#almost lucid

[secretacent]

Lately I've seen lots of dreams where I've noticed I'm dreaming. The most common triggers for noticing the state which I am in are how I bike or drive or jump long distances without control, and irl deceased people or pets appearing alive or as ghosts in the dream. Despite noticing, I still have a hard time taking control of the dream or waking up on purpose.

[dreamyduff-blog]

Dream Journal - 8/28/2014

The first part had a zombie apocalypse on main street at Magic Kingdom, and it felt a lot like Killing Floor. I found a gun shop near Town Square Theater, but all the guns there were way too expensive (particularly the sniper rifle and its scope, which were separate for some reason). I stepped back outside and found a discarded pump action shotgun, already loaded with shells. I picked it up, fired once with a normal shell, and fired again only to find out it had bogus rounds in it, like confetti blaster and water-filled. The water shell actually burst on me in the pump’s magazine. I returned to the gun shop only to find the sniper rifle had been apprehended by a chubby bear, like full on “eats honey and shits in the woods” bear, but he could talk. I decided the best way to settle this dispute was to kill the bear, so I unloaded the rest of my rounds into him, including pepper spay and two different kinds of incendiary. Finally I got the sniper rifle, but then that part of the dream ended.

There was some sort of interim part where I was on a helicopter flying over the area after all the damage had been dealt. There wasn’t much detail to this part, other than flying over Town Square looking at the carnage.

Next thing I knew I was going back to Disney, but everything was normal. Somehow I had acquired one of the official Goofy character suits for my own personal use, and had decided to play a prank by wearing it to Disney. Everything seemed to be going fine until I got trapped at the character meet and greet, where somehow there were already two Goofy characters right around the corner from one another. At that point my old cast member instincts started rising up again about character integrity, and I started freaking out when I realized Missy, one of the entertainment managers I used to work for, was walking around. She saw me, right there in the thick of it with another Goofy (somehow not bothered by the other one aground the corner), gave a stern look and motioned we all go backstage. Once in the dressing room she began to interrogate me, talking about giving me a trespassing ban. I apologized profusely, telling her this isn’t really like me, in fact this couldn’t be me. It was that point I realized it had to be a dream. I tried checking someone’s bag, but the logo SEEMED to hold still, and not be wobbly or changing, like it was real. I seemed to be defeated, and convinced it was real, so I sat down, dejected. It was then I overheard Missy talking about missing a Goofy for the next set. In that moment I realized maybe I could help! After all, I had a costume, I knew the character well enough from working there before, it was perfect! Nevermind the fact that I’d been fired from Disney before and had no reason as a non-cast member to even be backstage. But Missy considered it, and it almost happened too, but then I had my hopes dashed when an extra performer walked in to replace the missing Goofy. At that point Missy pretty much dismissed me, told me to go home, and keep my Goofy costume there. I nodded and “yes ma’am’d” as I left, and the last thing I remember was walking through the turnstiles with my big black bag holding the Goofy costume, heading home.

[down-and-adrift-blog]

SO there's this dream I had once. It's kind of embarrassing. I dreamed that I found a stray kitten somewhere and so I decided to take care of it. It was bright yellow and white. In some mystical way she always understood when I spoke to her. Like everything from 'wait, I'll be back with some dinner or like you can sleep here' and stuff. LOL. So, in the dream, there were like zillions of obstacles but I always took care of the cat. It get's funnier. I dreamed that I was going to Texas with a friend dressing up all like cowboys and so the cat wanted to come so I dressed her up like a cowgirl and took her along lol. In the end, like in a movie, there was this massive storm-like event where it would force me to lose the cat.Like my house was being destroyed or something. But still the cat was safe with me and I ended up... marrying the ..cat!  lmao such a weird dream.

p.s- the dream felt surreal 

[shehadpotential]

WHY DO WE GIVE GUNS TO FREAKS & IDIOTS??? Today was my first looking-down-the-gun-barrel experience.

I went on a photo shoot this morning as far away from civilization as possible... I came across an old boarded up house, checked the perimeter to make sure it wasn't a residence, and it definitely wasn't. The shed had already collapsed in on itself completely.

Couple hours later, I was editing a couple shots on my iPad (hadn't seen even one car)... I heard something and looked up, in my side view mirror, And suddenly i a man's right hand reflected back, holding a 9mm (or a maybe a 10 cal - nice gun), with his finger already on the trigger! As he comes up to my car. I looked in front of me (hauling ass was sounding like a great idea), and a white sedan blocked my path - and the only way out. I wasn't sure if I was about to be killed in an assault and robbery, or if this was an over zealous wanna-be bad ass pseudo trigger-happy Texas Cowboy who most likely had no intention on using the gun but wanted to scare me. I decided there was no way in HELL I'd give him the satisfaction of a fear response, so I looked him in the eye, looked at his weapon, and just asked if he was going to shoot me. He said no, but it's his property. I explained to him that I had been very careful to look for no tres. posts/signs. There were none. No #'s, no warnings, no livestock, no gates, no fences, no habitable edifice (there was three bales of hay)! The shack-house was long-ago boarded up at every window and door. The shed had collapsed already. Mailbox was not being used.... For God's Sakes, people, we're talking about BFE Nowhere ~ almost to the Oklahoma border!! I had determined it to be abandoned earlier this morning, (um, I WAS an actual Texas Probation Officer and worked with and supervised every criminal you could think of, and that includes a lot of home visits... You learn to observe the homes VERY carefully!). :/ ... Anyways, It was definitely abandoned, but HE thought I was there to steal his tractor(??). Lol, ME. The girl in the wide open with heeled leather boots, a bright red hat, pink lipstick, with matching sunglasses, in a Camry Hybrid- alone..!!! ....Coming out at midday, parking in plain view, and masterminding the theft of an approx 10 ton piece of machinery - with a freaking hybrid 4 cylinder??? I hate country red-neck wanna be cowboys. I think he just wanted to see me scared or something, but I really wasn't. I don't know why. Had I noticed the 9mm before he reached my trunk area, I probably would have made a run, rammed his friend, and hauled ass. Fucking castle laws - - Texas, don't you see the morons that are using these laws to play "Texas Ranger," since they can't cut it in reality?? I'm all for constitutional rights, but .., isn't he perhaps abusing that right just a LITTLE BIT? I left more angry than anything. That's how stupid shit starts and people die. There's no way I posed any danger to his Wellfare, if necessary he was large enough to take me Down physically OR.., wait until I do something that actually justifies my having to look down the barrel of your freshly cleaned pistol! With a posture THAT aggressive, I'm thinking at first of the more "Rapist/Murdering" types, & had I been armed... It just could have taken an unfortunate turn.. All because he wanted to freak out a single female parked by his sacred hay. How can people be so IGNORANT?? Aghh!!!!!!!!!

*** I'm totally irritated at myself too! How did I let myself get flanked so easily by two farmers without even noticing?? ***

[lcddrm-blog]

tuesday august 3rd 2011

sitting in my room which looks a little funny for some reason - dont remember why. few people come round - knew they were coming but i don’t know how. they are at the bottom of the stairs and I walk out to see who it is, for some reason i have a bit of wood in my hand and i get angry and nearly hit them in the face, but i’m only joking, but taking it too far. realizing at this point i feel very strange, usually a semi trigger for going lucid for me. feeling very depersonalized at this point, starting to question what i’m doing and why i feel this way. fade back into dreaming, goes blank for a bit but i remember sitting in my room again with friends who arrived before too. some how half of my wall and one window sort of disconnects very cleanly and is lying on the floor, one of my friends admits to doing it and is saying sorry, for some reason i don’t care in the slightest and simply put the wall back up. goes blurry again but i remember it kinda falling off and going back up a few times, then i remember nothing more.

[usualvernacular-blog]

Breaking the 4th Wall... In My Dream

I don’t quite remember how the dream started, but I have a vague idea of where it was going before it shifted to the dream I do remember. I’d been chasing some guy who had killed somebody dear to me. Despite the pleadings of my dream wife and kids, I went out into a rainy cobblestone street and followed the man. He ducked into a bar, and I followed, elated that I’d had to tail him for such a short time. As I entered I saw him moping over a drink at a seat right next to the door, which was perfect because after I killed him I could get away quickly. I walked further into the bar, laid my coat on the counter, ordered a drink from the bartender and then looked around for a weapon. I saw a stack of books, and something came to mind for me to say to the man before I killed him. As best as I can recall it was some sort of sharp, rhetorical question that would get his attention and bring his gaze to me right before I brought a heavy book crashing upward into his chin and then down onto his head (I saw this in my dream imagination). Satisfied with my plan, I grabbed a book and moved towards my target only to see him smirk knowingly before he dashed out. Things sped up at that point, I recalled people warning me that violence begat violence, that I’d get killed, I saw my target lurking out on the street and knew he was waiting to kill me, I began roaming the bar trying to subtly stash silverware in my sleeve for a weapon, and then I sat on my stool dejected. Which is where the first shift started.

The bar was still a bar and the customers were all the same, but I felt less like I was in a bar and more like I was running an orphanage. Then this little girl climbed up onto my lap and I remembered that she’d had a nightmare a few days previous that someone had been murdered and then the following day we saw the same murder on the news. She told me a long string of things I can’t remember, hugged me and hopped down to the floor. As she wandered off, I told a young man behind the bar (the scenery still said bar, but everything else had shifted to an orphanage that I ran) to “go find all the forms she filled out, white out those parts, fill them out again and bring them back.” He nodded and rushed off, and suddenly it hit me (I have no idea why, but something she said apparently clued me in) that the girl was having visions and she was about to have another.

I ran through the bar, but as I turned the corner at the end it became a hallway in a hospital leading to a waiting room with TV where the little girl was screaming and pointing at the screen while she described a murder she was seeing. As we reached the waiting room, we could see the TV was off. I heard her describe the murderer, then looked up and saw the same man in a janitor’s outfit watching us. He winked at me, drug his finger across his throat and ran off just as I half-remembered that it was the same man I was chasing originally. We tore through the hospital after him; through hallways, which turned into rainy country roads, which turned into incredibly large bathrooms with a lot stalls, before finally shifting back to a hospital hallway that ended in a “Police Ward: Restricted Area.” The fake janitor beelined for those doors and crashed through them with a shout of victory. We weren’t far behind and arrived before the doors closed.

Suddenly my view was drawn back to third person and I could see myself and the young man I’d given orders to earlier trying to walk through the open doorway but unable to move. An older lady doctor approached us from inside the ward, stopping a few feet away, and began to speak as I was pulled back to my first person view, “You can’t come in here! Can’t you jibronis read a damn sign?” My view went weird again, kicking out to the left as I saw myself yell, “there is a fucking murderer dressed like one of your janitors and we’re chasing him, please help us!” Then third person me, turned to a non-existent audience and said, “Which is what I SHOULD have said. Instead, I said this…” Back in first person, I rambled off some arguments about how it was my duty, she couldn’t stop me, and it was important. She simply shook her head as the door shut.

I went limp, felt wounded by the loss, and suddenly a woman that looked like Alec Baldwin’s Senator girlfriend from 30 Rock was supporting me under my shoulder and singing “Oh man is a giddy thing, Ohh man is a giddy thing, ohhh man is a giddy thing, and his love is a giddy thing” which is ‘Sigh No More’ by Mumford & Sons despite that last bit about love being a giddy thing. I woke up as we stumbled out into the rain with her repeating those verses endlessly and off pitch.

* * *

Oh and before all that I do remember, without context, a scene where I was hanging out with some girl and showing her a nuclear missile I’d stolen while explaining how we could run off to some tropical paradise and sell it to the highest bidder. So in my dreams, I’m almost a terrorist in it for the money before turning into a vengeful family man and then an honorable head of an orphanage that still wants to kick the shit out some bad guys. Logging my dreams might be a bad idea; my imagination is off its nut.