#alternative stims

[stimtoybox]

Hi! I just wanted to share what I just found to be a good skin picking replacement; slowly pealing one end of a bandaide up but not all the way off. It reminds me a lot of pealing of a sunburn, at least with this particular bainaide. It might not be super cost effective, but I've been using one the while day, switching sides and it's still on. Plus it kinda gives a pain sensation without actually doing anything (but I'd recommend it where there isn't a lot of hair).

Thank you so much for sharing with us, anon!

For this sort of thing, people might want to check out dollar shop band-aids or generic supermarket brands. (I’m thinking Aldi and places like that, where you can get a box of band-aids for $1 AUD.) If you need to replace the band-aid a couple of times a day, or this becomes a regular stim, this makes it a bit more affordable. I find them to be either not-sticky-enough compared to the real thing or too sticky and gunky, so it might take some trial and error to find the best type for you - if you’re sticking and peeling over and over, more stick might be better. Additionally, the Elastoplast-style (the ones that come in a long strip that you cut into the right size) tend to be gunkier and stickier than the pre-cut cheap plastic band-aids. I dislike the adhesive it leaves on my skin (Bad Texture, ye gods) but they should be more durable.

As someone who uses band-aids a lot for blisters on my feet (my feet don’t get on well with shoes and I tend to blister very badly - I look at my skin and it rubs or splits) I absolutely second the recommendation to use them somewhere with minimum hair.

I will note that the adhesive might rip away the top layers of your skin, so be sure to moisturise: I use a very cheap fragrance-free sorbolene lotion, $3 AUD for a 1 litre bottle from Chemist Warehouse that lasts a year, and it makes my hands softer than any fancy lotion. (I just pump it into mini travelling bottles I get from Daiso and keep one in every satchel, one on my desk, one on my bedside table, one on my dresser…) If you’re worried about this, I’d moisturise, wait a few minutes for the lotion to dry and then stick on the band-aid over newly-moisturised skin. It won’t stick quite as well, but it will minimise tearing.

(If your skin is very prone to dryness, I also recommend Alpha Keri’s rich cream. It’s also expensive, and I don’t like it on my hands because it leaves an oily residue, but it’s fragrance free, and it softens and moisturises foot callouses, which I’ve got as a result of all those blisters. My feet would be amazing if I had the executive function to remember to use the Alpha Keri daily.)

I’d also put the band-aid in a new spot each day. Watch for rashes, scaling, red marks, splitting, sores or any other difference in skin texture, just in case the adhesive is causing any irritation. I don’t think this is much more harmful to do than peeling tape off your skin, which is to say that all these things, like any other stimming, should be done thoughtfully with an eye to one’s personal circumstances and skin health.

Please don’t mistake my safety ramble, anon, for discouragement, because I think this is a pretty decent suggestion and well worth sharing.

- Mod K.A.

[autism-asks]

Are there any more subtle replacements for a tangle? Toys or just fidget things or diy things? It’s the only stim toy that’s actually stimulating to me but classmates have expressed annoyance towards stimtoys

You could wear a bracelet that you could take off and fidget with.  It wouldn’t move exactly like a tangle, but you can find a bead shape that will still let you twist it into different configurations.

Followers, any other suggestions?

-Liz

[autism-asks]

What should I do if my stims are “distracting” (though the only people bugged by them are the ableist jerks?)

I think it’s really unfair to assume that the only reason someone might be bugged by your stims is because they’re an ableist jerk.  You don’t know what sorts of difficulties other people might be dealing with.  For example, when I ask a student to stop whistling it is because the whistling is a huge Sensory No for me and makes it difficult for me to process the conversation I’m trying to have with another student on the other side of the room.  It is entirely possible that your stims are interacting poorly with someone else’s sensory processing issues or sensory overwhelm.  Also, even ableist jerks can have their own access needs, so just because someone has shown themself to be an ableist jerk in the past doesn’t mean that they’re not genuinely struggling because of your stims now.

Instead of assuming the only reason they could be bothered by your stims is ableism, ask them what about your stims is troubling them and try to find a solution.  For example, I had a conversation with the whistling student in which I acknowledged that he finds it helpful to make noise when working on something but told him the pitch of the whistling and the fact that it doesn’t stop are really difficult for me, so we agreed that he can instead hum or beat box during independent work.

If after talking to them it is clear that what they’re bothered by is literally just the fact that you’re acting “weird,” then it would just be because they’re an ableist jerk.  If you want to avoid a confrontation you could look for a more subtle way to stim, but if you feel up to it I’d advise just telling them point blank that the reason you’re not acting neurotypical is because you’re not neurotypical, and since your stims aren’t hurting anybody they just have to get over it.

-Liz

[autism-asks]

I share a room with my sis and she doesnt like the feeling of headphones in her ears so she doesn't wear them but that means that I have to hear all of her music and videos out loud which I hate b/c I am sensitive to sound. She turns it down sometimes if I ask but my problem is the number of sounds happening at once not the volume. She also gets annoyed when I stim because she doesn't like repetitive noises even when it's quiet. Do you have any advice for how to handle this without seeming mean?

It sounds like you and your sister are dealing with conflicting sensory needs, which can be really hard to navigate.

If possible, try to find a way to have a separate space to hang out in when you’re doing things besides sleeping.  When my sister and I shared a room I would spend a lot of time outside, in the basement, or in our walk-in closet.  That way she could enjoy her music without it bothering me, and I could stim without it bothering her.

If that’s not possible, maybe you could get some noise-cancelling headphones to block out her music, or listen to something you like in headphones to provide better sensory input that you can control.  You could also try talking to her about what it is about headphones that bothers her and try looking for something she’d be more comfortable with (such as an over the ear option rather than an in the ear option).

For the stimming issue, try talking to her about what sorts of noises bother her and what she might be more able to tolerate.  For example, my sister can’t stand chewing noises, so my oral stims were really difficult for her to cope with, but she’s more okay with the sound of me playing with my jewelry.  It’s possible that if you understood your sister’s sensory difficulties a bit more thoroughly you could find ways to stim that she’d be okay with.

You said she doesn’t like repetitive noises “even when it’s quiet,” but it’s also possible that the quiet actually makes it worse because with so little else going on she can’t help but focus on it.  If you can find music you both like listening to, then maybe playing some music while you stim would make things easier on her.

Followers, any other suggestions?

-Liz

[autism-asks]

Recently I had a buzz cut and thanks to that I feel oh so relieved in every way- sensory way, gender issues and executive dysfunction related to hair. But by cutting them that short (like a cm long) I can’t stim like I do normally, I tend to grab my hair at the scalp and pull when something bad happens and it’s the only stim I can do in public as I can pretend to hold my head etc. Do you have any replacement stim idea ? Thanks !

Tugging on your earlobe might be a viable substitute because it’s a similar type of motion and might be perceived as just a variation on holding your head.

Followers, any other ideas?

-Liz

I have the same problem anon! I used to pull on my hair to calm down but now I shave my head to 1/8” so that doesn’t work so well.

Typically, I rub my hands over my head (sometimes with a lot of pressure) as a replacement but that’s a bit more odd looking. I just tried the earlobe thing and it felt so good. I think I just found a new stim! (Thanks Liz!)

-Sabrina

[autism-asks]

Ok, so, I tried pacing literally EVERYWHERE! But somehow my mom always finds out and she's like "No you can't pace because it's a mild annoyance to me", even if I'm like... In the basement where no one can see me or hear my footsteps. I don't know what to do because I NEED to pace because stimming, and I need help? Like.... auurgh can I just PACE?!! No?? Why not???? "it's annoying" doesn't work as an answer anymore! Give me an ACTUAL REASON.

Hi Anon.

It sounds like “it’s annoying” might be your mom’s way of saying that this is a Sensory No for her (is she maybe hypersensitive to sound if she’s still hearing you pace when nobody else can?).  If that’s the case, you and your mom have conflicting needs here and the solution is to try to find a way to balance them.

A few solutions that might allow you to still pace while respecting your mom’s need for quiet include: wear thick socks to muffle the noise, go outside, or do your pacing while your mom isn’t home.

If your mom is more okay with music than she is with pacing, you could also try playing music when you pace in the basement so that it covers up the sound of pacing.

Alternatively, you could try looking for alternative stims that don’t bother her so much.  Maybe standing on tiptoe repeatedly could be similarly stimmy while also being quieter for your mom.

Followers, any other suggestions?

-Liz

[autism-asks]

I chew gum as a stim, and would it be a good idea to get some sort of necklace (Like the ones at Stimtastic) as an alternative for when I run out of gum? (I usually end up chewing on my shirt collar if I run out gum but it's like "no i can't do that these are my nice sensory-friendly shirts!! D:")

A chewable necklace feels very different from either gum or a shirt collar, but it is a great thing to have so you have something to safely chew on without ruining your shirts.  I’d definitely recommend trying it.

When deciding which one to buy, it’s a good idea to read product reviews for things like durability and softness - some chewable necklaces are harder than others, and harder ones tend to last longer but also might be too tough for what you’re looking for depending on how hard you like to chew.  Also, look for a shape that seems like it would feel good in your mouth.

Good luck!

-Liz

[autism-asks]

hey, i know it's bad but i really need to stop stimming at school because it's creeping my schoolmates out (i tend to grunt or squeal and jump around when im happy) what should i do/how can i do this

If you try to stop stimming altogether, you are probably going to stress yourself out and have a harder time dealing with school.  I’d recommend that instead of trying to stop stimming, you instead look into alternative stims.

If you feel like you need to do a whole-body stim when happy, you can try out things that look a bit more dance-like than just jumping.  When I was in high school, I would sometimes do a “happy dance” when excited about something, and my friends were generally okay with that (you could even announce “Happy dance!” before you start so people understand why you’re moving).

If you think you’d be okay with a stim that doesn’t engage your whole body, you could try things like hand flapping or foot tapping, or you could carry around a small stim toy to play with.  My current ones are a bead bracelet that is nice for taking off and twisting, and my chewy necklace which spins nicely on its cord when I’m not chewing it.

If you need a vocal stim, you could try humming or singing as these things are often less surprising than grunting or squealing and thus less likely to creep people out.

At times when you feel like you absolutely need to jump or squeal, you could also ask to use the bathroom so that you can go somewhere private to stim without your classmates seeing.

Followers, does anyone have any other suggestions?

-Liz