Hey, love your fanfic and your metas. I have a thing that's been bothering me since I read your Azula rant a few months ago (which aside from this one thing, was AWESOME. GO THE FUCK OFF.). You bring up how Azula protected Zuko and looked out for him and he repaid her by treating her like she was a live wire meant to be pitied instead of helped. I agree that Azula was done dirty by the narrative, especially with your points added, but I couldn't help but feel that your reasoning for Azula being a better sibling to Zuko was based mostly on conjecture for her motivations rather than what was told to us from the show. So that brings me to my actual question: Should Zuko help Azula because he's supposed to as her family or because he's supposed to be a hero? And will the fic acknowledge their equal share in their toxic dynamic in later chapters?
I agree that most of my arguments on Azula's motivations are based on inference and not directly stated in text. If you don't find my arguments convincing than that's that. I can only argue my interpretation I can't tell you how to read it.
However, briefly I'd like to point out that Azula's motivations are muddled at best. I used killing the avatar as an example, because unless Azula is omniscient she had no way of knowing that Aang could have lived. She reacted with complete surprise when Zuko questioned if the avatar was really dead. If the show was telling us that Azula planned all along to throw her brother under the bus in case the avatar turned out to be alive, that doesn't really make sense. Azula's motivations aren't really made clear to us because 90% of the time she's being shown to us through Zuko's perspective who has very mixed feelings about his sister at best. Azula is also ultimately intended as just to be a part of Zuko's arc and foil to him not really her own independent character so like, I kind of have to infer her motivations.
Anyway, to addressing your actual question. I'm going to use an example to show what I think is the ideal development for Zuko and Azula's relationship by comparing it to another media. Namely, the redemption arc of Faith in Angel the Series. It's briefly covered in this video redemption for her but I'm going to write my own spin.
Faith is the other slayer, a girl chosen to hunt vampires in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Her intention with the start is similiar to Azula's, she's meant to serve as a dark foil to the main character and while Buffy triumphs Faith was destined from the start to take a fall. Faith is also the bad victim to Buffy's good victim. They've both suffered from severe physical and sexual abuse, but Buffy ultimately has a support system while Faith does not. Buffy is also unable to save Faith and basically gives up on trying, because she's suffered very personal abuse under Faith's hands.
Faith takes a fall from lack of any real support system just like Azula. She envies Buffy for the fact that Buffy has everything, a mom, a watcher, firends the same way that people in Azula's life (her mom, her uncle, Mai and Ty Lee also sidenote Mai and Ty lee aren't obligated to choose Azula she made those relationships toxic but like Azula's mother and uncle war criminal are just playing favorites) have always chosen Zuko over her.
Buffy: Why, Faith? What's in it for you? Faith: What isn't? You know, I come to Sunnydale. I'm the Slayer. I do my job kicking ass better than anyone. What do I hear about everywhere I go? Buffy. So I slay, I behave, I do the good little girl routine. And who's everybody thank? Buffy. Buffy: It's not my fault. Faith: Everybody always asks, why can't you be more like Buffy? But did anyone ever ask if you could be more like me? Angel: I know I didn't. Faith: You get the Watcher. You get the mom. You get the little Scooby gang. What do I get? Jack squat. This is supposed to be my town!
Faith basically has nothing, and she's defined by her lack of stability and identity. Similarly to Azula's breakdown, she's almost terrified by the idea of love. Azula can't trust people and can only resort to controlling them with fear because the person who should have loved her unconditional abandoned her and the only parent who showed her attention made her earn it and the person who modeled her relationships showed her how to control others through fear and obedience and that taints all her other relationships. Azula is a toxic individual who doesn't deserve Mai and Ty Lee's forgiveness, and she's also literally never been shown what a healthy relationship looks like and people can't understand that if they've never been taugh tit both of these things are true simultaneously. Faith envies Buffy's life but she's also terrified of unconditional love because abuse and abandonment is basically all she knows.
[Riley is on top of Buffy, looking down at her.] Riley: I love you. Faith in Buffy's body: Uggnnh Get off. No. No. No! [Pushing Riley away]Get-get off! No. Off me. Get off. No, no-o. G-get [Buffy stands] Riley: Buffy...What? What's wrong? Faith: (gasping) Who are you? What do you want from h-her? Riley: Should I not have...? Faith: This is meaningless. Riley: You're shaking. [He gets up and puts a blanket/sheet on her.] Faith: Nnnh. Riley: What happened? Faith: Nothing. Nothing.
Faith is committing sexual assault here, just by the way. Faith is honestly worse than Azula (they both try to do a mass murder for their daddies) and gets shown way more narrative sympathy than Azula ever does. But you know, Faith is also her own fully fledged character while Azula only exists to be a part of Zuko's arc and most of her deeper writing was Aaron Ehasz champining her cause. I guess Faith exists in a show where the writers allow women to be messy human beings.
Ursa: [appearing in the mirror] What a shame. You always had such beautiful hair. Azula: What are you doing here? Ursa: I didn't want to miss my own daughter's coronation. Azula: Don't pretend to act proud. I know what you really think of me. You think I'm a monster. Ursa: I think you're confused. All your life you've used fear to control people. Like your friends Mai and Ty Lee. Azula: [hysterically] Well what choice do I have? Trust is for fools! Fear is the only reliable way. Even you fear me. Ursa: [gently] No. I love you, Azula. I do. [Azula screams and hurls the brush at her mirror, breaking it; then collapses, sobbing]
As one final parallel both of them are aware on some level that they are a monster, and that their actions are bad. Ursa is just Azula's own mind telling her, so if Ursa is telling her that using fear to control Mai and Ty Lee is wrong then Azula is on some level aware of that. Faith and Azula define themselves as the bad one, and use that as a personal shield from both guilt and other's people rejection.
AZULA: "My own mother thought I was a monster... she was right of course, but it still hurt." vs. ANGEL: You can't imagine the true price of evil. FAITH: Yeah? I hope evil takes mastercard.
While Faith shares many parallels with Azula, I'd also like to point out the parallels between Angel and Zuko. They are both marked as having "the redemption arc" for their show. That's literally Angel's concept from day one, he's a vampire with a soul trying to atone for his past deeds. His entire spinoff show is Angel trying to find redemption by saving others. Zuko on the other hand is not only considered like one of THE REDEMPTION ARCS of all time but also his entire arc is learning that the fire nation was wrong and redeeming himself by joining the avatar the person he used to hunt and atoning for the ways he hurt Aang and his friends.
I think Zuko's character arc is much more similar to Angel's than Spike's to be honest (they're both characters in buffy who receive redemption). In that as you said above in your ask Zuko's arc is about him learning to be a proper hero. We don't really get to the part where Zuko like, develops his identity as a person outside of being a hero who saves others. Zuko does like learn to calm down and not express his rage and learns about unconditional love from Iroh but like his act of redeeming himself is switching sides and helping the heroes. Spike swithces sides too but that doesn't redeem him, Spike's redemption is gaining a soul himself and learning to develop his own morality and do good deeds for the right reason and not because he wants to get Buffy's approval.
In my writing I'm planning to continue it so Zuko has to let go of the notion of redeeming himself through heroism and instead has to learn that real redemption is trying to be a better person every single day, not defeating the fire lord and being a GOOD KING TM.
Back to Angel, he's a vampire with a soul. Rather he spent 200 years as a soulless vampire killing people and then he was cursed to have a soul and suddenly feel guilt and remorse for his actions. It's like how Zuko eventually realized he was on the wrong side. Angel can deeply empathize with Faith because he has been where she has. At the same time there's a marked difference. Angel's redemption was basically handed to him on a silver platter. He didn't decide to get a soul and start feeling guilt for his actions again it was forced on him.
The parallels between them culminate in Five by Five, one of my favorite episodes of television ever. Basically Faith has escaped the consequences of her actions and is running away from Buffy. She goes to LA and gets a contract to kill angel at which point a lawfirm will drop all murder charges against her and also continue to pay her to kill people form them.
While Faith is hunting Angel down, the episode flashes back several times to the series of events that started angel's redemption. First Angel deciding to murder a young girl, and getting cursed by her family to regain his soul and feel the guilt for what he did forever.
The next flashback depicts angel's mental breakdown after his ability to feel guilt is restored. He's immediately abandoned by his partner, another soulless vampire who finds his guilt and his soul disgusting. He's left alone with his guilt and there's no comfort in the world for him.
In the third flashback in spite of his guilt, Angel tries to be a monster again and go back to his old self by feeding on a woman in an alleyway only to find the guilt is too strong and he can't bring himself to kill her so he runs away in shame.
Buffy walks the really fine line between the fact that just because you feel guilty doesn't mean you're owed forgiveness or your feelings of guilt take priority over the people you hurt and also that it's painful feeling guilt and everyone at some time feels and struggles with guilt after hurting someone.
Angel is a mass murderer who feels guilty, which like yeah you should feel guilty. He's also a human being feeling genuine remorse with no idea how to make up for his actions.
Angel is able to sympathize with Faith because he knows that guilt, he knows that feeling that there's nothing you can ever do to apologize for your actions and it seems almost better to just kill yourself. To be so hopeless to believe you're just not capable of good.
Angel: (harshly) I can't do it again, Buffy. I can't become a k*ller. Buffy: Then fight it. Angel: It's too hard. Buffy: (desperately) Angel, please, you *have* to get inside. Angel: It told me to k*ll you. You were in the dream. You know. It told me to lose my soul in you and become a monster again. Buffy: I know what it told you. What does it matter? Angel: (raises his voice) Because I wanted to! Because I want you so badly! I want to take comfort in you, and I know it'll cost me my soul, and a part of me doesn't care. He sobs. Buffy is at a loss for words. Angel: Look, I'm weak. I've never been anything else. It's not the demon in me that needs k*lling, Buffy. It's the man. Buffy: You're weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. Maybe this evil did bring you back, but if it did, it's because it needs you. And that means that you can hurt it. Angel doesn't want to believe her. Buffy: (pleadingly) Angel, you have the power to do real good, to make amends. (raises her voice) But if you die now, then all that you ever were was a monster.
Angel has also previously in the show attempted suicide because he believed he wasn't capable of being better or ever apologizing for his actions and when that happened he had someone who believed in him unconditionally and urged him to keep living.
So, really what right does Angel have to deny Faith that same support? How can we believe Angel's truly grown as a person if he doesn't show other people the same kindness that's been taught to him?
Which leads to one of the most beautiful scenes in all of television.
Faith: "You're gonna die!" Wesley is almost done sawing through his ropes. Faith keeps hitting and kicking Angel. Halfway through this it starts to first rain then pour. Faith: "You hear me? - You don't know what evil is! - I'm bad! - Fight back!" Wesley has freed his hands and is untying the other ropes. Faith keeps whaling on Angel, sometimes he ducks, sometimes the hits connect. Angel grabs a hold of her: "Nice try, Faith." He tosses her away from him. Then walks after her. Angel: "I know what you want." She hits him and he hits back dropping her. She comes back up hitting and screaming, but not making much of a dent. Wesley leans out of the window and sees Faith beating up on Angel. He goes into the kitchen and grabs a butcher knife, then heads for the door. Angel as he dodges another hit: "I'm not gonna make it easy for you." Faith throws herself against Angel screaming: "I'm evil! I'm bad! I'm evil! Do you hear me? I'm bad! Angel, I'm bad! (She begins to sob, grabbing a hold of Angel's shirt and shaking him) I'm ba-ad. Do you hear me? I'm bad! I'm bad! I'm bad. Please. Angel, please, just do it." Wesley comes running out of the house. Faith sobbing: "Angel please, just do it. Just do it. Just k*ll me. Just k*ll me." Angel wraps his arms around her shoulders and pulls her against him. She over balances them and they sink to their knees, Angel still holding her as she cries. Angel: "Shh. It's all right. It's okay. I'm here. I'm right here. Shh."
As I said in my longass Avatar post we could have gotten this scene with Zuko and Azula. Zuko doesn't even have to necessarily forgive her, but we could have seen him at least embrace Azula out of sympathy at the lowest point in her life.
It would have been a parallel to the way when Zuko reunited with Iroh the first thing he did was hug him after Zuko was so worried his Uncle would never forgive him. Even if we didn't get a full redemption arc we could have just gotten this as a start, a sign that things might get better for Azula one day.
This is how I plan on writing Zuko and Azula's arc though. Zuko eventually needs to reach a place of self-awareness where he can help Azula get through the crushing guilt she feels because he's been there too. He had help when he was struggling at his lowest point, and now Zuko being that support for someone else is a way to demonstrate his growth as a person. That's a major theme I want to tackle in this fic, that helping the avatar and being a good firelord isn't the end to Zuko's development.
He can also do that while still holding Azula accountable for the hurt she's caused others and him. To emphasize she needs to actually do something to better herself, because feeling guilt isn't enough.
Faith: "Oh, maybe we - just don't mention it then." Angel: "Maybe we do." Faith: "Are you saying I got to apologize?" Angel: "Think you can?" Faith: "I don’t' know. - How do you say 'Gee, I'm really sorry tortured you I nearly to death?'" Angel: "Well, first off I think I'd leave off the 'Gee.' And secondly I think you have to ask yourself: are you?" Faith: "What?" Angel: "Sorry." Faith: "And what if I *can't* say it? There are some things you can't just take back, no matter how sorry you *are*, right?" Angel: "Yeah, there are. I've got some experience in that area." Faith: "Right. And you've been doing this for a hundred years! I'm not gonna make it through the next ten minutes." Angel: "So make it through the next five, the next minute." Faith: "I don't think I can." Angel: "Yes, you can." Faith walks away: "God, it hurts. I hate that it hurts like this." Angel follows her: "Oh well, it's supposed to hurt. All that pain, all that suffering you caused is coming back on you. Feel it! Deal with it! Then maybe you've got a shot at being free." Faith lets out something between a laugh and a sob: "I've got to be the first Slayer in history sponsored by a vampire." Angel: "Yeah, well, I've got some experience in that area, too."
Once again the fine line between "Yeah, you should feel guilty when you hurt people that's how it works" and also "You can still live with the guilt and get better."
As for Azula and Zuko's relationship and the way I plan on writing it, first and foremost I plan to make things get worse before they get better.
I do want to portray Zuko and Azula as being equally bad to each other. Azula was willing to throw Zuko under the bus for her father's favor. When Zuko is firelord though and the tables are turned and he has power over her, the way he treats her isn't exactly great let's say.
It's almost like abuse is born out of an unequal power dynamic and not just something that bad people do to innocent victims.
I know so far the narrative is incredibly slanted towards Azula, but one I'm just writing the way Zuko acted in the comisc, and two it's from Azula's perspective. Now that Zuko is finally getting his POV I plan on covering a lot of his pain from the way Azula hurt him too.
If you've ever read Interview with a Vampire and the Sequel Lestat, I'm planning on doing something similiar to Lestat and Louis' divorce arc. Each of them narrates a story from their own perspective and each of them paints the other in the worst light possible while highlighting their own qualties.
Also to some extent I do think Zuko believes that he's "the good one". That part of his treatment for Azula comes not from anything Azula's done, but from projecting his worst flaws onto Azula because they were both groomed by Ozai and wanting to convince himself he's NOT LIKE THAT.
Whereas Azula views Zuko as an ungrateful trait. I think they'd both have to essentially get over it. Zuko betrayed the fire nation because the way Azula and Ozai treated him was wrong and the fire nation was wrong. Zuko can't play good victim bad victim. You don't become a good person by pointing the finger and scapegoating someone else as evil, you do it by working on yourself every day.
The way I want to model their relationship is something like Sanemi and Giyu, or Blackfire and Starfire. The pain that they caused each other is legitimate and shouldn't be shied away from but also both ulitmately grew up and survived the same abusive household together. That's a special kind of understanding that they have for each other that no one else does, and I think Zuko needs that understanding from someone. Ursa ran away, Kiyi is an innocent kid, I don't think he could connect with either of them the way that he could with Azula who shared Zuko's same abuse.
Forgiving Azula and seeing how her trauma affected her can also be a way of Zuko forgiving himself and learning about himself. He can look at Azula's abusive behaviors and be like, oh I do that too. I'm not quite over that yet. It's impossible to be truly over the ways my abuse affected me, but I can keep working on it.
This is basically the note I want both of them to end on where they're both still working on redemption together.
ANGEL Faith, wake up! FAITH (wakes) I've rolled the bones. You for me. ANGEL (walks away from the fight with Angelus to talk to Faith) I used to think that. That there'd be a point when I'd paid my dues. ANGEL Faith, listen to me. You saw me drink. It doesn't get much lower than that. And I thought I could make up for it by disappearing. FAITH I did my time. ANGEL Our time is never up, Faith. We pay for everything. FAITH It hurts. ANGEL I know. I know.
Anyway, thnak you for the ask. I'm happy you're interested in my fic. If you have any more questions of comments on my fic feel free to send them.
