re: how to be a good friend to the forever single person... I think you're doing fine. Just listening is probably the only thing you can do anyway. Because you can't be the one to offer romantic validation, there is nothing you can say or do that will help. There is nothing wrong with ppl, it's just... how life goes. I'm nobody's type. It's just a fact by now (well into my 40's). Any opinion feels like trying to fix me or pity for me. I hate both. And ppl trying to fix me did send me in a very unhealthy mental spiral that was hard to undo. So, if I complain, I just need someone to empathize the best they can, and if I don't complain, just don't bring it up. I didn't, so don't go and make up a pity party from thin air pls. So... just be there, be kind, do what you do, it's good.
ofc there's nothing wrong w u!! or anyone else for that matter!! im so sorry anyone ever made u feel that way, that's terrible. this does help me, though, thank you. in recent years i've been unlearning that impulse to help w 'problems,' and now, when a friend vents to me, i default to like, 'do you wanna talk in a way that's like, problem-solving oriented, or you just wanna be in your feels?' and i just do whatever the person im talking to wants
i totally get that sometimes folks don't want 'solutions' (especially when nothing is Broken), and sometimes it's not like... a problem, but maybe a grievance or something that irritates at times, like literally anything else in life. sometimes it's helpful just to talk abt it, i get it
this was helpful! thank you! <3
