#amaurochalinus

[amaurochalinus]

Hydrochoerus hydrochaeris, mostly known by the names of Carpincho and Capibara.

El Palmar, Entre Ríos, Argentina. 2021.

Photo by @amaurochalinus.

[amaurochalinus]

First time i saw a lotus flower. At least, in this life.

Photo by me (ɔ).

[amaurochalinus]

Un típico paisaje de la campaña rioplatense. / Pampa's typical landscape. 2020.

[amaurochalinus]

No extraño la gente. Pero vaya que extraño catalogar estas bellezas. / I miss the books of my previous librarian job.

Photo by me (ɔ).

[amaurochalinus]

My story struggling with OCD (For those who need it, There is HOPE <3 ) - PART Three

(Continuing from Part Two)

First, as the exposure treatment progressed, the thoughts started to weaken in their insidiousness. My need to confess any past mystakes started to slowly vanish, always approaching my pain with time and compassion.

Then, one day, i was able to get out of bed again. It did take a huge lot of effort. I think, in my recovery path, getting out of bed was the hardest thing to do. After the third time, it began to get easier. With a schedule at first, then slowly flexibilizing my routine, things started to feel enjoyable again. In some time, you stop caring about the thoughts, and you just want to do something exciting again. Something to feel alive. May be you can kiss your significant other with deep love without feeling corrupt, play a videogame without feeling joy like an undeserving gift, or just stare at the birds in your garden or park.

Medication helped me a lot. I was prescribed, at first, Sertraline and Risperidone. Then only Sertraline, 50 mg who increased gradually until 200 mg (im still in that level, since some months ago, and because it was my ideal dose). It should be clear for people with prescribed meds, none medication would solve your mental health issues by itself. A simple reading about mental disorders tells you that mental disorders are both of psychological and biological origin. Nothing in this existence works by itself. These are interconected factors.

I can say that medication and cognitive therapy, both, helped me equally in overcoming my OCD, diagnosed at this point obviously. You learn to cope, to behave in peace in presence of umconfortable ideas or thoughts. In your path, you may encounter even new views of seeing life. I found buddhist and other eastern philosophies who introduced me to a path of liberation, also. Being a former strict atheist, i wasn't easy, but with your heart open and full of compassion, for others and for yourself, you can do it.

If you reach this point reading this, know that you can talk to me if you need it. Im open to give my loving support. I believe in you, you can do it. You are not alone, your ocd is not unique, your toughts are not particularly real. We all have dirt in the backyard, of all kinds. But we are not them. We are what we decide to be.

Hugs and kisses for everyone who needs them.

J. M.

[amaurochalinus]

¿Qué es un lugar? ¿Un espacio?

Saqué esta foto en un partido costero bonaerense. Uno de esos partidos que atraen un turismo más popular, con menos edificios y más casitas sencillas en alquiler. Si recuerdo bien, era invierno. Es extraña la sensación que genera ver algo así, como esto. Que parece un bunker costero, pero al mismo tiempo viene a la mente lo inapropiado que sería algo así en un lugar así.

Empecé a pensar, quién lo habrá habitado, con qué fin, y el por qué esta sensación de abandono me resulta tan romántica. Encontré un par de términos que se aproximan a definirla: Kenopsia y Saudade. Hasta cierto punto, son distintas facetas de la nostalgia. Nostalgia hacia algo vivido o no, percibido o imaginado.

Cuando veo cosas como este vestigio humano, y reflexiono con el espacio que ocupan, siento que medito y de alguna manera, creo una conexión. En los espacios de desolación y dejadez, sentirse cerca del dharmakāya es iluminador.

Photo by me (ɔ).

[amaurochalinus]

El Palmar, Entre Ríos, Argentina. 2021.

Photo by me (ɔ).

[amaurochalinus]

I am free to care about animals as i care about some people. If you don't like it, it's your problem.

The "Human over all" ethics are shit.