#ametureblogging

[aychdeebee]

I’m overwhelmingly overwhelmed.

I wish I could be eloquent about what I’m about to spill, but it will just be plain, raw words.

I’m worried consatantly. I can’t focus. I want to sleep all the time. I feel lost. I feel weak. I feel unappreciated. I feel alone. I’m upset and disgusted with myself.

I don’t know where or how to go from here.

[aychdeebee]

Being global.

So,

I have been absent quite sometime from my fantasy/real world. I have been without the internet (exception from a smart phone with limited data monthly) for 6 years. ...........................................................

6 YEARS!!!!

What tha fack!?

That is the most uncommon thing in the world we currently live in. The installation person actually laughed at me!

Anywho,

I AM back! I am more than elated to get back on my tumblr grind.

This is a form of therapy for me. Even if not one single person relates to my thoughts I have put them out there and have lightened my mind and -HOPEFULLY- enlightened someone else.

I will say, before rambles are finished, that my network free life -of six years- was one of the most refreshing things to have occurred.

Peace be with the mind, heart, and soul.

                                                                                - AYCHDEEBEE

[aychdeebee]

Doubt

I doubt people. A lot. I doubt my friendships. A lot. I've been hurt by so many friends and people that it's made me paranoid with every new encounter and all of the existing ones that are left. When I consider someone a friend there is a lot of emotion and appreciation for that person behind that. Sometimes, I feel as if I'm not met with the same respect. Probably the paranoia, but then again I can't really tell. I don't think it's too much to ask to be interested in whoever or whatever is in front of you making an effort that most people won't. Doubt. It's crippling. It's a disease in a sense. Doubting people is one thing. When you start to doubt yourself, now that's another. Doubt. I just wish it would go away. I want it to.