#anadiaries

[saucekween]

Just made a bomb ass... mostly healthy meal buttttt if I eat it I can’t say for certain how much I’ll eat after that. If I don’t start I don’t have to stop.:: does that make sense??? Like if I dont eat today I’m fine but restricting to only 500 calories is a nightmare and when I do eat I get the fuckits quicker than I eat the 5 hundooo and go into instant self loathing and throw the day away while I eat 3000 calories in a matter of minutes.....

Did I mention I drank 3 white claw and 2 shots of whiskey and feel like purging would be counter productive.... how much will a purge fuck up my buzz??!

[angelcakesu]

I'd rather be mentally healthy, than skinny. But what the heck, others don’t seem happy. People aren’t supporting me. But like hehe :( self-love. I’m just getting so triggered and upset right now. I don’t want to go back. 

I told my sister I was gaining so much, and she said she noticed too. Then I told her “maybe, it’s time for me to shop like our brother who bought a bunch of clothes since he grew.” And she became a sexist bitch and said it’s different with him because he’s a boy. So even she has this mindset that girls should be tiny and delicate- I want to punch her idiotic face.