Gay adaptation of the movie ‘Man Up’ for #Shootweek19
Shaw Up - A single woman steals a stranger's blind date.
Nailed It - haha behold my photoshop skills which aren’t any better than my baking skills (which are truly scary and it was really hard finding a photo of Sarah sitting down)
Nine intertwined stories examine the complexities of the one thing that connects us all: a super artificial intelligence.
Among the characters explored are Root (Amy Acker), the former killer for hire hacker who falls for a former government assassin and new primary asset Sameen Shaw (Sarah Shahi). The two women spar and work together while undercover as party planners organizing an extravagant holiday party. Reese (Jim Caviezel), a primary asset who’s life is complicated by his two loves - police chief Joss Carter (Taraji P. Henson) and fixer extraordinaire Zoe Morgan (Paige Turco). His best friend Fusco (Kevin Chapman) meanwhile is just trying to give Bear a bath for the holiday season. And then there’s Harry (Michael Emerson), an introverted man married to spunky graphic designer Grace (Carrie Preston) and their adopted genius protegee tween daughter Gen (Danielle Kotch) who is hoping to teach her baby artificial intelligence creation how to sing holiday songs.
Bonus: (poorly made gif)
Love Actually AU: Two Beatrices talking about dolls together.
Sameen Shaw, took a mini bottle of scotch from the hotel mini bar and plonked herself down in front of the mirror on the vanity chair. She wore her party dress, hair done, full make up on. The petite dark-haired woman stared at herself in the mirror and picked up the Christmas Santa hat and almost put it on her head; instead she threw it in the trashcan.
“Fuck it.” Shaw took a sip of the little bottle of scotch from the hotel mini bar.
Moments later, Shaw walked over and slumped on the double bed, wearing sweatpants, a hoodie and a pair of dog slippers. Her dress hung up in the corner of the room as she munched from a large bag of chips. Now the bottle of scotch was larger.
On the hotel television screen, ‘Silence of The Lambs’ played and Shaw watched transfixed.
Suddenly, a loud knock at the door, startled Shaw, she jumped and went to the door.
On the other side of the door was a Room Service Guy with a trolley of food that Shaw had ordered from room service.
Before the Room Service Guy could speak, Shaw cut him off.
“Right, yes good…right in here,” Shaw moved out the way so her steak and fries could make the grand entrance they deserved.
She had nowhere else to go but the bed, so she sat out of the way of the trolley, at the end of the bed.
Room Service Guy revealed Shaw’s food as a magician revealing an impressive trick - a massive plate of steak and fries as he lifted up the small silver dome to show off the meal. He then smiled, politely as Shaw stuffed her mouth with fries, and then clocked Room Service Guy’s name tag.
“Tell me, Andrew... Andy.” She asked in between shoveling fries into her mouth. “How’s that holiday engagement party going?”
“Uh, pretty well I think.” Andy looked nervous being in Shaw’s room alone with her. Shaw was an intimidating woman while also being mouth dropping gorgeous. “You know there’s food down there, right?” Andy said nervously to Shaw.
“Yeah, I do, I do. I’m just not in the party mood tonight.” Shaw stabbed her steak with the sharp knife then took a massive bite. Her phone started to ring. So she answered it, with a mouthful of steak. “Have you got any ketchup, Andy? Hello.”
Joss, Shaw’s closest friend, on the other end of the phone started off questioning her friend as she usually does. “Who’s Andy?”
“Seems like a nice dude who has just brought me dinner,” Shaw answered while also signing the bill that Andy handed to her.
“You’re not at the party.” There was no point in Joss asking this question, she knew Shaw well enough to know that her friend was getting room service in her room and ditching the party. She also knew steak and fries had been delivered because it was Shaw’s favorite.
“I am not at the party, but I am at a party. Hannibal and Clarice are here, not to mention Andy too…and most importantly steak is here.” Shaw did a motion with her hands around the room for only her benefit.
Andy got a nervous look on his face and eyed the door. His job was done; he really wanted to flee this so called party.
Shaw caught the motion and told Joss. “But he’s just leaving now.”
“Put him on, please.” Joss didn’t ask, she demanded.
Shaw shrugged, she knew better than to argue or fight with Joss sometimes. “Hey, my friend wants to speak to you.” Shaw motioned to Andy before he could make it all the way to the door to escape.
Andy took the phone from Shaw very confused and a little nervous. “Hello?”
“Hi, I’m Joss. Now, there’ll be a dress, hanging up somewhere, can you give it to that petite beautiful woman who is stuffing fries in her mouth, please?” Joss did ask Andy in a nice, sweet tone; she didn’t want to scare off the young man completely.
Andy spotted the dress hanging in the open closet cabinet, “Ah, yes, of course.”
Shaw watched Andy go over to her dress, she squinted her eyes. “No, no, no... Andy.”
Andy still had the phone pressed up against his ear as Joss continued to instruct the nervous young man. “Tell her to put the dress back on Andy, please.”
“She wants you to put the dress back on,” Andy handed the dress to Shaw who glared at him. “She said please.” He started to look a little pale, possibly the thought that this stunning woman would actually change clothes in front of him. He would faint like a woman in an eighteenth century novel if that happened.
Outraged, Shaw got up and took the phone from Andy aka Room Service Guy. “Okay, enough.” Shaw sighed loudly. “Andy, do you have a napkin or something?” Shaw had gotten ketchup all over her hands from the fries. Andy quickly handed her a napkin, Shaw wiped off her hands and re-positioned the phone. “Joss, I’ve been ambushed. Some set up, with a guy that Harper works with.”
Joss yelled into her phone loud enough for Andy to hear through Shaw’s phone. “Excellent. This is good!”
Shaw leaned on Andy’s shoulder for her lament, “Come on. It’s just all so <i>organized</i>, and awkward, you know I can’t bear it Joss…”
“Yeah I know, Shaw but...how the hell else are you going to meet someone?”
“Well, I met Andy?” Shaw gave a wink to the very nervous Andy the Room Service Guy.
Andy scared for his life has decided to inch further and further to the exit as smoothly as possible.
“Oh no, he’s off. Put on the Do Not Disturb sign please Andy!” Shaw called after Andy as she door slammed.
“Don’t do it, Andy! Take her with you!” Joss shouted to no avail as Andy had already ditched Shaw’s room.
Shaw flopped down on the bed with the phone still pressed to her ear.
“You’ve gone all the way down there, just put your dress on, go and show your face, stay, like ten minutes,” said Joss in her most encouraging voice.
Shaw interrupted Joss, “The party is themed, Joss. THEMED.”
“Uh, yeah it’s Christmas Shaw. Okay, get your notepad.”
“Who gets married at Christmas? Who gets married at all?” Shaw asked in a harsh tone.
“Hey, some of us like being smug marrieds,” Joss shot back.
Shaw rolled her eyes, then rolled her body over and picked up her notepad.
“I’m too old for this shit. And it doesn’t work on me.”
“You’re 37 not 87! And well, we’ve established you are unique.” Joss paused; her friend was unique not broken. “The best of the best, yet unique,” Joss said in a very loving tone.
Shaw flipped open to a page that used to say ‘MANTRAS’, but Shaw has crossed the ‘MAN’ out so it now says ‘SHAWTRAS’. It was a long list of inspirational sayings, some scratched out and some underlined for dramatic effect. She sat up straight, determined. She took a deep breath. And rolled her eyes again at this stupid exercise.
“Put yourself out there.” Some of these Shawtras were truly painful to say. Why did she need mantras anyway? She liked being single. It’s other people that didn’t like her being single. She was fine with it.
“Good,” Joss said in a voice that truly resembled a proud mother.
“Take chances...” Ugh, that one hurt.
“Okay, now a little less hollow and robotic,” Joss said in a gentle way.
“Joss, you know those are my only two tones,” Shaw grumbled back.
“That’s not true, I always prefer snarky and angry. And that voice that implies you’re close to stabbing someone with any cutlery that is within arm’s reach.”
“You know what? Fine, you win. I’ll go the stupid party for ten minutes. Happy?”
Shaw didn’t give Joss a chance to answer; she hung up the phone and threw it on the other side of the bed.
A few minutes later, the elevator opened with a PING! - ‘doors opening’ and there was Shaw, big game face on, out of her hoodie and in her pretty red dress, the Santa hat gripped in her hand tightly. The Santa hat had seen better days. The red dress had not, no one could wear this red dress better than Shaw. She looked absolutely stunning, despite the grumpy, slightly murderous face. She entered the elevator and headed downstairs.
As the elevator closed behind her, she said more Shawtras to get pumped up – ‘Get stronger thighs’, ‘Even more defined abs’ ‘Be more deviant. If possible.’, ‘Talk more’, ‘Decrease eye rolling’ – wait she thought, Joss added those last two. How did she let Joss talk into this ‘positive’ thinking bullshit?
The elevator doors opened at the lobby and Shaw adjusted her red dress and walked confidently over to the party doors.
Shaw said one more Shawtra before entering the party, ‘Engage with…” She kicked open the door, game face on to find the Christmas themed engagement party in full swing, couples everywhere. “…life.” She felt angry all of sudden, burning in her stomach. “Ugh. Gross.”
Leon, the groom to be dressed up as Santa Claus, immediately caught Shaw and put an elf hat on her head, “Finally! We nearly sent out a search party!”
“Call them off, I’m here Leon,” Shaw said in her most sardonic tone with a side eye to Leon. Santa Claus really?
Leon draped his arm around Shaw, grabbed a candy cane mojito from a passing waiter and handed it to Shaw.
“Here, have a candy cane mojito, the first one is free! I paid for them all with my savings! And now, I have no savings!” There was a look of sadness on Leon’s face.
Shaw reached into her handbag and pulled out a small scotch bottle from the hotel mini bar.
“Happy Engagement. Merry Christmas. Here is literally a small present,” Shaw shoved the tiny bottle of scotch into Leon’s hands.
“I am so touched that you thought of me when you raided the mini bar,” Leon said without missing a beat.
Shaw pulled out a pack of peanuts from her handbag as well and handed them to Leon.
“Oh my god, this is too much,” Leon had a smirk on his face now.
Harper swooped in dressed as Mrs. Santa Claus; she put her arms around both Leon and Shaw. “What’s too much? Tell me, tell me. Shaw, you look amazing.” She looked to her husband to be Leon. “He’s going to love her! Come on,” Harper grabbed Shaw’s hand and pulled her away.
“Whoa, whoa, I just need a moment longer with this candy cane mojito, please…” Shaw tried to drink it while Harper tugged at her arm, thus spilling half of her candy cane mojito along the way.
“He hates Facebook, loves dogs and he’s really quiet. He’s perfect for you,” Harper slurred her words as she leaned too far into Shaw. Too many candy cane mojitos for Harper.
“Who’s really perfect for anybody, really?” Shaw didn’t believe in perfect matches, or really matches period. Except for Joss and John, they were good together. And Fusco and Frankie were fun together. That’s it, she couldn’t think of any other couples that were like meant to be together. Soul mate stuff was utter bullshit stuff Shaw thought.
“We were a set up, and look at us now!” Harper said very happily with Mrs. Santa Claus wig nearly falling off with her wide, broad drunken movements.
Shaw just stared at the two of them bemused. “Leon, it’s like your single years have been totally wiped from your pea brain memory. Hey, remember that girl who cried the whole way through giving you a blow job?” She couldn’t help herself. If she was going to bet set up then Leon was going to pay for it.
A very awkward beat as Shaw realized that it was Harper who cried the whole way through the blow job.
“And look at you now. Christmas themed engagement party. Congats you two,” Shaw said as she drank from her half spilled candy cane mojito.
Harper glared at Leon who gave her an apologetic smile. He soldiered on with Shaw.
“Come on Shaw, give him a chance? When I have led your wrong?” Leon said with his best selling grin, which most of the time didn’t sell anything.
“You really don’t want me to answer that question Leon,” Shaw had a slight murderous glare at her friend.
A party guest not wearing an elf hat knocked into Shaw and spilled her drink onto her hands. As Shaw dried her hands off, she couldn’t stop the anger from boiling up.
“Alright! Bring it on. Another sad, single loser in their mid thirties,” Shaw decreed while still wearing her elf hat.
“I’m actually a sad single loser in my late thirties,” a dark-haired man corrected her as he came to stand in front of her.
Shaw swiveled around to see Matthew, a generic, handsome guy, smiling away at her. Harper laughed a bit too loudly at Matthew’s ‘joke’ and then looked at Shaw – as if to say, come on, laugh! Harper pulled a repentant Leon away and they squabbled as they drunkenly shuffled away; clearly, the Claus’s needed some coffee or a nap.
Shaw and Matthew stared at each other and as they shook hands.
“Matthew Reed. 39.” Matthew said seriously with a slight smirk on his face.
“Sameen Shaw. 37.” Shaw stood there with her trademark blank stare, also known as the GREATEST bitch resting face by her friends.
Shaw realized her hand was a bit wet from the spilled candy cane mojito. “Sorry, my hand is a bit wet. It’s not pee.”
“Right,” Matthew seemed taken a back a little.
“It’s candy cane mojito,” Shaw stated the facts.
“Oh, I didn’t think it was pee,” Matthew said awkwardly.
“I mean, why would it be pee? That would imply very poor personal hygiene. I don’t use my hand. I use toilet paper, just like everybody else,” Shaw again just stated a fact.
“That’s... a relief?” Matthew added again awkwardly, he was a little too posh it seemed to be talking this much about pee.
“And so is a pee.” Shaw liked her pee jokes.
An awkward, zero chemistry pause.
“How about another drink?” Matthew attempted in a cheery, forced voice.
“Why not?” Shaw said in an even faker forced voice. Why she thought, why was she was doing this when she could be watching ‘Silence Of The Lambs’ in her room with steak and fries.
Shaw took a long slurp of her drink; Matthew turned to the bar and started to get his wallet out.
“I’ll get these,” Shaw thought maybe if she paid for the drinks she could make a quicker exit if needed.
“No really, it’s fine,” Matthew replied back.
“Let me,” Shaw pulled out her wallet.
“No, no, seriously…Oh okay, thank you,” Matthew said awkwardly. “Alright, you get them.”
“I’ll just get them, shall I?” Shaw noticed a photograph of a girl in Matthew’s wallet.
“Ah, busted. Still carrying a photo of your ex around in the old wallet,” Shaw smirked at Matthew.
“That’s my sister,” Matthew said with a sad look on his face.
“Oh, well, she’s very pretty. Bet she gets all zee boyz,” she forced a smile to be ‘polite’ as Joss would say in her head.
“She’s dead,” Matthew replied back in a very solemn voice.
Matthew snapped his wallet shut. Awkward silence. Shaw drained her candy cane mojito dry. And then ordered eight more.
**<<>>**
Shaw was on the busy platform the next morning. Feeling rougher than usual. In one hand she carried a bag from the train station cafe, filled with her unique hangover cure and in the other hand a massive coffee. In the background, a poster for a self-help book ‘6 Billion People and You’ but blink and you’d miss it. Shaw’s train arrived and she was so happy to get on her way back into the city and leave mostly coupled up suburbia behind.
Shaw made her way down the aisle, now on the phone to Joss.
“No Joss, I have pictures of Bear in my wallet, and he’s alive and kicking, and I want people to ask me about Bear,” Shaw rolled her eyes.
Off in the city, Joss and her husband John, coming out of their brownstone, carried grocery bags full of chips, dips, and nibbles galore.
“But it’s good that you went,” Joss said while also pointing to John to instruct on where to place the grocery bags in the trunk of the car.
Shaw plonked herself down opposite a random nicely dressed Girl On The Train. She was pretty and tidy. And she was reading a book, so hopefully no polite or not so polite conversation will occur Shaw thought.
“Why, why is it good? It’s just so excruciating and predictable, like it always is. You know what, I’m just going to let my vagina hermetically seal up,” Shaw might have said this part too loud as the Girl On The Train across from her looked up from her book and stared.
“Yeah, well that will really help smartass,” Joss snapped, as she shook her head; John just smiled at his exasperated wife.
“Never hurt Barbie. She’s got a beach buggy, horses, a salon, condo, sports car...all with a hermetically sealed up vagina,” Shaw was quite proud of this discovery, she smiled to herself.
Joss continued to direct John where to put everything in the trunk of the car. “So how much longer until you’re here?” She moved a bag John had put in the wrong place.
John leaned into the phone. “Come on Shaw, hurry up over here. There’s work to be done, we need to split it up. Lots of…nibbles I’m told to…put in a lot of bowls.” John scrunched up his face; he couldn’t believe he just said the word nibbles.
Suddenly, the ‘I’m up to my ass in bowls bowls all types of bowls’ part of ‘Back Home Ballers’ song filled Shaw’s head and she got distracted. She snorted. “Uhhh…about two hours?”
The train announcer’s voice boomed out into the train, “…just a reminder to all passengers that due to weekend engineering work, all trains are making all stops at every stop. No express trains.”
Shaw groaned inwardly and outwardly. “About 7 hours.”
Joss slammed the trunk shut, “What the fuck!”
“I’m joking,” Shaw grinned, she kind of loved when Joss got mad and cursed.
“Well, not funny. I cannot do this all on my own,” Joss said as John sat down to get into the driver’s seat, who looked a little offended at his wife’s dismissal of his assistance.
“I’m here to help, you’re not on your own,” John said sweetly looking over to his stressed wife.
Joss smiled at John warmly, then got cold again into the phone directed at Shaw. “Whatever you do, don’t forget the chocolate mousse, Frankie is obsessed. And have you done your speech yet?”
“Yeah, I mean I’ve got a rough…” Before Shaw can finish her sentence, Joss talked again.
“Or have you just done a lot of doodles and crossing out?”
Shaw stared out the window, she often wondered if Joss was psychic. How did she know some of her shit? Or maybe she hacked every electronic device Shaw owned and spied on her all the time, like a secret system that saw everything.
Joss got into the car. “Come on, Shaw, you know Fusco loves you, he wanted you to do a speech. So it needs to be good and special, okay?”
“Mmmmm, fine. Not sure why the big guy needs it from me,” Shaw did love the curly haired stocky guy.
“And Shaw?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t seal up your vagina just yet,” Joss said gently. “It will happen for you.”
“Yeah yeah, fuck off.”
Shaw smirked as she hung up the phone. Joss could be like a mother hen sometimes, wanting to make sure everybody is okay. What Joss didn’t get was that some people were okay alone; some people didn’t need a mate. She started shoving her hangover cure in her mouth, a large Philly cheese steak sandwich. Extra cheese dripped down her hand.
She glanced back at the Girl On The Train, who was still reading a copy of that self-help book ‘6 Billion People and You - A Guide To Meeting Your Mate In The Modern World.’ Shaw looked at the book; she definitely couldn’t help rolling her eyes to herself. Train Girl caught her doing it. Shaw looked down at her notepad, flicked back to her mantras…her Shawtras. She considered them, dismissed them, remembered something, got out a pen and wrote ‘Black Pant Wash’ snapped her notepad shut, looked up to find Train Girl leaning towards her, sympathetically for some strange reason.
“Sorry, but I couldn’t help overhearing,” the Train Girl or possibly Book Nerd gestured to the book she was holding. “You should really think about reading this.”
Shaw considered the back of the book now - it read ‘This book will change your life!’. She felt like she has met this type of girl before. Like she had this girl’s number.
“Oh, right, right... did it, then?”
“Did it what?” asked the Train Girl with a confused look on her face.
“Change your life?” Shaw gestured to the tagline of the book.
“Oh...maybe, yes,” the Train Girl said with a big smile.
“Or maybe no?” Shaw shot back verbally.
“Well, I like to give everything a go otherwise, what’s the point? I mean, you’ve got to hope it’s going to work, haven’t you? Because what is life without hope? Death!” Train Girl said a little too earnest for Shaw’s taste.
“Death it is,” Shaw said in her trademark deadpan, then added a sly grin.
“You see! You do need to read it. I would lend it to you but... I need it for my date.” A hopeful glee spread over Train Girl’s face and her entire body.
“Why do you need a book for a date?”
“So we can recognize each other.”
“Oh, is it a set up? Well, they always work,” Shaw said in her snarky tone. The snark level was high with this one.
“They often work. If the match-maker has done their homework,” the Train Girl said rather confidently.
“Yes, yes, because all successful relationships are built on the fact that you’re both the ‘outdoorsy type’ or can agree on what to watch on television after a crap day at work,” Shaw rolled her eyes at the Train Girl.
Train Girl visibly irked, “I really think you should read this,” said in a rather quite loud voice.
“Don’t need to,” Shaw said louder.
“It was an international best-seller,” the Train Girl was in defense mode now.
“So was the Da Vinci Code,” Shaw barked back, she wasn’t a fan of the book for some reason; even more so the movie.
“Also an excellent book!” Train Girl defended another book.
“Not an excellent book,” Shaw corrected the Train Girl.
“I think it’s exactly what you need…” Train Girl continued on in her passionate plea to get Shaw to read the self-help book.
The argument and volume escalated very quickly between the two women.
“Why is everyone always telling me what I need!” Shaw snapped not only to Train Girl but also to everyone in her life.
“Perhaps if everyone is telling you the same thing, you should listen…” Train Girl spoke softer now to Shaw.
“And I think you need to shush, you need to shush your mouth,” Shaw said harshly. She wanted to say shut the fuck up, but decided to be a tad more polite. Train Girl had a nice, sweet face.
“You want me to…shush?” Train Girl looked offended.
“I do, yeah, it would be great,” Shaw took a huge, messy bit of her hangover double meat sandwich, mustard dripping down her hand and her chin.
Train Girl spoke again despite the shush comment. “I’m only suggesting…” she tried to finish her thought but stopped because of Shaw’s scary look at her.
“We’re done here.”
Shaw put her finger to her lips - quiet time now please - and Train Girl, clearly not quite finished with Shaw, went back to her book. Shaw took another bite of her sandwich, she munched a bit aggressively, annoyed with how that all ended. She hoped Train Girl would get off soon so they wouldn’t spend hours across from each other. Shaw feared another intervention might happen and if it did, she was going to take that book and shove up Train Girl’s ass.
**<<>>**
Shaw had fallen asleep, her face all squashed up on one side of the train seat. She woke up to find everyone getting off the train at the last stop.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we are now arriving at our final destination, Grand Central Station...Please, exit the train,” the voice came over the train speaker system.
Shaw yawned luxuriously awake. She glanced down at her table to see her empty sandwich wrapper and a copy of ‘6 Billion People and You’ sitting in front of her with a post-it note that said ‘READ IT.’
Damn that irritating Train Girl, blabbing for ages about this damn stupid self-help book. Before Shaw had fallen asleep Train Girl mentioned that’s how she was meeting her blind date. The book. She was to meet a blind date at this last stop under the big clock at the train station. There was a napkin with a smiley face drawn on sticking out the top of the book - Shaw, infuriated, flicked to the page it was book-marking. The chapter read, YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ARE RUINING YOUR LIFE (AND EVERYONE ELSE’S...)’. Shaw slammed the book shut hard and glared around looking for the irritating Train Girl.
Shaw looked up to see Train Girl, waving gaily at her, walking off down the terminal hallway exit. No way. Shaw was definitely not having that. She furiously picked up all her stuff, including the damn book, and charged after annoying Train Girl, who had now picked up her pace. Shaw managed to get off the train and started running after her.
Shaw tried to get through the ticket barriers, to catch up with Train Girl, but her ticket beeped in denial.
Furious and frustrated, she handed it over to the ticket inspector, as he beeped her through and she now continued on running through the busy concourse of Grand Central Station, which looked more lovely than usual with all the holiday decorations. Shaw searched for Train Girl like she was the white rabbit, but to no avail.
Meanwhile, Train Girl walked confidently into a newsstand, where a huge display of ‘6 Billion People and You’ books sat in the window and a long queue of people all waiting to pay.
Shaw, still determined not to lose this battle, scanned the crowds for her quarry. In frustration, she flipped the book over - reading the tagline on the back - ‘What are you waiting for?’ Taking it personally she looked up, suddenly furious.
“Damn it, where the fuck are you?!” Shaw yelled out to the crowd.
“Sweetie, I’m right here,” came from a voice behind Shaw, a voice as smooth and soothing as honey or a ray of sunshine on a chilly day. Or even on a non-chilly day. “I’m not that late.”
Shaw spun around to see a tall, attractive brunette woman standing before her with a huge stupid grin on her face; actually the grin was charming as hell.
“Somebody threw themselves on the tracks again. I don’t blame them, so many delays,” the tall, gorgeous woman tilted her head and continued to smile warmly at Shaw. “So nice to finally meet you Hanna, I’m Root.”
Shaw was totally confused - why is this woman, this rather hot woman, holding up a copy of ‘6 Billion People and You’ talking to her? And calling her Hanna? And still grinning stupidly at her. The grin and twinkle in the woman’s eyes were both making her stomach feel weird, like hunger pains maybe. She was pretty sure she just hungry again. She couldn’t stop starring into the woman’s eyes; it was like her eyes were taken hostage.
“Great idea for how we’d know each other,” Root gripped her book of ‘6 Billion People and You’ as she attempted to wink at Shaw. “Although you would have been pretty hard to miss under this clock.” Root then motioned to the massive clock hanging from the ceiling above their heads.
Shaw looked around and wondered what the fuck is going on? She looked back at the book, then up at the massive clock above her head and it all clicked into place. The stupid crazy story the Hanna woman aka Train Girl told her about her blind date. Meeting her blind date under the massive clock while holding a copy of the stupid book. Idiots.
“Oh no, I’m not, this isn’t…” Shaw stared directly into the tall, gorgeous woman’s big, brown, soulful eyes and felt momentarily frozen. What the fuck kind of name is Root? If anything this tall, gorgeous woman looked more like an Amy.
“Should we shake hands or kiss?” Root continued to stare, with a brief glance down to Shaw’s lips, “Oh come on, we’re all adults here.” Root leaned in and kissed Shaw on the cheek, her warm lips pressed firmly against Shaw’s chilly check from the cold December temperatures. A slight electric charge shot through both women. Root pulled away and blushed as she lifted her eyes again to Shaw’s eyes.
It was a quick kiss, but Shaw felt herself swooning. She then scowled at herself; she didn’t swoon. Swooning was not in her nature or DNA. This woman was really hot though and smelled nice, so it wasn’t swooning it was lust pure and simple. Her phone started to ring. ‘JOSS CALLING’ appeared on the lock screen.
“Oh my god, is that your emergency exit phone call already? I’ve barely had a chance to use my good lines yet,” Root leaned in close to Shaw, “That wasn’t one of them.” She grinned at Shaw, who in return continued to look completely baffled by the tall, gorgeous woman.
Suddenly, Root swiped the phone from Shaw’s hand and actually answered the incoming call from Joss.
“Hello there caller. So, I’m not a psychopath, we’ve really hit it off, and she’ll call you later with all the gory details. Playfully witty sign-off.” And with that, Root hung up the call and handed Shaw her phone back with a huge grin.
Root did appear very nervous as she shifted her weight from foot to foot and gripped her book a tad harder. She continued on talking to fill the silence. “Right. Book. Check. Clock. Check. Blind date...check?” Root looked at Shaw with a hopeful and shy look.
Shaw gulped. She looked at the book, then the clock, and then the tall, gorgeous woman called Root.
“So, after I’ve spoken, usually you speak, we exchange ideas for the evening ahead, swap notions of what to get up to,” then Root actually did a Hannibal Lecter impression as she continued rambling on, “’Quid pro quo, Clarice’.” Root got a serious look on her face then smiled again at Shaw.
Shaw was visibly thrown by Root’s Hannibal Lecter impression - who was this woman? Who was this woman tweaking all her verbal nipples? ‘Silence Of The Lambs’ was her favorite movie of all time. It was a movie she usually quoted to people with blank stares back to her in return. She argued vehemently to friends over the years how ‘Silence Of The Lambs’ is actually probably the best movie ever made. And the kind of romance movie she liked.
Root watched Shaw closely, “With hindsight, possibly not the best impression to do on a first date.” Root hugged the book to her chest, and bit her lower lip. “And kinda goes against what I told Joss about me not being a psychopath on your phone.” With the shorter woman still staring at her blankly, she continued on, “Anyway, listen, I’m talking, I’m talking a lot, and I know you can sense it, so I’m just going to keep going with that, and start the bidding with a drink near Manhattan’s scenic Bryant Park? At a pop up bar?” Root decided to hold up her copy of the book for added effect, “So, er...what are you waiting for?”
Shaw looked up at the clock and at all the couples underneath it, meeting and greeting each other. Then looked into Root’s brown eyes that seemed to draw her in and for some reason made her feel warm like a sunbeam hitting her on a chilly day. Was she about to steal someone else’s blind date? Yes, yes she was. She was up for some adventure, even if this woman seemed a bit loony.
“I am waiting for...” Shaw looked down at the book, then back at Root with an adorable confused look on her face, “You?”
“Absolutely,” Root said with a twinkle in her eye and another failed attempt to wink at Shaw.
A totally bemused Shaw let Root lead her away from the clock, the crowds engulfing them as they walked on through the train station. The real Hanna aka Train Girl, rushed up on the other side not seeing Root and Shaw walk away from the clock. She carried a brand new copy of ‘6 Billion People and You’ and stood under the massive clock as she scanned the crowds with an excited look on her face, trying to find her blind date among the hordes of people bustling through the train station.
If you loved or begrudgingly enjoyed The Holiday (2006) about two women swapping homes at Christmastime, you might like The Team Machine Holiday about three women and one man not swapping homes but kicking ass around New York City at Christmastime!
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