All day no one has said a word to me. Not personally. Maybe you think I’m being conceited or selfish. Maybe you think I should say something, oh but I have. But there’s been no reply.
So my insecurity reigns. My depression and anxiety have claimed my day.
I bawl uncontrollably in the car on the way home because even the medicine doesn’t work. And I’m not worried about anyone seeing me because I know, they are all thinking about their day, their problems.
That’s ok. I don’t want them to be concerned with me. But maybe if the right person said something to me today. Maybe that would be enough to take the loneliness away.
But these bodies moving around me, they’re robots. Programmed to live day to day, with not a thing to say— to me.
I’d be selfish to expect one to break their code. To go outside of they’re programming.
And then they’re are the ones that have added me to the recycle bin. Except no one told me they put me there. I wonder if they question their decision, open the bin, hover over my file and consider a restore. Because sometimes I’m confused.
But today, I think I was permanently deleted.
