Aug 12, 2020
Don’t let not John get to you. We’re here for you Noelle- Adam
I’m Just Doing What I Have To Do At This Point, Regardless Of How Scared I Am Currently.
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from Italy
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Saudi Arabia
Don’t let not John get to you. We’re here for you Noelle- Adam
I’m Just Doing What I Have To Do At This Point, Regardless Of How Scared I Am Currently.
Hey noelle, how are you feeling? -Adam
I’m just waiting until they set me back to how I was before the combine took me. A lot of things have happened recently that I don’t want to remember.
When the guy you're dating likes your best guy friend more
Ambiguous Adam, Part 5
Summer, 2013
I was traveling a lot last summer, as was Adam, and our meetups became fewer and farther between. While we had pretty awesome chemistry when we were alone, his whole routine of ignoring me during the workday was getting old. One Friday afternoon, Tommy stopped by to hang out with me while I finished work before we hit up happy hour. Adam had been giving me the cold shoulder, but as soon as he saw Tommy, he came over and gave him a big hug, "dude, how's it going? Great to see you again!" and commenced bro-ing out with my buddy. I was pissed at Adam, but vowed to ignore him right back and went to a lovely, drunk happy hour with Tommy, Mandy and another friend, Greg, at Marketbar on the Embarcadero.
Later that night, after I was drunk and decided Sex > Making a Point, I told Adam that he needed to cut out the silent treatment. I was tired of him ignoring me at work and explained that a friendly smile would go a long way. He agreed and I hoped things would change.
I got to work on Monday, and was surprised to see that Adam's office was entirely cleared out. He didn't mention anything to me that Friday about moving offices and I didn't bother reaching out to him to ask what happened. I found out later through the office grapevine that his position had been eliminated. Whoops.
A few weeks later, Mandy, Tommy & I were at Hardly Strictly, discussing how I manage to date the worst people. We were questioning Adam's sexuality and chatting about how terrible he was to me, when, out of no where, he walked by our blanket. He was oblivious to our conversation, but the timing, particularly in my pot-induced haze, was amazing.
Returning to the Scene of the Crime: Bootie SF Version
Ambiguous Adam, Part 4
June, 2013
A couple weeks later, M and I decided that we needed to go back to Bootie SF, coordinated with our friends and marked June 29, 2013 as the date to go. A large crew came out, and I actually remember having an amazing time. Tommy got everyone RBV’s when we arrived - true to our previous visit together - and we set out to dancing with our huge group. The night was tons of fun, and I totally lost track of time. I eventually texted Adam, something I had been planning on doing earlier but never got around to it. I was drunk but not a disaster (I stuck to all of my rules, mostly beer, no shots, ate dinner first), and sent a fairly coherent text inviting him to join us. He countered by inviting me over for later, and a few hours later when we had lost most of our friends, Mandy, Tommy and I decided to leave. We left Tommy in the pizza line (whoops) and I promised to pay for M's Uber home if she didn't mind detouring to the Mission. When we arrived at Adam's, I made the Uber driver wait until I was actually before leaving (“I need to make sure he hasn’t passed out... It’s a really sensitive subject.”) A bunch of his gay friends were there after partying in the Castro, so I drank a little bit more with them, danced a little bit, complimented their awesome hot pink tees (God I love gay men!) until they left.
We started making out, and that's when things started to get a little weird.
-The first thing he said to once everyone left was “I couldn’t wait for everyone else to leave because you’re look so hot.” He also complimented me several times on my choice in underwear, particularly my rainbow bra (it was Pride weekend)
-We started having sex and he really quickly and enthusiastically pulled out lube, even once I made it extremely clear there would be no buttsex
-During our pillow talk after, he admitted that he’s made out with guys. On one hand, I feel like I should just be really chill about it. I live in SF, it’s fucking Pride weekend, I’m all for being sexually open and open-minded in general, but it’s a little weird. He’s likes me, and likes having sex with me so it shouldn’t matter, right?
So while my fling with Adam started as ambiguous as to what was actually going on, it was becoming clearly that Adam's sexuality was also pretty ambiguous.
Long days, long nights and a lot of booze
June, 2013
Ambiguous Adam Part 3
When I had left my apartment for Union Street Fest 2013, I had anticipated a fun drunk afternoon, seeing where the day would lead me, with the full expectation that I would be back in my apartment before the sunset. I left an extra layer at home, knowing that high 70s temperatures and bright sun would keep me warm well through the early evening, certainly through the 5 pm end time of the afternoon party I was attending. Unbeknownst to me, it would be a full 24 hours before I would step into my apartment again and that my decision to eat a garlicy sandwich en route to Mandy’s and bring my toothbrush so I could freshen up pre-party would prove to be one with exponentially more benefits that I initially intended.
My day had begun a few hours before, at 6:45 when I woke up for a long run. 15 miles later, I was sweaty, salty, and hungry, but quickly showered and prepped for an afternoon outdoor Union Street Festival party. For a $20 donation to charity (my charity, might I add), I was afforded all of the Sangria, keg beer, mixed drinks and Air I could stomach. Apparently it’s a lot and by early evening, I was stumbling to Roam Burger with 4 friends. We came back to the party, danced with a girl who had accent toes(!) and I was drunkenly inviting Adam to stop by. He did, with friends B [I can't remember her name] and C, his gay bff, in tow. As as the sun set, and the party wound down, my friend Tommy offered his rooftop hot tub as a next stop. Mandy & Elle departed, and I went with new-found friends to drink more while they ate, grab bathing suits and beer and relocate to SOMA.
The crew of 5 basked in the hot tub, then as we relaxed inside at Tommy’s, decided we should make the few-block trek to Bootie SF. I declined, noting that I had been drinking for nearly 12 hours at that point, but was promised RBV if I choose to attend. So I did. We arrived at Bootie at 12:30, and true to her promise, B handed me a drink. I danced a lot, and eventually Adam and I were making out while B and Tommy made out. C left us to hook up with someone from Tinder, then shortly after, Adam and I went back to his apartment. I broke my two months of self-imposed celibacy and relished in how sweet he was.
Somehow, despite my marathon running followed by marathon drinking sessions, felt fine the next day. On my way home, I decided to hit up Philz and the Civic Center Farmer’s Market on the way home. I was still in my sundress and probably smelled terrible, but I was on the 49 so I’m sure it was imperceptible. A full 24 hours after I left my apartment in a light sundress with no extra layer, I returned. Things were heating up with Adam just in time for the temperatures to cool off in SF.
Ambiguous Adam Gets a Second Shot
Late May, 2013
Ambiguous Adam, Part 2
The day after our first date, Adam headed out of town for work. I welcomed the reprieve from awkward office situations, and happily returned to my normal routine of BB cream, a swipe of mascara and dry-shampooed hair. We texted while he was gone, however, and made plans for Sunday evening dinner.
We met at his apartment on the Mission/Castro border and we walked to Monk's Kettle. After several drinks and another split check, I accompanied back to his apartment with the intention of calling it a night. He invited me up to watch Arrested Development Season 4, and since that's what my night at home would have consisted of anyway, decided to join. I had made a terrible mistake.
We curled up on the couch together and before the narrator had said "It's Arrested Development," Adam was kissing me, resolving the ambiguity around whether or not he was just in it to be just friends. (I would eventually discover that Adam had other ambiguous traits, but that's for a later post...)
Things were getting pretty heated and I had to interrupt. "Um, we're gonna see each other in the office in 10 hours, can we address that?"
"Yeah, it's cool. I don't mix work and pleasure," he assured me. Unkempt and tired, I resisted his request for more than making out, and as I Ubered home, wondered how work would be the next day.
I ran into Adam outside the office as he was coming back from getting coffee. We toasted our large Peet's cups, and walked in together. It was the last time that day he would acknowledge me.
At this point, I should have called off the whole thing. The guy barely looked at me in person, had always let me pay for half, and was both short and not a baseball fan. However, I didn't and would eventually come to regret that decision.
That time I thought it was a good idea to date someone from the office
May 2013
Ambiguous Adam, Part 1
When I ended up texting Adam, a cute guy from my office, Bay to Breakers Sunday night as I laid in bed nursing hangover (and, incidentally watching The Hangover... well played TBS), I didn’t think much about potential consequences. When I got to work Monday morning, I realized that drunk texting a cute co-worker over the weekend makes for a potentially awkward beginning of the week, especially when he decided to ignore me. I chalked the flirty text exchange up to B2B intoxication, so I was pretty surprised to get a text from him Monday night asking me out for drinks.
I freaked out about the situation. Normally I have all day to compose myself before heading out to meet my date, but I would have to see and potentially interact with him at work. I was unable to shake the awkwardness the next day, especially when I left to get coffee with my best work friend and she giggled as we passed his office. He continued to ignore me, and I questioned how well the date would go.
He met me at my apartment and we walked down to Polk for drinks. After two rounds of cider and sweet potato fries at Upcider, I politely asked if he wanted to split the bill. He happily took me up on my offer and I really should have taken that sign as a big red flag right then and there. Instead, I let him walk me home and linger at my doorstep. Without a kiss, and the acceptance of splitting the bill, I started to think that maybe Ambiguous Adam was just in it to be friends.