*big long sigh*
I’m staring at my laptop screen contemplating on wtf am i doing? LOL we’ve all had those moments. When i first started being on tumblr it was 2015 i loved being on here i found people who accepted and understood me well. I found one of my best friends on here (love you Laura) I didn’t know who i was at the time i was still figuring that out. I barely knew how to use tumblr back then i would just post random pics of the boys and other groups. As the years went by i started opening up and socializing more. I really started to change and become more happy with myself. This is when the boy came out with Love Yourself Her. It was the biggest message i needed to hear and it changed my perspective on everything. I learned what it is to love and to love myself something i needed to do a long time ago but i’m such a stubborn headass smh. Everyone on here started to call me a sweetie and say all these nice things and i love you guys so much you don’t understand. I would do my daily tess rambles and talk and interact with you guys more. But, as of this year it’s like i lost my spark a lot happened so many things came hitting me all at once. My parents were arrested a week before my graduation we almost lost everything bec me and my older brother cant hold everything on our backs (i don’t usually get personal on here i apologize i just like writing my thoughts out). Everything was so amazing till it came slapping me in the face. It felt like i was being squished into a dark box. I had to take care of my younger sister and i had to get a job and i had to get one quick. My poor older brother had to take charge of us even tho he has his own family to take care of. I was so hurt my parents were taken from me right in front of my whole family and istg i almost punched the cop kkskskdkdkd i kid you not my sis in law had to grab me. I can’t talk about it much but it was really hard for me...my sister and nephews were there when it all came down. I refused to go to graduation without my parents there i know it sounds selfish but i’m the first child in the family to graduate and i really wanted my parents there. But, my brother was able to get my mom out the day before and let me tell you i went to graduation with mascara everywhere. Although my dad wasn’t there i still appreciated everyone around me. These past couple of months have been very, very hard but honestly if you were to ask me if im okay i can tell you i am. I really am okay 3 months ago i wanted it all to go away all i ever did was cry and cry. But, i learned to suck it up and be there for my family. I felt my old self slipping away and i didn’t want that to happen yk? I didn’t feel like myself i didnt want to be on here or even speak to my friends. So what i’m saying is, is that life fucking sucks and i wish didnt have to be this way but at the same time we have to keep moving forward and keep walking with our heads up high. We will always come across obstacles but we’ll be just fine i know it. I know these past couple of months i’ve been off but i’m back and i’m okay (: Again, i met so many amazing ppl on here and i appreciate all the love you guys give me i really do. I wish i could teleport to where you guys are and give you a hug bec you deserve it!!! I love every one of you SO MUCH i’ll always be there for you no matter what. Remember i’m your local pooh bear and i’ll always cook up some honey for you because y’all have my heart hehe. I’m going to end this ramble here cause if not ill be here for days. *blows a million kisses*
