Just now i remembered something. A few years ago, before i realised i was lesbian, I was thinking how hard It would be coming out. I have a friend who is bisexual, and her parents were very horrible when she told them about her sexuality. I was thinking how hard It would be to have to be coming out as lesbian/bisexual every time you know someone new, wondering if they would accept you, dealing with constant stereotypes and homophobia and feeling predatory towards women. Having to tell your parents, having to explain yourself when heterosexual people never feel the need to do It. It was so so unfair. And a thought come up to my mind.
If i were lesbian, i wouldnt be able to say it. I wouldnt have the courage
And that thought hit me so hard. Because i was so supportive with my homosexual friends and telling them to stand up by themselves and not being afraid to say who they were...yet the simple thought of a possible coming out terrified me.
I felt so hypocrital and coward.
And, ironically, a year later I realised i was lesbian. I am lesbian. And, strangely, those thoughts never came up in my mind a single time. I was so sure I was a lesbian that i knew I would fight tooth and nails to not being ashamed of who i was. I wouldnt stay quiet and closetted and i would fight for my rights and the normalisation of my sexuality.
I didnt come out to my parents the same moment i discovered my sexuality. I told my open minded friends inmediately. But i didnt tell It to my sister until a year passed. And this winter i finally told my mom. I was sure she told my dad so i didnt come out to him. Some days ago, after the lesbian visibility day, and because of the comments of my sister, my dad asked me "so ...you feel lesbian?" And i said "no, i AM lesbian"
I wanted to tell this story because, despite all the fear i thought i was gonna experience, even if i felt and i still feel that fear, i am brave. I didnt stay in the closet. I fucking kicked that door.
I want to tell all my lesbian sister how strong you are. Because, sadly, even in these days, saying that we are lesbian is still a political and brave act. We shouldnt have to come out , just as no heterosexual does, but we do It constantly. So i tell you I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. YOU ARE BRAVE AND WORTHY AND BEAUTIFUL AND YOU'LL BE COMPLETELY FREE AND FEARLESS ONE DAY.
You did an amazing job. I did it.
And if you are still in closet, we understand. We are with you. And i hope someday you'll feel safe and confident enough to shout it out to the world and yourself.
I AM so so proud of you ♀️💜