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Some of the funniest one liners of Apocalypse.
“ The Cooperative has developed a particular and rigorous questioning technique we like to call "cooperating". I will then use the information gained to determine if you belong. ”
Wasteland, Baby! Part 2: Get Out of My Face, Out of My Mind. I See Your Corruption, I’m Not Blind...
Notes: Thank you all so much for the kind feedback on part 1! I hope you enjoy this as much as the first part. I promise it’ll start getting really interesting soon! Please feel free to message feedback, comments, etc!
Tags: @tribble-from-wonderland @ladynuwanda
Langdon’s smile sent chills up and down Maureen’s spine. She was nodding, but Venable cut in with, “Maureen isn’t available right now. She’s going to be getting your luggage from the carriage.”
Langdon hand slid down Maureen’s arm and his smile turned to a smirk.
“Very well. Looks like he will be going first then.”
With that, Langdon walked away and Maureen let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. Angelo’s face was mixed with concern, horror, and disbelief. The Anti-Christ just grabbed an angel and didn’t even recoil! Gallant followed Langdon like a lost puppy and Maureen followed Ms. Mead.
“Be careful with his things,” Mead said when they reached where the luggage was being decontaminated. “And don’t go poking your nose through his things.”
“I thought I was supposed to unpack it,” Maureen said, disgusted by the mask and protective gear she had to wear while handling the outer case of the luggage. It wasn’t like she’d mutate or anything. Mead waved her off, walking away to go find Venable. Maureen was left with the heavy luggage. Langdon brought several suitcases full of what Maureen could only guess might hold his brick collection. She shrugged the protective gear off and began dragging one suitcase to Langdon’s room.
“Just had to have the second-floor bedroom,” Maureen muttered as she dragged the suitcase up the stairs. Glancing around to see if anyone was around. The coast was clear so Maureen took a deep breath and the suitcase glided up the stairs. She happily sighed when she reached the top. A chuckle beside her made her gasp and jump. Thankfully, it was only Angelo, leaning against the railing with his eyebrows raised and his arms crossed.
“I saw that. Impressive. You have been listening to me.”
Maureen huffed and began tugging the suitcase along more.
“Of course, I do. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got two more of these to lug up here.”
Angelo snapped his fingers and the two suitcases slammed down beside the one she’d already brought up. Maureen rolled her eyes at Angelo and said, “You know you can’t be seen with me. Venable may flip.”
Angelo shrugged. “I’m waiting for Mr. Gallant. He asked me to wait for him after his interview.”
Maureen nodded and adjusted her dress. She was about to speak when the door opened and Gallant walked out. She bowed her head in greeting, but he looked too scared to even acknowledge her besides a glance. Angelo rubbed Gallant’s back and offered a supportive smile as they walked off.
“Maureen,” Angelo said as he waved farewell.
Maureen swallowed and watched them go until she heard scuffling. Langdon suddenly leaned out of his door and looked around the hall.
“You brought my luggage?” he asked, brows furrowed.
“Yes, sir.”
“Well, bring it in.”
“Yes, sir.”
Maureen began dragging one in and was surprised when Langdon followed her, also dragging one in. Goosebumps began forming on her arms. Having him near her filled her with dread. She was an angel, for God’s sake… and she was alone with the Anti-Christ. What if he sensed what she really was? What if he already figured it out? What if he was going to do something worse to her?
“W-would you like me to help you unpack?”
“If you’d be so kind,” Langdon said, but didn’t look up from unpacking. Maureen nodded and began to unpack his clothing. She noticed with a smirk that he wore mostly black clothing, but last she checked clothing didn’t slither.
Maureen screamed as a snake slithered out of his suitcase. Langdon rushed over as she recoiled, grabbing her arms to pull her away. He was holding on to her protectively and she returned his gesture.
“What is it? What is it?”
Maureen pointed to his suitcase, rambling hysterically as Langdon rubbed her back, looking from her to the suitcase.
“Snake? Is that what you’re trying to say?”
“Yeah,” Maureen managed to get out.
Langdon let go of her and walked to where the snake flopped onto his bed. He chuckled as he picked it up. The snake hissed at him but he hissed right back. Maureen gaped at him and this only encouraged Langdon.
“It’s just a snake. It must’ve wanted to come with me… silly little thing.”
Maureen didn’t calm down, however. She managed to stammer out, “H-how?”
“Well, I mean, don’t animals deserve a shot at salvation?”
“I suppose so.”
Langdon laughed at this, letting the snake go, slithering out of his room. Maureen watched it go, cringed, and asked, “Hey, isn’t that venomous?”
Langdon walked to his door, closed it, and smiled at Maureen.
“There. Now he can’t hurt you,” he said, walking back over and patting Maureen’s back.
They got back to unpacking his clothes in silence, with Maureen glancing at him every so often. He laughed at her, touched her, protected her, and yet she felt conflicted. She was supposed to fear him, and a part of her did. The other part was just confused.
“Michael,” he said suddenly. “Michael Langdon.”
Maureen looked at him. He was folding clothes but kept glancing at her.
“Maureen Alexander,” she said, holding out her hand. He looked at it for a moment but shook it hesitantly. She felt a chill go down her spine; she’d just offered her hand to the Anti-Christ.
There was a knock on the door. Langdon moved to open it, his intimidating demeanor returning as Andre Stevens walked in.
“Mr. Langdon,” Andre said, nodding his head in greeting.
Langdon did nothing but let him move by and sit in front of his desk. Andre watched as Langdon moved from the office side of his room to the bedroom side. Maureen tried not to look up or recoil as Langdon looked down at her.
“Would you like me to leave?” Maureen asked, still not looking up.
“No, if you’d be so kind as to continue…”
Maureen continued unpacking. She was warier than she was before, careful to make sure no pieces of clothing were hissing or slithering around. What really caught her off guard was how intense Langdon’s interview with Andre was. His questions were chilling and Langdon claimed to know if Andre was lying or hiding something. It made Maureen grimace. She silently began praying, hoping one of the angels or someone could hear her. Langdon mentioned a special skill: being able to see someone’s inner-darkness. She stopped what she was doing and listened closer. At once, Andre immediately began telling Langdon how much he hated his mother. It was as if Langdon opened the floodgates. Andre couldn’t shut up now. Maureen swallowed as she heard the confessions. Maybe Andre thought Langdon wanted cutthroat people? Nonetheless, Andre left in the same daze Gallant seemed to be in.
Maureen motioned to the closet. “Your clothes are in the closet. Shoes are along the bottom, pants are to the left, and shirts are to the right. Coats are far right. Your other items are in the box at the foot of your bed.”
Langdon raised an eyebrow at her. “Thank you,” he said almost impressed.
“Of course. Will you be needing anything else, Mr. Langdon?”
He cocked his head to the side. “My toiletries?”
“In your bathroom, sir.”
He exhaled a laugh as he checked his bathroom saying, “You don’t miss a thing, Miss Alexander. Will I see you at dinner?”
“No. I’m not dining staff, and Greys don’t dine with Purples.”
Maureen was assigned to dining staff when she first began working but a little situation involving her laughing aloud at Angelo gagging and choking on his gelatin cube got her moved to housekeeping. Her and Angelo didn’t need to eat and Maureen made sure she didn’t. Angelo, on the other hand, had to keep up the appearance of being human so he ate the slimy cube. Maureen carefully avoided the other greys so she could avoid being asked about food. After all, she wanted the other Greys to actually be able to eat. Her rations would go to someone who actually needed food to survive.
“We’ll need to arrange a time to interview.”
Maureen swallowed but nodded with a smile. She didn’t want to be alone with him again. Angelo was right. His darkness wasn’t overwhelming but it was enough to make her uneasy. It didn’t help that he was smiling down at her, tight-mouthed and amused.
“But, I think I’m going to save the best for last.”
That was like a punch to the gut for her. She returned the smile and scurried out of the room. As she left, she felt the air grow lighter. Relishing in the change, she began to inhale and exhale freely. This was cut short when Angelo leaned out of his door and hissed, “Maureen, come here!”
She looked at him with her eyebrows raised.
“What is it?”
He looked behind her and his eyes widened. Maureen followed his gaze and saw that Langdon was staring at them, an eyebrow raised as if he were implicating them already.
“My toilet is clogged! Fix it immediately, you Grey!” Angelo barked, grabbed Maureen by the arm and dragging her into his suite, locking the door behind her. He leaned against the door, suddenly shuddered, and immediately ran from the door. Maureen raised her eyebrows at his sudden behavior.
“Gallant said his interview was majorly creepy. Langdon started asking about—”
“Inner-darkness? Familial issues?”
“How’d you guess?”
“Angelo, I was there. I helped him unpack. I heard his interview with Andre.”
Angelo flopped down on his bed. “I need to stall our interviews somehow. He may not be as sinister as I expected, but he isn’t stupid. Our backstories got us by Venable but Langdon is a completely different story.”
Maureen sat next to him.
“He wants my interview to be the last he does,” Maureen admitted.
“Perfect! That gives me time to think up something about you.”
Angelo and Maureen discussed their thoughts on Langdon until dinner was ready. Angelo, who thought about skipping dinner, faking a stomach ache, blaming the not-clogged-but-totally-clogged toilet, or using his angelic powers to do something useful, finally made his way down to the dining hall. He took his usual spot next to Gallant but frowned when someone who wasn’t Dinah Stevens sat on his other side.
“You must be Angelo Francisco.”
Angelo forced a smile on his face as Langdon looked him over.
“And you’re Mr. Langdon. How nice to meet you,” he said, sitting stiffly as he felt chills go up and down his spine. He could practically hear the other Archangels urgently whispering at him. Langdon suddenly held out his hand and Angelo eyed it from the corner of his vision. He took it stiffly, trying to smile again.
The cubes were suddenly brought out, distracting Langdon from seeing Angelo wipe his hand on his pant-leg. Venable offered a few words, Dinah Stevens offered some dinner-wisdom, and Coco snapped at her. The usual dinner for Angelo. He sympathetically eyed Timothy and Emily, who were both cringing as they swallowed their cube.
“So, Angelo, my roster originally listed one Bishop Zambini as being here, but when I get here I see you: a gawky young man who looks more like a try-hard youth pastor than an infamous bishop.”
Angelo struggled to swallow his cube as Gallant and Coco snickered at Langdon’s remark. Coco immediately went silent when she saw Angelo’s sharp look. Angelo felt his blood run cold. Was Langdon onto him?
“We don’t talk about Bishop Zambini,” Angelo said, hoping to quiet Langdon.
“Oh, but you will,” Langdon persisted.
Angelo swallowed. “Fine then. Zambini asked me to go as his ward. I’m a priest—”
“Oh, a priest! Should we call you Father?” Coco asked, smiling a little too much at Angelo. He didn’t notice.
“Anyways, Zambini didn’t make the plane, so I took the parish’s housekeeper with me… Maureen.”
He wasn’t lying that much. Zambini was the worst bishop imaginable. It was easy for the angels to throw Angelo in his stead. Maureen was a lucky tag-along, posing as his ward. Well, she kind of was.
“Maureen,” Langdon mused. “She’s nice. Ms. Venable, make sure she’s the Grey looking over my room.”
The way he said it made Angelo grip his fork. It made Coco glare at Angelo in envy as if he were Maureen. It made Gallant do the same thing. It made Venable raise an eyebrow in suspicion. Lastly, it made Angelo run to his room where Maureen was clean and turn her around toward him and hiss out, “You are NOT to go near Mr. Langdon ever again!”
She nodded, eyes blown wide in fear. She’d never seen Angelo so mad in the time she’d known him. He looked mad, concerned, and most of all, scared.
Everyone being done with Michael in 8x02
except us
