the speakers, sending you back into his embrace. He’s screaming too, more surprised by your sudden action than the movie itself. You wait until it’s silent before finally pulling away, fixing your hair and clearing your throat.
“Sorry,” you shyly tell him. Haechan lets his arm linger on your side of the couch, suddenly feeling empty without you in it. He smiles, “That’s fine. They say horror movies are great at breaking the ice,”
He stood up to exit the movie and click on something to calm you both.
When he gets back beside you, you don’t know how to position yourself, so you just take the end of the couch and start scrolling on your phone to lessen the awkwardness. It didn’t really work, since your phone decided to run out of battery, forcing you to look up at the movie and living through the awkwardness. You were already searching for the feeling of the warmth he provided, and the smell of his cologne.
“I don’t think I can sleep tonight,” you confess, looking out the window and seeing that dusk had fallen on your city. Haechan twiddles with his thumbs, letting out a laugh.
“Then let’s just not sleep until sunrise,”
And so you agree on it, and somehow between those hours with the movie playing at a significantly low volume, you found your way back to being in his arms again.
June
You knew his birthday was soon. You and Haechan have gotten extremely close in the course of a few weeks. Soon, the teasing didn’t have any awkward silences after them anymore and the couch became more lived on. Cuddles became a normal thing and you barely spent time in your respective rooms.
The quarantine was starting to take its effects. You were bored and Haechan’s birthday was just the perfect reason for you to go all out and throw him a birthday party. A birthday party in conclusive to only the two of you.
This would be a challenge, since you’ve both gotten so close that you can’t do anything without Haechan being within a few feet radius from you. The thing you learned about Haechan is his want to always be involved. He wants to help all the time, even if you didn’t need any. The second thing you know about Haechan, is that he’s too smart for this to be an easy success for you. He’ll figure it out like nothing. The boy was quick to catch onto your little pranks.
So, you decide to just tell him.
Upon walking into the living room, you find him on his phone.
“I’m throwing you a party,” you tell him. His head shoots up at the sound of your voice and a smile instantly finds its way to his lips. The smile you’ve grown to love seeing everyday.
“I love parties,” he gets up from where he sat and walks towards you expectedly. He’s already planning to be of help. For his own birthday preparations. This boy is just unbelievable.
“Yeah so I’m going to need you to not bug me, because this is a surprise,” you fold your arms and lean against the doorframe. He blinks skeptically at what you’d just said, “Okay?” You grin at him. He merely nods, still registering what you told him. A surprise party that he’s already aware of.
Except, today isn’t his birthday. It was tomorrow.
The plan was to get him to believe that you were going to surprise him, but you failed. But when tomorrow comes, you take out the cake you successfully baked and then it would be a surprise. You make him get into his room to get started on baking in the kitchen.
“Haechan!” you whaled.
In a matter of seconds, he was beside you. His smile fell as he entered the door as you showed him burnt crisps from the cake tin. “Oh no,” he pouts, reaching out to take the tin from you and you completely forgetting that it just came out the oven. He lets go instantly, letting out a yelp of pain as his hands feel the immediate burn.
“Holy shit, Haechan!” you scream.
At this moment, you’re looking down at your roommate who’d collapsed to the floor holding his hand in pain. Your eyes search the room in panic and you try to remember every other bullshit seminar your school gave on fire safety. You ask to him to get up, trying not to panic but he was making it hard when he’s making dying whale noises. You run cool water on his hand, trying to shush him and calm him down. His thumb and majority of his palm had gone red.
Stupid, stupid. This is all your fault. You kept repeating this in your head.
After a few hours, you were both sat on the kitchen stools with his hand on the counter and you closely inspecting it.
“I’ll be fine, doesn’t hurt a bit,” Haechan assures you, declining your offer of going to the clinic a few hours after the incident.
“Oh yeah? Well just an hour ago you sounded like you were gonna die,” you place your hands on your hips, looking skeptically at the boy. You managed to treat the burn and it didn’t look so bad. But you’re not a medical major, you were an accountant. And accountants don’t treat burns.
Haechan’s eyebrows knit together, “I’m fine, Y/N,”
“Then at least let me Venmo you some money for the trouble,” you reach into your pocket for your phone but Haechan grabs you by the hand before you could unlock your phone. “You’re insane. It’s really fine,” he chuckles. Your expression grew tender as you looked into Haechan’s round eyes. It was as if you were melting. “Fine,” you drop your phone onto your lap but his hand hasn’t left yours yet.
In the moment, it felt like time had stopped and the only people left in the world were you and him. As cheesy and cliché as it may sound, it was exactly what it felt like. Haechan cracked into a shy smile as he retracts his hand and places it back on his thigh. “We can just get a store-bought cake for me,” he smiles sheepishly and you nod.
“Shall we?” he nods his towards the door and your feet are planted back on the floor as you stopped daydreaming about his smile. “Oh, now?” you blinked which makes Haechan laugh. “No, maybe next year on my 21st birthday,” he chaffed. You roll your eyes and smile stupidly at him. “Alright, let’s go,”
The grocery was a good ten minute trip from your campus. It was your first time going out together like this and even the first time you were going out into the outside world. You and Haechan had just been getting groceries delivered since March and the mini mart nearby had essential food. Of course, ramen and tteokbokki.
You both put on masks and made sure to social distance as you got out. The elevator ride down was filled with laughter and jokes as per usual. There was never a dull moment with Haechan. Each time came with a surprise and you learning something new about him. And even about yourself.
Haechan led you to where the school let students store vehicles in and he came out wheeling a bicycle which you thought was awfully cute. For a moment you thought he was going to come out with a car.
“Why’re you laughing?” Haechan asks, eyes falling serious which made your laughter come to a halt. “Sorry,” you apologize but you both knew he was joking. You burst out laughing together and he shook his head, a smile plastered on his face as you walked towards the campus gates.
With most students leaving and teachers doing class at home, the campus was deserted. No one was around and it kinda made things a little romantic… if your idea of romantic was a quiet bike date then by all means. This was perfect.
The next day
You and Haechan had passed out on the couch that night after your grocery trip. You both bulked up on snacks and personal necessities. You were bundled in blankets on the couch with him sleeping soundly when you sneakily slip from his embrace to tip-toe to your room and grab the cake which was in your mini fridge.
As you peer over his angelic face with his eyes closed and lips pink and plump, you giggle to yourself remembering his shenanigans in the grocery store.
“Don’t you need this?” you were both passing by the hygiene section and past the boxes of sanitary care products. You furrowed your brows, eyeing the variety in display in front of you before grabbing the brand you knew the best.
“I’m surprised you’re open about that,” you toss it into your shared trolley.
Haechan smiles bashfully, scratching his head. “Since I have a sister, I gotta know all about these things,” he explains and you didn’t know he could get even cuter as he shyly diverted his attention towards something on the floor.
You smile at the fond memory. Lee Haechan was a caring brother, a family man.
The cake you baked looked exactly as you’d left it, which was perfect.
After your grocery run, you and Haechan grabbed a cake at the local bakery as a supposed exchange for your ‘burned’ one. The cake was discounted, because it was cancelled by whoever ordered it. You both felt bad that the baker had someone cancel on them after the cake was done, which was why you took it. So now, instead of the cake saying ‘Happy Birthday’ it said, ‘Congrats’.
You stick three candles on the real cake, quickly lighting it and blowing out your match before carrying it slowly to Haechan who hadn’t moved an inch from the couch.
“Happy birthday to you,” you sang softly. Haechan’s eyes fluttered open and you swear you saw his eyes sparkle. Or perhaps it was the candles reflecting in his eyes. Eitherway, you thought it was the most beautiful and magical sight you’ve ever seen. Mission surprise and outwit Haechan, accomplished.
July
Summer has officially dawned. The weather rose to extreme heights which had you and Haechan strip from hoodies and into lighter clothes. Or no clothes at all.
Haechan worked out. This was something new you found out about him today, when you walked out into the living room and found him in workout shorts and a tanktop. The sight was breathtaking, quite literally. You took in a sharp breath as you catch a glimpse of Haechan’s honey skin and toned muscles. Who knew underneath the bundle of comfy hoodies he has on, was all this. When you lie in his arms, it wasn’t uncomfortable at all, you wouldn’t have been able to guess he was fucking ripped.
Haechan turns his head at the sound you made and watches with a smirk as you make a sharp turn heading towards the kitchen. He gets up from where he was doing sets and follows you into the kitchen where you’re trying to concentrate on making yourself a lemonade.
“It’s hot, right?” Haechan creeps up behind you, peeking over your shoulder. You nod meekly, squeezing the lemon into the pitcher with so much force that some got on your shirt.
“I didn’t know you worked out,” you say, trying to sound nonchalant about it. Haechan hums, wiping his towel around his neck. You turn to face him after collecting yourself and bring the cup up to your lips and sip only for you to choke on it as Haechan’s perfectly toned abs come into view.
He was lifting his shirt to wipe his face with, revealing half his torso. Haechan knew exactly what he was doing to you. You had to get out of there. With quick steps, you walk out of the kitchen gripping tightly onto your glass. You can hear Haechan’s satisfied laugh in the kitchen as you close your bedroom door behind you and rest your body against it. Jesus.
August
The ab incident was two weeks ago, but the image of Haechan has been engraved to your brain since then and each look at him had you flushing bright pink. Cuddles on the couch lessened and you chose to sit on the solo chair nowadays when watching movies.
Haechan felt bad about it, he wondered if maybe you were uncomfortable with what he did and wanted to talk to you about it. He just didn’t know how, when every eye contact would make his heart race and each silence was followed by you trying to fill it desperately.
You’d said goodnight early, not being able to take the awkwardness tonight.
“Oh… okay, goodnight,” Haechan mutters, sounding unsure and a little weary. You just give him a smile before quietly slipping into your room. You knew he must feel weird about how you were acting, which is why you were going to plan how to act normal again. Tell Haechan he didn’t do anything wrong and that you were just weird for not expecting him to have such toned muscles. Nope, that didn’t sound right.
Your thoughts were jumbled, which was why you needed tonight to think.
But as you tossed and turned in bed, it was apparent that you weren’t going to be able to think at all. You hugged your duvet close to you and sighed, getting impatient with yourself. Your feelings had grown in an exceedingly fast pace, without you even realizing it and with little to no efforts in stopping it. Now, you find yourself in a pickle.
“How stupid of you,Y/N. Of course he won’t like you back, without the quarantine you’d both be strangers,” you hissed to yourself. You wholeheartedly believed that Haechan was only forced to quarantine and get to know you better. That without any of this, he wouldn’t give a damn about you.
But unbeknownst to you, the boy in question was pacing around in your hallway, with his heart hammering in his chest just the same way. Haechan was debating whether to knock on your door and saying sorry or waiting for you in the morning when you’d woken up. But his thoughts were disturbed when he hears your voice from the other side. You sounded frustrated, whispering to yourself. His ears perked up at the sound of his name.
“Goddamnit, Haechan. You and your handsome face. What are you doing to me?” you groaned, getting up from the bed and planting your feet firmly to the floor. You made your decision. You were going to have a talk with him and tell him you were sorry. You marched towards the door and flung it open only to see Haechan right in front you, frozen at what he’d just heard.
You look up at him, face burning up as you diminished under his gaze. It felt like years were passing by as you stood facing each other in utter silence. And just when you finally plucked up the courage to speak up and explain yourself, Haechan takes a step forward and closes the distance between the two of you, connecting your lips together in a kiss.
You didn’t move a muscle, you froze as your brain tried to register what was going on. Haechan pulls away, looking rather shattered. “I’m sorry-“ he quickly apologizes, stumbling back in horror as he realized what he’d just done. This was exactly how he didn’t want things to go. No, this wasn’t how he wanted it to pan out. He knew he wanted to kiss you the moment he was drawn to your lips the first night you fell asleep on the couch together. When he looked down at your perfectly plump lips and was so enticed by it. Haechan has been wanting this for so long.
He quickly realized the mess he’d just put himself in, and he tried to ignore the hurt he was feeling in his chest. He didn’t know what to do next but you made it easy for him when you took a hold of his shirt, pulled him in and pressed your lips on his again. This was nothing like the first one, this kiss was a confession. Filled with so much want and desperation, Haechan found himself sighing in relief as his hands found purchase of your waist. You pulled him into your dark room, and for once it wasn’t so scary in the anymore. Because you had him with you, and only he mattered in that moment.
September
Everything after the kiss felt like you were floating in a dream. Everything was sweeter and you viewed the world differently. Haechan became your world, perhaps he always was. That night, as you sat with him on the edge of your bed, out of breath and adrenaline rushing through your veins, you both poured your feelings out to each other. Talking about how sorry you were that you distanced yourself for a while, and how he’s sorry he might have pushed you to your limit. The night ended with you in each other’s arms, and everything felt right. Like things couldn’t get any better.
Today was the first Friday of the semester and Haechan invited Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun over for their annual game night. It’s some sort of tradition for them and you agreed to help him set things up. You weren’t sure how things would turn out, and you felt a little awkward because you’ve never interacted with the two boys. But, you wanted to make things work. As Haechan set up his gaming consoles in the living room, you put the popcorn in the microwave. Extra butter and salt, as per Jeno’s request. The doorbell rang and Haechan’s head shot up in excitement. He runs to get it and welcomes his friends by embracing them each. Haechan looked overjoyed and the sight made you smile.
“Hi, y/n!” friendly Renjun gave you a wave as he passed by the kitchen. You return it and give him a shy smile before taking the popcorn out of the microwave.
“Ah! Is that butter and salted popcorn?” Jeno entered the kitchen, his face beaming. You nod, placing it on the counter because of its heat. “Haechan said you like it that way,” you smile.
“I’m just gonna get my games, be right back,” Haechan excuses himself to go into his room, leaving you with his friends.
“Wow! Now I know why Haechan didn’t wanna leave,” Jaemin walks over, taking the bowl from the counter and you follow as you both walked to the living room. The boys laughed as you stood there with a hint of confusion in your face. When it was apparent you had no idea what they were talking about, Jaemin spoke up again. “Haechan was supposed to move in with us. But he suddenly cancelled, saying he’d rather stay,”
Your heart swelled with joy hearing this and your cheeks heated up. You plop down on the solo sofa beside the lads and try to hide the grin on your face. “Oh,”
When Haechan came back, he immediately got seated inbetween your legs, finding comfort on the rug and grabbing a controller from the coffee table. The other boys immediately notice his actions and give him knowing smiles, catching his attention. “What? The rug is comfortable,” he reasoned.
But it was obvious. From the way you cheered him on in every game, how every celebration of his would include him looking up at you lovingly, that you weren’t just roommates anymore. And it didn’t take too long for the boys to catch on.
At the end of the night, you’d formed a bond with Haechan’s friends and became acquainted with them especially with Jaemin who even spoke to you about bills and taxes. The med student knew his stuff. You chatted about anything and everything, the boys asking you how you haven’t gone mad quarantining with Haechan yet, or if you’ve noticed his little habits. The night went on until it was time to say goodbye.
Haechan practically had to shut the door for you to stop talking with them, they became your friends as well and even exchanged contacts.
You and Haechan collapse on the couch, exhausted from hosting the night and from all the laughter that went on. He lifted his head slightly, watching you stare off into the ceiling. He slithered his way on top of you, occupying your vision with his sweet face in the dim lighting. You broke out into a grin, pulling him by the string of his hoodie and welcoming his lips with yours. Things were perfect this way.
October
“Why’re you so mad?” Haechan shakes his head exasperatedly.
“Because-“ you frowned, turning on your chair and trying to find the words to say anything, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t form any words and you were way too frustrated to think. You were about to lose your spot in a class you badly needed to take, and when Haechan was trying to help, you’d released your anger on him and yelled.
He walked over to your bedroom door, with his hands in the air defeatedly. “Whatever, y/n. Figure it out on your own if you’re gonna yell at me for it,” He shuts the door behind him quietly, but the anger was there.
This was your first ever argument. Maybe he didn’t know this yet, but you didn’t work well when things don’t go your way, and it was a bad habit you didn’t take pride in. You’d rather work on projects on your own and when Haechan tried to offer his help, you burst. The moment the door shut, guilt immediately flooded within you as you sighed in exhaustion. You needed that slot, this professor was your way to success in this class. But it was wrong for you to freak out on Haechan like that. You didn’t handle the feeling that was in your chest either, you had to apologize.
After a few hours of still no avail in the slot, you decided to just take your L. You had to figure out how to apologize to Haechan, and do it fast. You tip-toed out of your room and into the dimly lit house. The only light on was in your hallway and the overhead light above your dining room. There was food prepared, a bowl set up and a plate to cover and keep it fresh along with a note.
Hope this calms you down, the note read.
When you lift the lid, revealing the spaghetti meal he prepared you felt a wave of regret wash over you and you head over to his room right away. The faint noise of his keyboard rattling from his rapid gaming can be heard as you push the door open slightly to peek in, and find Haechan with his headset on no doubt oblivious of your presence.
You approached the boy, ignoring the way he jolted in surprise. He got back to playing on his computer, focusing on his target in the game. You swung your leg over his, demanding for all his attention and plopping yourself down on his lap. He helps you get comfortable, grunting slightly from your position on him as you wrap your arms around him and nuzzled your head in the crook of his neck.
You can hear the sounds of his game coming from the headset he wore, and you let a few moments pass before you hear a gunshot and Haechan stops typing, you assumed he lost. But did he really? When he’s got the girl of his dreams in his arms. The feeling of lost only lasted a mere two seconds before it subsided.
“Did you eat the spaghetti?” he murmurs against your hair, turning his face to the side to feel it against his skin. You shook your head.
“Why not?” he asks, sounding confused. You loved his spaghetti.
“I wanted to thank you first… and apologize,” you mumble, letting your lips rest by his neck. Haechan liked the feeling of it, closing his eyes and just listening to you. You’ve been forgiven the moment he was in the kitchen. The spaghetti being an unspoken apology to you. He knew you must be feeling awful and he didn’t like that he added his own frustration to your own. But he knew letting you apologize would make you feel better, so he let you.
“That’s okay, baby. You’re forgiven,” he lifts his hand to comb his fingers through your hair and you pull away to look at him. He looked so full of love, and it almost brought you to tears that it was for you. Instead you made yourself smile, leaning in slowly and giving him a kiss. Baby. You liked the sound of that. More importantly, you liked the sound of it coming from his pretty mouth.
Haechan puckers his lips, asking for another kiss and you gladly give him another. His hands swiftly wrap around the underside of your thigh as he carries you over and throws you to his bed.
“I know another way to relax you,” he hovers on top of you, hands on either side, framing your body.
“I think I’d like that,” you trail your finger down his shoulder and you could see the fire ignite in his eyes.
November
The first trimester was coming to a close, and there would be a week long break before students were shoved back into the next semester. Before that, you had to get through exam week and naturally, you were a walking corpse. The living room was cluttered with your reading materials and reviewers and Haechan started spending more time on his computer coding for his own finals.
At 6 in the afternoon, you sat under the lamp with your coffee that had gone cold in hand. You don’t notice when Haechan entered the room, or when he walked over carrying a new mug for you with steaming tea instead.
“Hey, thanks,” you quietly murmur, accepting it thankfully. Haechan smiles at you warmly. For the past few nights, there’s been less conversations between you. Most nights, he would come out of his room with tired eyes from looking at the computer all day, seeking to be in your arms. He’d find you buried in a pile of books and papers, too peaceful and angelic to disturb. Haechan would just cover you in a blanket, and try to scoot as close as possible without waking you.
“You’re welcome,” he sinks down on the couch beside you, sighing in exhaustion. You set the mug aside and open your arms for him to come to. He moves closer until he’s in your embrace and you hug him close, feeling his warmth and taking in his scent. He smelled like freshly done laundry and baby powder.
“I love you,” he whispers.
The clock was ticking, the soft whistling of the kettle could be heard but in that moment, it was silent. As the words Haechan let go of settled above you in the air, you both stayed quiet. Almost as if he didn’t realize what he’d just said, Haechan looks up at you innocently. Your lips part, and you blink as your heart reacted the same way it does with every kiss, every touch and each time you look in his eyes. The feeling of bliss, pure adoration and… love.
“I love you too,” you whisper back. It couldn’t have gotten any more perfect than this.
The pandemic was possibly the worst way that allowed you got to bond with Haechan, but you were thankful. You can’t believe that it took a deadly virus for you to realize the man you’ve longed for was right in front of you the whole time. Of course, in the least obvious way possible. Clad in sweatpants and uncombed messy hair, Lee Haechan is your lover and you wouldn’t change a thing.
