I'm an avoidant person and it infuriates me when people call me avoidant in the sense that I prohibit myself from giving and receiving love. Sure it's true in a sense but that's not the whole story.
The walls I have as an avoidant person aren't some walls of brick or steel. They're walls of my own skin and flesh to protect myself from the outside world but they feel everything. Just because I'm avoidant doesn't mean I'm not sensitive to what's going on. It just means I get overwhelmed quickly by feelings and have to retreat to process because I was raised in a society where as a boy growing up my parents didn't feel that I should express feelings of discomfort especially publically. I understand it's my responsibility but don't label me avoidant in a way where you think you might know me.
And frankly fuck you, you don't have to accept or love me. That's my job and I'm trying to do that. It's okay for me to accept my avoidant behaviour and not judge myself for it especially when I work so hard to feel like I deserve to receive love and reciprocate it. That's the whole fucking reason why Im still alive because of that sliver of hope that one day I might be able to find and accept the love I need in this world while giving/sharing it as well.
"AVOIDANT" PEOPLE OFTEN TIMES STILL FEEL THE WHOLE SPECTRUM OF EMOTIONS REGARDLESS OF WHAT THEY SAY!! 😡💢🗯️
