Some Kyle Headcanons I Have:
-Short, short, short, springs up to either 5’4” or 5’7” and never grows after that
-He loves his curls but keeps them in the hat because it keeps them out of his face (and he puts it into a ponytail b/c he isn’t giving anybody/anything the opportunity to yank it — he eventually goes no hat at all in 10th grade)
-9/10 is probably Autistic (is also fairly good at masking)
-Has OCD, can’t convince me otherwise
-Sleep? What sleep? His schedule is an on-and-off relationship
-On the basketball team, volleyball team, track team, and does winter sports recreationally because he’s a sporty boy
-Is also apart of theatre club, student council, and debate team because he wants as many extracurriculars on his college applications as possible (also, he enjoys being apart of various things he takes special interests in)
-He’s really good at playing musical instruments (guitar, violin, and piano specifically) and writing compositions but keeps it mostly to himself for various reasons, most involving Stan
-Insecure af to the point he never actually notices when someone is crushing/in love with him because he’s a) believing he’s undeserving or unlovable, b) oblivious as all fuck, c) misinterpreting all the social cues, or d) all of the above (insecurity is pretty/kind of canon though, lol) 😅
-Adding onto above that he’s praise driven and approval seeking to the point he looses his sense of self trying to live up to others expectations and opinion of him
-Sweater vests, turtle necks, and button-ups with corduroy or dark-coloured slacks (but also sweats when he’s wanting a lazy day)
-Goes back and forth between indie pop and alt. Rock music (his playlists are a mix of both)
-His anxiety and sadness almost always presents as irritation/frustration, so everybody typically assumes he’s pissed off when it’s the exact opposite (which then causes him to actually get angry later on)
-Contrary to what others around him think, he keeps most of his thoughts and feelings to himself (bottled up inside of him). While he’s almost always vocal about his opinions on the world and people around him, things that pertain specifically to himself are kept hidden because he doesn’t want to burden others with his issues (after all the problems he’s had with Stan or seen from him— he feels just as unheard by his sbf and others but he doesn’t feel like he can actually talk about his own problems, especially when Stan has a habit of going into “woe-is-me” and making it all about Wendy or Randy)
-He never actually had a crush on Heidi and has only thought of her as a good friend— his obsession over it was mainly due to two different facts: the first, he saw parts of himself in Heidi (smart, strong morals, wanting to extend a hand to others) and didn’t like he could see himself in that position (abused/misguided) and felt he needed to destroy it so it wouldn’t destroy a metaphorical version of himself. The second, he wasn’t about to turn a blind eye to verbal/emotional abuse, manipulation, or even assault (which, considering Heidi was vegan and Cartman switched her food and lied about it -food tampering- is considered a form of assault, especially as introducing meat proteins to someone who’s been vegan for even a couple of months or year can cause the individual to become physically sick) and his concern was misinterpreted by the girls (who didn’t seem to give a shit about it as they already tried convincing Heidi in a way that pushed her right back into Cartman’s arms and made her less likely to look for help, sadly) as him being in love and Kyle just went with it because he’s impressionable
-Hand gestures (talking w/ hands) and yiddish/hebrew are a must for emphasis— and for insulting people without getting in trouble at school 😈
-Everyone wants to do him, he only wants to do like 2 people if any at all
-Apart of the Petty, Dramatic Bitch™️ Squad (made up of himself, Cartman, Bebe, and Kenny, for clarification)
-Psychoanalyses everyone and everything
-Spends hours thinking about the who, what, when, why, and how of the universe and the human condition— goes down his own self-made rabbit holes as a consequence
-Should have probably been a philosophy professor ngl
Some of these are kinda canon in a way, but also kinda unofficial so whatever 🤷🏼
I have like 20+ more but i’m stopping the list here for now