#amity angst

[1coolpeep]

Amity was too tired to change into her pj's for bed....Luz on the other hand just slept with her clothes cause why not

[jadeisbetterrrr]

amity angst

(right after day of unity)

Amitys POV

TTTWWWW‼️‼️‼️‼️ PANIC ATTACK BROSKIS

"they're gone. they're all gone." Amity thought, she had bottled up all her feelings about her family to participate in the fight. but now there wasn't a fight.

"Amity, you okay?" Willow asked, she could read the looks on Amity's face as it was her own. "Yeah, i'm fine." Amity said quickly, not making eye contact. "Are you sure?" Willow said, she knew she wasn't. "yeah" Amity said. "Okay." Willow said, she gave Amity the benefit of the doubt.

Amity sat down in a corner on the floor, she didn't know where to put her hands. She was trying to take up as little space as possible. Luz had saw her and sat down next to her, putting her hand on top of hers and squeezing it. "Amity, we're gonna find a way back, okay?" Amity couldn't say anything, so she gave a small nod.

Camila had asked Luz to explain what happened and she got up to talk to her. Amity was now left alone with her thoughts. Her brain went to the worst case-scenario, her breathing got heavier little by little, but it got to the point where her hands started to shake and she couldn't stop them. Willow had noticed quickly and dashed to her quickly.

"Amity? what's wrong?" Willow asked concerned. "Ems gone, Ed's gone, Everyones gone Willow, Its my fault for leaving, its my fault, i don't even know if my dad or the twins are alive." Amity now had tears in her eyes, her breathing becoming heavier by the second. Luz had stopped talking and got up to sit down and look at her girlfriend. "Ams?"

Amity couldn't feel anything around her, she felt herself drowning into a deep abyss. Her eyes were shut and her hands turned into fists. "Amity stop. look at me" Willow said, showing up four fingers "put a hand on your chest and follow my breathing." Amity slowly opened her eyes and put her sweaty hand on her chest and followed her breathing.

Luz held her other hand, occasionally planting a kiss on her hand. "Ams, you okay?" Luz asked, after the lavender haired girl calmed down. Amity still couldn't form words so she nodded. Luz had stayed with amity holding her hand until she was ready to talk.

"I'm sorry" we're the first words Amity was able to say. "For what? its okay hermosa, you don't need to be sorry for anything" Amity was able to whisper a thank you to Luz for sticking with her. Camila looked at the two with a smug face. "So you two are dating?"

Amity and Luz's faces turned a beet red, with the both only being able to nod.

[end]

a/n:

took me a while to put this one out guys, i hope you like it!! ily guys sm 🫶🏽

[hereforthehurts]

For @febuwhump day 15; "don't look back". Enjoy some Amity angst !! Based on this post (support the artist!)

.....................................................

Never look back.

Amity remembers the day her mother had taught her those words so clearly in her head, a memory she’s tried so hard to tuck away in the furthest corner of her brain to no avail. She was nine then and had been a sweet obedient little thing that was her mother’s creation, like a puppet who had no control of their own body, their own lives.

Amity wished so badly that she could forget who she was.

Never look back.

She was nine then, sitting in front of her bedroom’s dresser, her mother’s figure behind her, streaking a brush gently over her hair. She doesn’t know what she’s doing, doesn’t know why she’s doing it—all Amity really knew was to be obedient, still and silent. So that’s what she did.

“Do you know what I’m doing right now, Amity?” Her mother’s voice was cold and smooth, like a bucket of ice water being dumped on her back. Amity couldn’t help but slightly flinch away from her place.

“Yes, mother.”

 

 

Because that’s all that she could answer.

 

 

 

It took her seven years and a change of heart to finally understand what her mother was doing to her that day.

She was trying to change who she was. That’s what she’s doing. She was trying to make her something she’s not.

And Amity would never let her do that. Not anymore.

Never look back, her mother said. The past will only pull you behind. The past will only haunt you.

And yes, Amity thinks now, with a mix of burning anger and regret, the past did haunt me. It still does.

She gathers her now waist-length hair with one hand, pulling it back to her neck. There’s an uneven line on her neck that separates her brown hair from her unnatural, mint green one. It’s a shame that the line was the only thing that separates who she really is from the obedient puppet her mother had shaped her into. Every time her hair grows longer and the brown starts showing from the tips of her head, her mother would swipe her back to that seat in front of her dresser and hide them. Hide who her daughter is, shape her into what she wanted she wanted her to be.

Color coordinated, Odalia had said.

Not anymore, Amity says now.

She smooths her hair with her fingers, gathering them into her side, watching the reflection of the figure that isn’t her in the mirror for the last time in her life.

Never look back, her mother had said. It was a good advice, or so she had thought when she was little. If only she had known what it meant sooner. Never look back for her means forgetting every horrible thing her mother had forced her to do in the past, every cold, manipulative words she had said to her. Never look back means forgetting who she was. Never look back means forgetting who she is.

And fortunately, Amity has never been a very good listener. Not to her mother, anyway.

This time, Amity looked back. She looked back into what she was, what had happened to her. She looked back into the times she had felt so guilty and ashamed of not being able to fight back, for all those times she watched herself become something she wasn’t.

She looked back. And it hurts.

(She cuts the mint green with a swift flick of her finger. They fall off piece by piece into her hands like light feathers, landing softly on the floor.)

But it was okay, because the future is ahead of her, and it was hers.

(There’s panic gripping on her chest for a moment, the pain blocking the air from her throat, the old feeling of knowing that her mother is going to be so angry at her when she sees the mess she made. Amity held the strands of her mint green hair like she depended on it, before realizing that she’s safe, now, she’s safe, and everything’s okay, and nobody could hurt her if she doesn’t let them anymore.)

It was hers. Her life was hers. Not her mother’s, not her parents’, and definitely not the Coven’s—hers. It was hers and hers only. And she gets to decide.

(She breathes. Hot tears run down her cheeks softly, but she was smiling. She was free. “It’s okay,” she keeps telling herself, “It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.” And she will be. She knows she will.)

And Amity decides that she was going to be who she is, from now on. Starting from her hair.

Luz comes into the room hours later, finding her sobbing on the floor in a mess of hair and tears. She looks up at her and smiles, contrast to the tears flowing down her cheeks—and Luz doesn’t question her. She never does. The other girl moves forward and crouches down to hold her, kiss her, tell her that everything’s going to be okay. That it’s okay to feel. To have regrets.

When she gets up from her place on the floor, Luz’s hand in hers, it felt like she was wearing a new skin. Like a butterfly coming out of their cocoon for the first time in their life.

“Do you regret it?” Luz asks her softly, running her fingers along her brown hair’s choppy cut.

“What, my hair?” Amity asks back. Her hand unconsciously reaches back to feel her hair, too, only to be met with Luz’s. “Oh. What do you think?”

“It’s…” Luz shrugs. “It’s a fresh start. I like it.” Her hand moves over to intertwine her fingers in between hers. “Do you?”

“Oh. Yeah, definitely,” Amity laughs. “The only regret I have is not doing it sooner.”

“So, no regrets?”

She smiles at her. “No regrets.”

Luz kisses the top of her head softly. “Then let’s go. Forward.”

“Yeah,” Amity nods. She takes Luz’s hand and pulls herself up. “Forward.”

And forward she goes.  

[rentheartdragon]

Fallen angel

Sketch by the way lol

[jadeisbetterrrr]

amity confront odalia

(they arrive in demon realm and bump into a familiar face.)

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING, MENTIONS OF EATING DISORDER.

"Amity is that you?, oh, are you alright, you're looking rather....you know."

"Mother? how did you know we were here? and why are you here?"

"I work for the Collector now, I could take you back and reform you to Little Miss Perfect again!"

O dalila tried to caress the shocked daughters faced, but Amity pushed her hand away.

"No, mom, you are not actually doing this right now." "You leave me and the family and now your back and you're expecting for it to all be okay?"

Everyone else looked at them, shocked, confused, but Camila was asking Luz who that lady was and why Amity looked so startled. She didn't know about how Odalia had treated her daughters girlfriend.

"Well, Amity that's not any way to talk to your mother, is it?."

"I don't have a mom. You're not my mom. You never were."

"Excuse me? I brought you into this world and now you're disrespecting me like this?!"

Odalia then had slapped Amity across the face. Amity didn't look fazed, she looked like this feeling was rather familiar.

"Im not lying, you never treated me like your daughter, You werent the one who took me to school in the morning and told me "I love you" or things like that."

"Oh is that what this is about?. you're mad Mommy never told you I love you?"

"YES, THAT IS WHAT THIS IS ABOUT, I WALKED INTO SCHOOL AND SAW ALL THE OTHER MOMS WITH THEIR KIDS AND THOUGHT" "why don't i have that mom? why do they get to have that mom?"

"Amity you're being rather dramatic."

Everyone else had just been standing there, shocked, not one of them would DARE step in. Amity needed to get this out.

"maybe i am but i dont CARE anymore, you treated me like crap and you know that."

"I did what was GOOD for you, you'll thank me one day."

"doing what was good for me was putting your business over everything and sending me to bed with no access to the real world and no food or water because i made something under 90?" Yeah thanks mom for the ed."

"Oh stop, you probably haven't even been diagnosed." Its all in your head"

"YES I HAVE. YOU WOULD KNOW THAT IF YOU PAYED ATTENTION TO ME."

"Oh really, with who?"

"The twins. you know what's embarrassing? having your sister be the only mother figure you have? I called Em MOM twice last year, thats embarrasing . Now if you would move along that would be really great.

"Fine, dont come running along for help."

"I never have."

Amity and the crew then dashed past her and Amity stayed quiet for a while, Willow and Luz tried to get her to open up but she wouldn't budge, she would need time.

"Ams you sure you okay? Luz asked.

"Yeah im fine, felt a bit good to let it out."

"Does your cheek hurt?"

"a bit but its fine."

"Ams, you're not fine, you can talk to me."

"I just, it's been hard having to deal with the ed and seeing my mom again, i felt powerless i didnt know she was going to be there. i feel so embarrassed having you guys see me and my mom go at it. "

"It wasn't your fault, we didn't know she was going to be there"

"i know, thank you by the way."

"You're welcome, it's my sworn duty as your girlfriend"

"okay dork" Amity said blushing a bit.

They then continued to walk.

a/n: your welcome guys, amity got all her angst out, i reared up making this 😪. I love you guys sm 🫶🏽

jayda wayda 🤭‼️

[jadeisbetterrrr]

amity angst !

TW GUYS !!!!

(before day of unity)

Amity POV

Its a cold night in the Boiling Isles. But a loud one in the Blight Manor, Odalia and Amity were going at it.

"Mittens, i can't believe you, i do so much for you and you do this? a 95? really?" "Im sorry! I promise i'll do better!" I said not wanting to make mother angry. "You're distracted, what you dye your hair purple and start getting closer to that "Human" My mom spat at me.

"Her name is LUZ!" I yelled, snapping. I immediately threw my hand over my mouth realizing i just said that. "What? did you just say to me?" Mom said, quietly, too quiet. "I-im sorry-" then i felt a hand across my face.

"You will not DARE talk to me like that. Understood?" Mom yelled. "I understand Mo-" "ITS ODALIA TO YOU." I tilted my head down in an attempt to not cry. "I understand Odalia." "Good. now go to your room." Odalia said pointing a finger towards my door upstairs. I walked up with my head down trying not to cry.

POV SWIGXH 😍

LUZ POV

"Eda do we have anything other than apple blood?" I asked. "What kind of question is that? of course not!" Eda said, from her room. I rolled my eyes and went up to my room. I really want to see Amity right now. I then felt a blush on my cheeks as i pictured her laughing at one of my dorky jokes. Next thing i know im kicking my feet in the air and giggling.

"i'll sneak out" i thought, I knew Eda wouldn't let me leave this late. I put on my shoes and quietly climbed out the window making sure to avoid Hooty. I then made my way to the blight manor.

POV SWITCH AGAIN

AMITY POV

As i closed the door to my room i immediately fell to the floor and cried quietly. Why couldn't i just be happy? That's all i wanted, a normal mom, a normal dad and to be happy with my friends and Luz. Why couldn't it just work out? i touched the cheek where my mother had slapped me.

I then heard something coming from my window, I quickly wiped my tears and drew out a spell to see if someone tried to break in, but it was Luz. "Luz?" I said. "What are you doing here this late?" I quickly hid my red cheek with my hair. "Amity? what's wrong?" Luz asked me with a concerned look on her face.

"Nothing! You caught me by surprise." I said hiding my hands and standing up. "Your lying." Luz said slowly walking towards me. "What?" "What's on your cheek? why are your eyes red?" "Uh- its nothing! i just uhm." I quickly said, i didnt feel like talking about this. Luz then quickly pulled me into a hug.

it took me a while to register what was actually happening but i hugged her back. "It was your mom, wasn't it?" I immediately broke down in her arms. She held me and sometimes planted a kiss on top of my head until my tears dried. "Did she slap you?" Luz asked softly. I nodded and she looked down and got up.

"You know what's gonna instantly make you feel better?" She said. "What?" I said with a confused face. She then picked me up and twirled around. "L-LUZ you're gonna drop me!" "No im not!" we both giggled and we then landed on my bed catching our breath. I then hugged her side as we made ourselves comfortable. "Edas so gonna kill you if you don't go home." I whispered.

"Yeah well, that's a problem for future Amity and Luz." Luz then played some Lana Del Rey (i love lana sm 🫶🏽) as we both drifted off to sleep.

[END]

a/n : i loved making the end part 🫶🏽😭, i hate odalia sm i wanna shoot her into outer space so far google wouldn't find her. ANYWAYS gn/gm guys ily sm 🫶🏽