For all I know now, I’m so fucked up. This is so fucked up. It’s the euphoric feeling whenever our eyes meet that makes me more terrified. I want to hold his hand, kiss his lips and push my body to his. Everything about him makes my soul giddy. “What happened?”, I ask myself every time. What happened with guarding your heart so hard? He makes me happy, i guess, more than happy. He is my happy pill. But one thing that keeps messing my mind is the reality that he is not mine and will never be. The thought of it makes me sad. The thought of it makes me nauseous and that’s the reason why I am holding myself back. I feel sorry for myself for wanting something I can’t have. Its just that getting out of contact with reality is so easy but going back to it hurts like hell.
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