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Did I ever tell you about the time I chartered a private jet?

-- No? Because I totally did. As we watched my grandmother slowly get worse, my mother, inspired by my aunt, to look into getting an air ambulance and fly my grandmother over where she can receive affordable healthcare in her home land of Venezuela. (Dont know what Im talking about? You can read the first part here.) And so, I spent the last weekend (17th-19th) doing research on private air travel. So sit down, grab something to drink and hit the jump.

Of course, I begin my obscure quest where any great adventurer begins. Since there were no taverns around I went with the next best thing: Google. I type in "Air Ambulance" and immediately open the first three websites that are on Googles greyed-out featured link area thing. Obviously the first things I do is that I call to get price estimates on all three of these places. And unlike a certain medical facility, they actually knew how much they would be charging for their services.

The average price for a private air ambulance is about $50,000. Luckily, I continued to call different areas until I found the best price I could: a flight a little over $36,000. This price came from a company known as American Jets, who have apparently been doing this for quite some time. Dont let their underwhelming website fool you, these guys are the epitome of professionalism. After my first phone call with them they immediately had my respect. After a few rings I was picked up by the human being, not some sort of automated phone service. The gentleman on the other line quickly took down my information, the information of my grandmother and gave me a comprehensive quote. We then discussed flight information and within a few days, payment was sent and everything was good! It was incredibly easy. I had asked the guy who he was, and he told me that he was the Vice-President of the entire company.

We left on a small air field. We met our pilots and on-board medical crew. One of the nurses was able to put in an IV into my grandmother on his first try. Why am I suddendly mentioning this? Well this nurse, was able to do it outside, in the hot summer sun, with my grandmother still in the car and she felt no pain. At the Mayo Clinic, if often took nurses multiple tries, often bruising my grandmothers arms, in a completely controlled medical environment. After the initial set up, they loaded her up on a stretcher on put her on the plane first. The picture below is my care parked next to our ride over to Caracas. Thanks iPhone Camera!

Our first flight was to Florida, where we would have to refuel and we could take a break. While it was cramped, my grandma flew comfortably as the two air-medics kept a close eye on her and treated her very well. The flight itself was awesome. No check-in, no security check, and we were not held accountable for things we had on our person. I brought an extra huge bottle of water just for some petty self-satisfaction against the TSA (who have cause my family and I plenty of grief, but thats for another post). The plane was also very steady. No turbulence to speak of.

When we touch down in Florida I have the pleasure to meet the man who made organizing this so easy. Turns out, the guy who is in charge of organizing everything is the Vice-President of the entire company himself. When was the last time the vice-president of anything ever helped you with a serious problem. NEVER THATS WHEN.

After the plane was gassed up, it was time for flight number 2: From Florida to Curacao. You see, Venezuelan legislation does not allow US aircraft to enter its airspace without some special permits. Mr. VP was not able to get these permits on time, so he organized whats known as a "wing-to-wing" transfer. Basically one planes lands next to one, everything is transferred and both planes go off to their appropriate destinations. The second flight felt longer because we were all getting fatigued from the journey. We touch down in Curacao and find out that our connection to Venezuela forgot their stretcher. A medical air ambulance, with no stretcher. Lets just think about that for a few minutes.

Now let me ask you? Am I going crazy? Is the world? Is basic competency too much to expect from people anymore? Hell, I dont know.

Anyway, at this point my grandmother is getting mad and restless. Rightfully so! The two med teams have to carry her awkwardly with sheets into the other plane. The last plane is noisy and since it is now the dead of night, only darkness can be seen from every window. None of the equipment is working and oh my god we might actually die here oh jesus christ.

But my fears are quickly quelled as the bright lights of government funded mass-housing enters our skyline. We touch down and without skipping a beat my grandmother is transported to the hospital via ambulance. Apparently American Jets also took the time to organize ground transport and was part of the original quote. Wowza! So thats where we are. Still in Caracas in the hospital and we shall see how things turn out.

But you wanna know the thing that astounds me the most? Chartering a private international jet + the costs of the procedure done in Caracas, will still be significantly less than the $105K the states wanted me to pay.

>my face when