#amaquclin

[xunreinx]

@rcliicta

[xunreinx]

- @inmutant's been invited to the garden...

She'd tried to be patient, really she had, staring down at the communicator she'd had set on the counter while she talked. There wasn't any need to be this difficult, it had to be her father's doing. Or maybe her aunt. Resting her arm atop Lockjaw's head, Crystal lightly scratched behind his ear as he whimpered.

Was it because she'd asked that Luna make sure to pack proper clothes? Rocking as Lockjaw nudged her side, Crystal took a deep breath in through her nose before letting it out slowly. She could remain calm, she would not yell at the ungrateful child who constantly whined and... Well there was no other word for it, bitched, about coming home to her people.

"Luna, you are coming home, it's not up for debate.'

Hearing the tone, that imperious note ringing through, she fought against the flinch she could feel. It was one of the things she'd been told she had to work on, to be better about, but it just came so naturally. She was meant to sound like that, she was a royal. And Luna was too though she didn't act like it.

"I'll send Lockjaw in a few hours, give you time to pack. He's missed you...'

[xunreinx]

@inmutant sent a raven: “Out of your powers, which element is your favourite to use?” (To Crystal from baby Luna).

       That  was  an  unexpected  question,  though  given  the  fact  her  child  had  gotten  to  the  inquisitive  stage  of  her  development  it  was  inevitable  that  it  be  her  turn.  The  others  had  been  thrilled  that  she  showed  such  a  sharp  intellect  and  insatiable  hunger  to  know  things.  But  there  were  things  that  Crystal  didn't  want  her  to  know,  or  ask  about. 

"That  would  depend  on  the  day,  precious  crescent.' 

       Today  it  was  earth,  something  steady  to  cling  to,  shield  herself  with.  Another  fight  with  Pietro  over  the  use  of  Terrigen  Mist  when  she  was  sure  that  it  would  cause  irreparable  harm  to  the  child.  She  could  see  her  mother  in  the  curve  of  the  girl's  mouth,  hear  her  in  the  way  she  laughed,  but  that  was  no  guarantee  that  other  necessary  genetic  markers  had  made  it  through  the  gauntlet  of  her  mixed  bloodlines.  Leaning  over  to  pick  the  small  body  up  to  set  on  her  thigh,  she  turned  her  attention  back  to  the  data  pad  and  away  from  those  eyes  that  always  seemed  to  be  staring  into  her.  Seeking  something  that  Crystal  could  not  give,  and  it  gave  her  an  uncomfortable  feeling  of  self  loathing  she  despised.

"Which  do  you  like  best,  little  one?' 

[xunreinx]

crystal is absolutely the woman that thought that having a baby would help heal the wound from losing her parents at such a young age. that by becoming a mother it would give her the foot up in the healing process because it would force her into a responsibility that would place plaster over the aching hole.

it did not, she didn't hate her child but indifference is arguably worse. especially as luna (@inmutant) is a powerful empath that could feel the lack of genuine affection behind the smiles and kisses that crystal gave her. the only time crystal felt actual protective instinct was when pietro (@rcliicta) insisted that she argue for their daughter to be put in the terrigen mist in hopes that despite the fact she seemed normal the terrigenesis process would still occur.

one would think that luna not only surviving but unlocking her empathic powers would have at least given them common ground. they of course would be wrong, it was not until luna became a person in her own right that crystal realized her mistake in allowing the nannies and pietro's side of the family to be the ones raising her. that she should have tried harder.

had anyone been paying attention, they would have clocked the post partum and might have been able to change the outcome, but instead she was mocked and berated for her selfish princess behaviour. told that she should be a better mom and stop sulking because she and pietro didn't work out. that she was a terrible person for cheating on her husband with the realtor. but hindsight is, as always, 2o/2o

[xunreinx]

@medusx sent a raven: “words can be like knives. they can cut you open” (for my annoying lil sister?)

"You  think  I  don't  know  that?' 

       They'd  been  used  often  enough  to  try  and  cut  her  to  the  quick.  To  carve  away  the  pieces  people  didn't  like  about  her,  hands  clenching  into  fists  as  she  felt  a  breeze  pass  over  her  forearms.  Take  a  breath,  calm  yourself,  you  do  not  lose  control  of  yourself  or  your  temper.  She  could  still  feel  the  irritation  like  the  aftershock  of  an  earthquake  under  her  skin,  hiding  the  clenched  fists  from  her  sister's  gaze.  Perhaps  she  shouldn't  have  snapped  like  she  had,  maybe  listened  and  fully  processed  things  before  dismissing  the  concern. 

       And  yet…  Why  was  no  one  ever  on  her  side  of  things,  forever  telling  her  how  she  could  have  handled  it  better?  She  was  doing  her  best!  She  was  trying,  after  years  of  acting  as  though  it  was  a  problem  that  could,  and  would,  resolve  itself.  Now  she  was  dealing  with  a  snarl  that  was  near  impossible  to  untangle  without  assistance  and  no  one  wanted  to.  Had  she  burned  those  bridges  biting  the  hands  that  had  been  held  out?  Maybe.  But  it  had  been  a  very  stressful-  …..  Damn.

“Can  you  be  less  cryptic  and  actually  help?'  Her  voice  is  quieter,  hard  to  speak  around  the  pride  she  was  choking  on  currently.  ”…  Please.'

[xunreinx]

"They don't understand.' Crystal insisted, forehead resting against Lockjaw's letting him slowly take her weight as she leaned on him. "I don't... I don't understand her.'

Nodding as the large dog grumbled, Crystal relaxed as he took her full weight, draped dramatically against his face as her arm draped over the back of his head.

"When she was small she was so... needy, constantly trying to get underfoot. And... I may have handled that poorly, at least that's what I've been told.'

She knew, even as she'd struggled to ignore each tear, every lost look. The connection just hadn't been there, she'd been told over and over that her maternal instincts were slow, that they'd develop and it would be easier. They hadn't and it never did. She'd at least learned not to resent the interruptions of the child who just wanted her mother, but it had taken time. Time that had only made everything worse.

"I can see me when I look at her now. Was that the problem then? Seeing the little girl that wanted her parents, wanted to be happy, and couldn't? Did I force that on her out of some sort of subconscious spite?' A soft squeak escaped her as Lockjaw collapsed suddenly, rolling off his throat to lay over his ribs as they rose and fell. "I did think we'd have a happy family once, and then she was just... normal. Until she wasn't because Pietro- Ugh... It would have been so easy to let things go, never see him again, but now there's Luna.'

Which was not her fault, feeling the tangled ball of frustration in her chest coiling and making it hard to breathe.

"I do love her, but I know it's not the way she wants. She wants a mom, and I'm... I'm just not built for it.' A grunt made her side eye her faithful companion. "A princess, a sister, an inhuman.'

A mirthless chuckle escaped her.

"Inhuman indeed. Even those muck crawling backwards creatures can love their young.' She practically choked on the self loathing that attempted to strangle her before pushing it down. "I am proud of who she became, even with what everyone calls my neglect. Too kind for court politics, but I suppose that could be its own strength in certain negotiations. I'll talk to my sister and see if we can have her try being a diplomat, to ease her into things. We can go together, maybe... I don't know, maybe those instinct people keep telling me I'm meant to have can be forced to grow.'

@inmutant sent a raven: “eavesdrop” for Crystal! /x\