#almscliff

[callumclimbs]

If I write it, I mean it?

Here begins the rest of my life. Uni finished, degree in hand, I go into the real world. 

All that is too scary, lets go climbing.

This year I have two goals. To make sure I stick to my word, here is a time stamped blog post to make me feel guilty everytime I try to give up.

1.  Tick the cliff. This sounds impossible, and it is. Lets see how far I can get! So far I’ve climbed most of the achieveable boulder problems, now onto the easier trad.

2.  Make a film. This is something I’ve toyed with for about five years, but now with the time, strength and a bit of knowledge maybe I can make it work. To achieve this, I will start making short edits every week and uploading. Hopefully by the end of the season I should have enough footage and the right skills to make a half decent film.

With that in mind, here is my first offering:

The editing isn’t super slick, the footage isn’t perfect and the conditions were far from it too. However the process is about learning and it would be impossible to learn if you didn’t try. Here’s hoping the final product is significantly better!

[nomadicguy]

[nomadicguy]

Go outside! Magic can happen.

[nomadicguy]

[nomadicguy]

[livingwithwads]

That boy needs therapy

I find this rather resembles the theme of this post. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8BWBn26bX0

I feel like this blog is fast losing its stupidity and the author his credibility as a daft twat. It's not the 4 and a half hours i've just spent reading about mortgages and related cases that have made me realise just how little so many words can mean. Perhaps it's the first board session i've had in the past week and a half and my body has remembered what endorphins feel like. Energy and chemical joy coursing through the bloodstream acting as morphine to dull the incessant law. Or i'm high on dishwasher solvents. 

2012 was made for climbing the keel (7c) (yes it is shut up). 2013 climbing the bulb (7c+) which, ok, i didn't climb until 2014. So whats the next step? A new crag, a new grade? Consolidation at 6c+ because thats really how hard I climb on weekdays? Nope, all the chips are in for 2014. I will spend my future climbing days under a piece of rock I know so well I can probably climb it blindfolded. I'll post a video, it could be quite funny on the final throw... Yep, I will not seek a new crag and I will stick to what I know. KEELHAUL (8a). I'll pause for the critics (incoming facebook abuse) to stop throwing rocks and reassuring themselves that their crag choices are better than mine. Lets be honest, the chances are slim anyway. Cook can't do a few of the moves and Louis can't even keep his feet on. But thats normal for Louis. He's well shit. I have recruited strongman Bojan the Serb for beta duty. Anyway, what other local 8a's are there to Leeds? I can feel my tendons snapping just thinking about the crimps on Zoo York. 

I had a funny exchange seeing Tim Palmer at Almscliff in the new year. 'Fancy seeing you here', 'I was just going to say the same thing. New year, new crag and all'. The cynics can piss off. I love climbing at Almscliff (there I admitted it). It doesn't matter that i've climbed so much of it, there's always something new to try and it just keeps getting better and better. And i'm willing to bet i'm not the only one who thinks this, plus i'm not even the worst eliminate lover. Stoney Middleton, that place is shit. (I've never actually been, just looks crap. Yes I have seen One Summer). I might extend the sentiment to Forest Rock thinking about it...

So if you would like to talk to me about the decline of this blog, I shall be in my usual place. Red trousers, an assortment of stolen pads. A grin on his face. Yes that boy needs therapy.  

[livingwithwads]

Stop thief!

Luke Tilley stole our last marrow! Under the pretence of wanting to come to our house party and be merry, he used the occasion to swap the king marrow for some inferior pale green vegetable he called the equivalent. Pah, it was barely half the size! Being pissed and wondering why no females had come to the party, the heist went unnoticed. That is until the next morning, when Luke actually told us he had stolen the marrow. It transpired that he had turned our prize marrow into vegan chocolate cake overnight, the damn hippy. Still unsure about whether it tastes delicious or stale (the constant Vegan paradox I imagine) we have forgiven him. Here today gone tomarrow I suppose. 

In other news, this blog has now infiltrated the UKB blogosphere massive. Hopefully I can stay, even though nothing interesting really happens and I only occasionally go climbing. Next time, the big 3 at Almscliff and yours truly having erectile wire dysfunction. They just won't go in...  

[livingwithwads]

Trad

Almscliff. Ghost written by Jerry Moffat. 

It seems the most illogical answer to everything. Not been on grit for ages, hey lets go to the same crag we always go to. Got that magical céüse fitness that you could make good use of at Malham or Kilnsey, nah cliff is where its at. So once again in the history of people who walk up hills, Sam and Ben make another entry. 

The first climb is easy, a gently curving crack that lets the hands slip deep inside. Barely our boots tied and Chimney Flake was done. For my next act of heroism i'll need a rope. We rack up under Great Western, a climb I have done before and distinctly remember being such a wuss that I couldn't commit to the 5 star finish. This time I made no mistake and dispatched the final crack with impossible ease! My god i'm good at climbing. 

Sam's go next and he set upon Big Greeny using Big Ron's yoyo tactics. The falls were alarmingly far but Sam remained unconcerned, every time climbing to a new high point. One final slap and he was standing at the top. Anyway, enough of Sam and back to ME! 

Mumbling something about my stomach, I shy away from my responsibilities on Big Greeny and slink over to where Z climb eliminate waits for me. Despite trying as hard as I could to convince the others that it finished up Z climb, they were having none of it and told me to keep moving right under a rather tough looking top section. Lucky boy that I am it had a big ol' jug right where you want it. Unfortunately I lost the on-sight mid route as Jacob (who was soloing next to me), quite rightfully pointed out that there was a crack here and I should probably follow it and put gear in it. 

Which brings us to our last climb of the day. Acetabulum. It looked straight forward enough from the ground and I had just seen Jacob do it. What I had not taken into account was Jacobs massive arm span and I soon found myself matching sweaty slopers, 'uh oh.., balls, more slopers, Jacob you're a c@&t'. But having not fallen off anything so far I certainly wasn't going to make a start and hauled myself over the top. Phew. Sam fell off because he's crap. He said something about the rope getting stuck in the crack and pulling him off but its all lies I swear. So ends another day at the Cliff that just keeps on giving, a beautiful setting sun faces us as we pack our things and walk off into the distance like cowboys. 

I am the best climber in the world!

(thats enough Jerry, ed)