Would his mind were elsewhere, he wouldn’t be so conflicted. He has been trying to find answers to question after question after question — but he has found no answers, though, no matter how deep he delves. How many times has he imagined the possibilities? That couldn’t be said, but when he thinks about it, there’s always a skin in his pulse, hot thumping from his heart when the adrenaline of anger kicks in. Never has he feel another thing than anger, which was never cut out. It doesn’t matter how many times he opens creatures up, cuts them open, slides his claws underneath where their muscle and veins and everything that allows them to live lies, he'll never truly get better.
He knows it’s unsettling, the way he stares; unblinking, starless. The red of his eyes seems to deepen as he keeps looking. He knows what will happen next, his anger will ease — it’s obvious. He sees her, and he sees a mirror picturing himself behind her, his own reflection; bleached with white-hot wrath and recklessness. Always been like that, but when he’s near her, such things won’t culture within him, no dangerous idea would latch on his head. It’s strange, but little by little he has tried to decipher this, and he has encountered by many obstacles, but he keeps trying regardless.
Feels like he’s a dog. Obedient when his master sets foot on the place. However, at this rate he finds himself not caring anymore — it’s not like life and death matters for him, not anymore. He has thought many times that he doesn’t belong here, nothing will change that kind of mindset, as it has always been reckless and stubborn, since his genesis.
What should he do now? An exasperated sigh drawls, with less inflection than usual. Bruised hand fixates wild strands of instense, almost beautiful red hair out of his countenance, so he could see better. This is no product of his imagination, nor an illusion. Neither a dream — this is the real scene he has been thinking about. Nothing comes to mind now, only silence — except for one thing, “...Look what the cat dragged in.”
