Discover Top Posts Tagged with #almost 25

17 years ago today - what if Marley would meet Lea?

#professor layton #professor layton and the curious village #it's my laytonversary everyone #sobbing #17 years is crazy #I was 7 when I got the game :::#now I'm 24 #almost 25 #this feels really special #because now I have all of you with me #thank you for everything #this is both me btw if you can't tell #tho I think it's obvious given the theme of the pic-

Is it just me or is anybody else kinda trapped in 2000s and 2010s nostalgia / aesthetics?

#2000s nostalgia #2010 nostalgia #almost 25 #nostalgia #old times #aesthetics

*sent with invisible ink* all I want for my birthday is like $10,000, and to meet Taylor and also that guitar.

#text #almost 25

My birthday is in three days

#almost 25

Probably the most shocking outcomes of my miscarriage

Since having the miscarriage I’ve worked a lot harder at eating healthier, like A LOT harder. Like I don’t think I’ve ever been that conscious about food before. It’s been about a week and the chronic joint pain that I was having has already subsided, I’ve also already started to notice the bloating go away and my digestive system is behaving better than it has in months. MONTHS.

This has involved giving up soda, caffeine and the easy fix work snacks that I usually pack in my lunch box. It’s taken more planning and prepping. Such as making a smoothie to bring to work instead of a pop tart or sugar cereal. I always thought that if something like this became part of our story that I was going to crumble and that I was never going to capable of self love again, but I still am. I’m not saying it’s easy, I’ve had to rewrite my own narratives. I’ve had challenge my inner most thoughts.

But the truth of the matter was, my body did everything right, and learning that was THE HARDEST truth to write into my own narrative. My body isn’t responsible for this miscarriage, I didn’t miscarry, the baby miscarried. There was nothing that I could have done in this scenario, and no matter how much I wanted to have something I could have done differently, I couldn’t had. My baby probably was dying long before the embryo finally gave in. And once it did, my body recognized that and it took care of itself. It, to my own dismay, emptied itself, and it did so within days of starting. My body required no medication, and my body recognized that though the bleeding had stopped, it wasn’t over even though I wanted it to be. And it doubled me over, put me bed and my uterus squeezed itself until it was cleared, so I could be fertile again, so I could carry again, and hopefully the next time without complication.

No matter how much I want to say my body failed me, it didn’t. My body did everything right, and that’s the education that women are so missing about their own reproductive system. It took 3 doctors and a therapist to help me accept that what they were saying was trying. This broke my heart, and this post sounds so much happier than I am. I’m not, and honestly it’s hard to find happiness, but I’ve chosen to look for it, and I’ve chosen to find it. I’ve chosen to move on with my life no matter how much I didn’t want to move on from May 30th.

It’s exceedingly hard because all I had was two little pink lines (and a digital test) that changed my life. I spent my days with intense nausea and threw up for many of them. Being pregnant immediately put my entire body into chaos. That was it. That was all I had of my baby. And I might have only been 6 weeks along but the second I found out I was pregnant there was a bond, and that was forcibly ripped away from me. And I’m angry, and I’m bitter, and I’m sad, and I’m heartbroken, but I cant feel those emotions towards myself. I didn’t ask for this or want this, I wanted our January baby.

But the more that I blamed myself, and punished myself, the more I felt hopeless. The more I felt that I’d never be a mom, that I’d never be pregnant. It was the day I woke up and decided that I needed to stop hurting my body on top of what I already went through. I needed to tell my body I was sorry for blaming it for something it did to protect me. I needed to tell my body that I still loved it. And that’s a journey every single day because its hard to love your body when you feel like there’s a giant hole that’s been punched through your stomach. But I have to believe that someday, someday, I’ll feel whole again.