#ambers.txt

[momentsofamber]

if you're following me I want you to match my freak.

we gotta be as Freaky and Weird as possible in every font of the rainbow if we're all gonna get through this together. 💖

[momentsofamber]

whenever I see a blog that posts tcoaal content in the main tags but then I open the blog and their pinned post says something like 'I'm proship but I don't ship or support incest' I swear I take psychic damage.

like friend, you played the game the internet has literally labelled The Incest Game(tm).

and this is nothing against people who ship oc x canon, or prefer Andrew x Julia or Ashley x Julia, or people who selfship with the sibs, or anything like that. having a shipping preference is not the same thing as blatantly ignoring the canon incest or invalidating other fans.

but if you 'don't support incest' I am absolutely baffled as to what made you want to play The Incest Game(tm) in the first place, and also what made you think interacting with the fandom would help you avoid said fictional incest content ???

[momentsofamber]

I started new anxiety meds a couple days ago and I'm finally starting to come back out of my shell. 🥹

Last night I baked m&m cookies for my partner and our roommate and they were good and I was so proud of myself because this is the first time I have baked in years. I put mini m&m's inside the dough and large ones on top, and I hand placed all the large ones because I wanted every single cookie to have an m&m of each color on it. (ocd and autistic lmao)

m&m cookies were my late mom's specialty when I was little because she was legally blind and cooking/baking was a lot of effort for her, but every year she'd make m&m cookies for me to take to school on my birthday and share with my peers.

Under the cut are the leftover cookies in one of my childhood m&m tins. 🍪💖

[momentsofamber]

so the other day my partner and I were talking about genetics ( science is his static SpIn ) and how the odds of their parents eyes in tcoaal would determine the kids' odds of having which color if their mother's green was a mutation ( based on how often their mom's shade changes between scenes, we decided it was like tcoaal hazel ) and if their father's pink was a dominant gene ( like brown irl ) and just looking at the odds data, it made me realize ... I kinda want to do multiple universes?

this is just some spitballing, but stay with me for a moment.

Role-Reversal: ( pink Andrew, green Ashley )

Andrew never outgrows the name Andy; his baby sister was the first person to call him that and that was that, that's his name forever.

Ashley goes by Lye as an adult; she went by Leyley as a child and Lye later became a nickname from it.

( rando: what's Lye short for? Lye: Leyley. rando: ... what? No, really. Lye: Reaaally ... Andy, nonchalantly: It's Ash-ley. Lye: -glaaare- Who cares what it used to be short for, it's just Lye now, okay? )

( Andy: 'Andy and Ashley' sounds so much better for a duo. You have to agree with me, right? Lye, flatly amused: ... You mean you don't like the sound of 'Andrew and Lye'? Andy, eyetwitch but pointedly ignoring that: So as I was saying -- )

These two will follow the canon story(ies) with everything as mirrored as it can be.

yandere twins: ( pink Andrew, pink Ashley )

not actually twins. but kind of.

they were born on the same day two years apart and share the same shade of pink eyes.

both have clinical bpd ( Andy w/ hpd traits, Leyley w/ aspd traits ) and thus suffer from and frequently demonstrate symptoms of obsessive and/or lovesick tendencies.

they've been sexually involved with each other since Andy hit puberty. of course Andy hits it first, being two years older, but they don't have intercourse until Leyley hits puberty too. Andy says their "real first time" 'won't be as special for Leyley if her body isn't ready for such a mature experience too'. it's torture for him to watch and wait for his sister to blossom, and Leyley repeatedly insists that 'no, she's ready NOW though!!' … but it does end up being well-worth the wait for both of them.

violence is flirting for these two.

'Do you know how badly I wanna kill you right now? Just so that I'll be the very last thing you'll ever see and feel.' is romantic.

they continue to use Andy and Leyley as names into adulthood no matter how often they get told it's childish or whatever.

kuudere twins: ( green Andrew, green Ashley )

same premise as above but the not-twins share green eyes. ( however, there is a high chance I will give them different shades due to their mother's eye color being a mutation. )

Andrew goes by Drew as an adult because he says Andy is 'too childish' now.

Ashley legally changes her name to Lillian as an adult so that she can go by Lily for short because it's close to Leyley and 'she doesn't feel like an Ashley and she never did'.

both Drew and Lily respect each other's name preferences and only use Andy and Leyley to refer to themselves or each other in the past.

their mother continues to call Lily 'Ashley' out of spite to the day that she dies because 'I named you, so that's what I'm calling you'.

these two are better at communicating their attachment and feelings for each other through things like physical touch and acts of service.

they both definitely have alexithymia.

they often don't quite know how to say things with words so they try to show things instead. ( sometimes they jokingly call their ability to communicate without words a twin bond. )

[momentsofamber]

I ... might be finally letting my inner-child let her fear of being cringe out.

I'm working on a role-swap AU for TCOAAL ( pink Andy, green Ashley ) which will include swapping the roles of their parents ( yellow Dad, green Mom ) accounting for some of the differences in their upbringing. For the most part their core personality traits will remain similar, but their goals and motivations for making the choices they make will shift. I already have a few Ideas floating around in my head on the family's backstory pre-game.

For now I'm probs gonna go replay the game so I can get a refresher on the canon story and also a feel for how I want things to run mirror world parallel to it. ( I blame this on the fact I've been consuming a lot of S.ilent H.ill content lately with its Real World/Other World/Nightmare World all running parallel to each other. )

I leave you with this edgy concept edit in the meantime.

[momentsofamber]

If a tumblr blog has been inactive for 10+ years it's free real estate for me to open their archive and reblog their gifs with proship tags.

[momentsofamber]

edit for anyone who comes across this post out of context: my original sarcastic attitude in this post was completely uncalled for, I have since apologized to rainboows and admitted they were indeed correct, that the mother's eye color varies in ambiance by scenes and only going off her sprite was ignorant of me.

[momentsofamber]

Y'ALL.

Despite getting like four hours of sleep I just played the most thought-provoking freebie indie visual novel with a simple gothic style to it

-- and last night I played an indie freebie platform with a gorgeous gothic art style --

and since tcoaal is my current hyperfixation ( primary content on my blog, and the reason a lot of folks are here atm ) I thought that as I'm going through my Steam games I've been hoarding forever ( especially freebies ), I'm going to make a collection of games with a similar feel or style and compile a recommendations list here on my blog.

I feel that not only would that be good exposure for those indie developers, but it would also give me the ability to give other people an idea of warnings and whatnot before they click into the game. ( I do not have an major triggers and can play dark fictional content safely without any threat to my mental health. )

Would people like that? A rec list of gothic style games ( some free, some paid ) with content warnings ( but no detailed plot spoilers ) so that people like me who are perhaps impatiently waiting for tcoaal updates can find some similar content or themes in other games in the meantime?

These games may not even fall into the proship or problematic(tm) category but I think it would be nice to share more of what seems to be a niche interest in dark or edgy content for a lot of us, and right now I have the time and means to explore some options available to me.

I'm also open to suggestions if anyone wants to add them! Leave a comment on this post or in the tags if you reblog, send an ask, DM me - whatever makes you most comfortable and I'll check the game out!