#android narrator

[fishparasite]

i can't quite say incest haunts my android story anymore because it's gotten quite blatant but there's still something else there. something that does haunt it that's adjacent.

[rubye402]

For my birthday, I have finally finished all the references for my Portal AU for those who wanna draw the sillies!

Post Escape - Family

Pre Escape/Portal 2 - Family

GLaDOS

Nigel and Brandon

[fishparasite]

19 for android narrator?

19. What is your general favourite thing about the character? What is your least favourite?

what an interesting question for her...for favorites i definitely don't have a normal answer the first thing that came to mind was "her victimhood." which is insane. and then the second thing that came to mind was "her desperation."

to combine them, i think it's her desperation to not think of herself as a victim. her desperation to be thought of as more. more than objectdaughterloverobject. but she exists in this uniquely vulnerable state, made even more vulnerable by the fact that she's slowly gaining more of her body parts as the story goes on. i suppose my favorite thing about her is that nothing good happens to her. she comes to life to be tortured and she either dies alone or is stuck in the life she came into. there is no escape for her. there is no way for her to be well, to be happy, to be someone. the closest she'll get to someone rather than something is with [redacted], as a substitute for a daughter she never had that she would have hated, and a substitute for a secret lover she couldn't bring herself to care about. outside the apartment the story takes place in, she is spare parts. inside, she is abused.

crucially, though, she doesn't hate [redacted]. or rather, she doesn't only hate her. she idolizes her she loves her she wants to be more to her. (and in some ways she is, but that's for another post.) she hates her in some ways too, but the hate is so much less interesting.

my least favorite thing about her isn't so much about her but more about writing her and it's balancing the blank slate, android aspect of her character with the emotional, human side. but it's a struggle for her within the story too, to reconcile these. to find herself.

[fishparasite]

i don't know anything about your ocs but reblog karma gives me a chance to learn lol. skin, bound & desire for nate.

omg yay hi dw about knowing anything about my ocs i barely talk about them 😔

skin: How comfortable is your OC in their skin? Do they grapple with anything that lives inside them—a beast, a curse, a failure, a monster? How do they face the smallest, weakest, most horrible version of themself? Are they able to acknowledge it at all?

crazy question to ask for nate!! he is absolutely not comfortable in his own skin. he's from my most grounded story so he's no isolated cannibal or android but he's this big tall guy who's extremely uncomfortable being that way.

he does think of himself as a failure too. he hasn't really done anything with his life, just helped out his family who don't really like him that much. he got into a really bad fight as a teenager and that's all anyone remembers about him.

i don't think he'd be able to acknowledge the weakest version of himself. i think he'd ignore it and just continue doing what he's always done, not being able to face the worst parts of himself.

bound: Has your OC ever been imprisoned or captured? What happened? How did they get out? Did the experience leave any scars?

so nate has never been in this situation but it's a very interesting one to ask for another oc who's an android so you'll have to forgive me but this one's about her now.

she's a hacked android, the first time she's powered on As Herself she's already owned by someone else. she's been imprisoned her whole life. she doesn't necessarily think of the woman that owns her as being evil. she kind of idolizes her as the first thing she saw but wishes she would understand that the android isn't just some machine. she's a neglectful mother figure and a toxic lover figure to the android at the same time.

i think in at least one potential ending she does escape. as for how, and if it left any scars......well. who knows. who knows how long she lasts outside of the claustrophobic apartment which is the only thing she's known. who knows if she'll get what she really want, which is to be more human than she is seen as.

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

back to nate!! i think for a long time he placed so much weight on his own desires. "i want to leave this town" "i want to find someone to love" "i want to stay with my best friend"

at the point where the story starts, he's given up on all of that. he's not leaving anytime soon, he's not going to find anyone he loves, his best friend is nearby but they've been distant lately.

he DOES end up meeting someone he loves though and that's when the wanting starts creeping back in. "i want to stay with him" "i want to not fuck this up" "i want us to be somewhere else, in a different kind of situation"

he's absolutely not open with any of those. not to anyone. not even to his lover for a long time. the relationship is secret for a long time and he's not a very open person either.

also......not quite canon but........i think in a world where he and his lover DO leave the town they live in, nate might realize he'd be happier as a woman. transfem nate would start wanting things she couldn't even comprehend as desires when she was a man.

[fishparasite]

i miss android narrator too......

[fishparasite]

3, 8, 10 android narrator

3. What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?

oh definitely her role in the story. she's nameless and i'm still toying around with her appearance. but i knew who she would be from the moment i thought of her story. she's trapped, she's an android, she wakes up in pain. she's the victim and lover-but-not-really of a woman. we see the world, as small as it seems in that tiny apartment, through her eyes.

8. What is the origin of their personality? And let's be honest - how much of it is projecting?

it's an interesting question to ask for her because while she's not a blank slate, there are elements of her being a blank slate. not in a bad way, she just doesn't have the opportunity to develop one. she's thought of as an object. she's disregarded by the world. she looks up to the woman torturing her because it's the only thing she knows. she doesn't know who she is.

there are a lot of personal elements in this story, and there's a little bit of that in how she's been...reborn, in a way. born, in another. but i hate to think of it as projection. i'm hardly projecting onto this character when i mold her with my own hands.

10. What is their main character arc in the story? Where do they start and how do they develop? Do they get a happy ending or is their story a tragic one?

hm :)

she starts drowning in a bathtub and ends in one of four ways. but as i keep saying, "nothing good happens in this story."

i'm not ready to talk about her endings yet but rest assured that they make me feel sick. whatever that means is up to you for now.