#tw miscarriage

[jamm3rz]

i just saw someone compare being pro-choice to rooting for a happily pregnant woman to have a miscarriage, i think we’ve lost the plot

[bellaheartly]

zikki sneak peak!! it's from an upcoming post-canon fic that is going to fix the mako mermaids mess. triggers tagged.

Rikki studies him, struck by how different he feels. Gentler around the edges, like time and fatherhood have sanded him down. Five years can remake a person, she knows. It certainly remade her. 

Zane trails his fingertips along the pink lace trim of the nearest bag, lingering there as if grounding himself.

“I know I went a little overboard,” he says. “I just keeping thinking about that tiny jar of ashes whenever I walk into a baby aisle. I can't—my mind can't comprehend it."

Tiny jar of ashes. The phrase strikes Rikki cold. Realization settles with awful, ugly clarity — that their last loss must have been well into the second trimester. Maybe even the third. 

He swallows. “When Addie got her shots, I cried for two hours. Two. Hours. I was wrecked that she was hurting. I didn't put her down for those two hours, either. Even changed her on my lap. Like an insane person. Kelsey teased me for days. Still does, sometimes."

A pause. A ghost of a smile. “So I— We just want Cleo to have the best shower possible, you know? We've all gone overboard, honestly. Emma’s haul is insane.”

Rikki blinks back the shameful sting of tears. The thought claws at her—while she was sipping Sauvignon Blanc in first class, her once‑closest friends were living through hell thirty‑five thousand feet beneath her. 

She becomes acutely aware of the three‑hundred‑dollar shoes on her feet, suddenly too heavy, too loud. A flush crawls up her neck. In her success, is this really who she’s become?

"Cleo and Lewis are lucky to have you," Rikki says, unsure of what else to say. What could she? "Is everything … okay now? With the baby?" 

Zane nods. "Yeah, she's great. From the looking of the 3D sonogram, a full head of hair too. Cleo goes in for induction next week. It's a little late for a shower, tradionally speaking, but Cleo and Lewis— They wanted to wait. Until last minute. Just in case." 

Rikki fights the urge to vomit. Just in case. Just in case. 

Silence stretches out between them. It's hard to find words in this sort of wreckage. 

“It’s good that you’re here,” Zane says finally, and the sincerity of it nearly drives Rikki to her knees. “We’ve missed you.”

Rikki lets her gaze drift around Zane’s loungeroom. The photos on the wall catch her first — Addie grinning in half a dozen snapshots, Kelsey beside her in a few. The wedding photos are gone, tactfully so, but pictures of the three of them together remain. Cleo and Lewis, too. Emma. Bella. Will. All of them together. A whole constellation of people she once belonged to.

The room itself is nothing like the minimalistic, high‑lux home Zane grew up in. This place is warm. Lived in. Normal. A sectional buried under baby‑shower gifts. A handful of books stacked on the coffee table, spines cracked from use. Toys scattered across the rug in a way that speaks to real life, not the curated aesthetics Harrison was obsessed with. A stuffed dolphin slumped at the far end of the couch, its tail bent from being carried around by small hands.

Rikki thinks of her own home. It's nothing like this.

"I didn't mean to disappear," she says. 

An expression Rikki can't quite name flickers across Zane's face. 

"You're here now," he says. "That's what matters." 

[pastacat2]

Merch line of misery, pain and suffering

[bun-o-ween]

Wait but that pregnancy ask got me thinking (and made me sad), how would they, hypothetically, deal with a miscarriage? I suppose there are the variables of where and when, and if they even knew Ciel was expecting (or if he knew, whether he told Sebastian) - but there's something tragic in it, like, Ciel's body is barren soil. Nothing can grow in it, no new life can come, he can't bring anything into the world, he has to finish his damned business and die. And for Sebastian I feel it would bring up Addison trauma somehow: his own children die in the womb, and good, because what kind of father would he be, thinking about Ciel suffering 'because of him' in an eerily similar way to how Addison made Lucretia suffer. Though tbh I can imagine them being kind of glad it's over then and there, at least during canon. If it happened sometime after everything's said and done and they're living happily ever after (because that's definitely what's going to happen...right?) it would probably devastate them.

I’ve always kinda liked the idea of Ciel not realising he was carrying, and then having a miscarriage while Addisons got him. Because he doesn’t know he loved Sebastian at this stage, and this would make him examine that. I don’t think he wants a child and he would be super relieved not to be pregnant if Addison has him, but the part that would make him sad is that it’s Bastian’s baby, y’know? A part of him.

Bastian doesn’t want children because they’re scared they’ll be like him/be like Addison. But if Ciel did want kids? It would be because they’re like Sebastian. He truly does come to admire him and think he’s the greatest person in the world.

I think if they were together or in a place where they could realistically bring a kid into the world, a miscarriage would devastated them both for different and similar reasons. I don’t know if they’d have the words to be able to talk about it.

Lucky that’s just never gonna happen 😌🍀

[maryse127]

Imagine your girlfriend suffering a miscarriage during the world cup. You stay with the team despite losing your unborn son. You score a goal that could send the team to the next round. And then you just lose. In the stupidest way possible. Because apparently some people cant even shoot between the poles from eleven meters. Like not stopped by the keeper just straight up missing the goal.

This is the real life of Dutch player Cody Gakpo right now

[aloeverawrites]

[theboredvoid]

my friend has been working hard getting this old ipod working that he bought on ebay and there is so much tea in this thing holy shit

[permawanwan]

Suck. It. Up. [read tags for TWs]

This song, personally, has always has always spoken to me. Started listening probably near the end of middle school and I never looked back.

As a torture/abuse victim, MARETU makes very relatable songs. Kikuo as well. They have dark topic and are unapologetic about what they’re talking about.

It’s actually relieving to see someone talking about teen pregnancy and shit (coin locker baby 4 example) Without holding back. Like yes, it’s not always “I love my baby! Life was so good after she/he was born!”

Pregnancy, at 12, is horrifying. In so many ways.

I feel like we would’ve had a coin locker baby had we actually given birth and not miscarried. So in a way, I’m glad the second happened sometimes.

Okay, I should stop ranting.

I just love MARETU okay? Listen to him, okay?

This song too, okay? 👍

Good job. Petting you on the head.. very obedient