#and celeste

[glubbity]

girls don’t want boys they want tsumugi centric fanfics

[multiversal-pudding]

I love when you hit one of those super hard levels but it’s super hard in a skillful way- like, you’re dying over and over again but you can just tell the deep understanding the maker of the game has of how the mechanics fit together, that kind of hard level that turns into a puzzle, what strategy works best here, how do I make this jump, what weapon can I use in this situation to give me the best chance of success?

Just... so good- 10/10 pain, would curl up in the corner and cry again

[nsmama]

Another thing about the Engarde trial. Part five, Celeste and dating someone who hurts you.

(Trigger warning: abuse)

(I’ll add a Wrightworth at the end because the rest of this is sad. And way too long.)

I keep thinking about Celeste. She’s a minor character but I know how she gets roped into Matt and I know how it goes when someone with a personality disorder throws you off. Been there, done that. And it takes years to recover from someone like that. I forget the timeline for Celeste, but I imagine she became entangled with Jerk Juan too soon.

Anyway, she was dating Matt. He made her feel like a million bucks and he treated her well and she was happy. She didn’t know he was trying to make her into his arm candy. But she resisted him doing that, and good for her! She must have resisted it, because that is how he would have become dissatisfied with her.

And so the gaslighting began, and the subtle emotional abuse. So subtle she didn’t see it for what it was. She bought the wrong brand of mayonnaise and he blew up at her, but she thought he just cared about the mayo and had had a bad day. The bad days got closer together. One day he threw something heavy at a wall. He told her she was going to leave him and she said she wasn’t, and he insisted she was. So she tried harder to please him and to show him that she cared. She told him that every day they had a choice, to stay together or split apart, and she chose staying with him every day. He told her to stop threatening him and she was utterly baffled.

One day he threw all her clothes and most of her belongings out of their home and wouldn’t let her in. The next day he apologized, saying he was going through some tough things with his career, and he promised to do better, and she came back and worked even harder to be his ideal help-meet.

He got tired of her when she stopped fighting and just did everything he wanted. He told her they were through, because she obviously didn’t love him the way he needed to be loved, and she needed to move out and he’d generously hired a moving company to take all her things to a storage facility which he’d paid for three months, because he was the kind one who had been wronged.

And she moved out, and she found an apartment, but she didn’t file a restraining order because he’d never hit her except that one time but it didn’t count, did it, because he didn’t mean to.

She found a new job and avoided Matt Engarde. She never told anyone what he was really like because who would believe her? She thought she really was the useless idiot Matt had called her, and when Juan showed interest she was so grateful just to be loved.

I don’t think Juan treated her badly, except that he loved himself and his rivalry with Matt more than he loved her -- which is bad enough, I grant.

I want to say something about this. I want to say that I’m old enough to be your mom and I’ve seen this, and when you date someone who makes you feel bad, it’s hard sometimes to see that you are not the problem. A good person cares about whether they are the problem. A good, kind person checks their own behavior. So you might see that you are not perfect, because nobody is, and you might think that you have proven that you are the problem or part of it, and then you try to do better.

And THAT is the key. You looked at yourself and you tried to do better. Is the other person in this relationship doing that? Both parts? Consistently and with real, measurable, long-term improvement? I bet Matt apologized sometimes and said he’d change. I bet he changed for a few days or weeks. I bet he didn’t care enough to make real changes.

If your partner makes you feel bad, they might be the problem, not you. Consider it and don’t date Matt. Or Juan.

---------

I promised you Wrightworth if you made it this far. Here you go. I made this one up yesterday.

---------

P and M are at home in the evening, both finishing up work.

P: [still looking at his papers] Hey, Miles, you know what’s weird?

M: [still reading, only half listening] Yes, I can generally recognize it when I see it.

P: ...

P: OH MY GOD, MILES, YOU JUST MADE A DAD JOKE!

M: ...

P: And do you want to know what’s awesome?

M: ... No.

P: I JUST DID THAT EXACT SAME ONE ON TRUCY THIS MORNING.

(I am in charge of dad jokes for my family and I manage this one at least once a week.)

[nsmama]

I have many thoughts about the Engarde trial. Part four, Matt, Juan, and Celeste.

(There is no Wrightworth in this post. I know; I’m surprised too.)

Matt Engarde looks just like a boy I had a crush on in high school. He acts like a self-centered jerk from the get-go, but he looks like a sweetie. (My high school friend was a nice guy who had a bad car crash experience and became a little sadder and wiser but no less adorable.) I didn’t suspect him until partway through the trial when it was clear he had a motive, and then the clues piled up thickly, so it wasn’t a big surprise when he literally showed his true face.

I have problems with Juan Corrida, who threw away the woman he loved because she had once dated his rival. Serious problems. His rivalry with Matt was more important than Celeste; he never truly loved her. He loved himself more. Jerk.

Matt is also a jerk, but his jerkwaddiness goes above and beyond. He doesn’t merely love himself. He doesn’t think anyone else matters. He uses people like they are toilet paper. I think he’s a psychopath.

Celeste was used and discarded by two men whom she believed were trustworthy. The first time, she got back up again and started over. The second time, she was watching out for the red flags, and because her first guy was a psychopath, she didn’t find those danger signals in Juan. She let herself trust. And Juan turned out to be a selfish jerk too, who deliberately hurt her. Again. She lost her footing in life. She lost her faith in herself. She thought she could never trust anyone again, but more damagingly, she thought she could never trust herself again, not with her own life choices or anyone else’s.

I’m so sad for Celeste and so angry at the men who tore at her heart until she thought -- incorrectly, my children, incorrectly! -- that it could never mend.

If you feel that way, try to hang on. The evil way others have treated you does not make you invalid. Give yourself a little more time, one day at a time. Please. The world needs what you have inside you.

[taptrial2]

i love blathers :(

[uncelebratedjuvenescence]

I’m gonna be changing character profiles pretty soon, especially with things like race and ethnicity.

I’m gonna read up on some stuff and correct the labels I put up -_-

I hate inaccuracies bleh, wish I got it right the first time

[spleen9000]

I wish there were more good video games with little or no combat