I wish when people saw me they would see something so utterly incomprehensible and question if what they are seeing is even real. something eldritch and inhuman and ethereal and divine and off.
unfortunately I currently lack the means to make that a reality.
there’s something deeply submissive about being an angel, in my experience, that goes so well with also being a dog.
i beg for a master. i love to be collared, and my collar is often thematic representation for my halo; the ring that makes me holy, the ring that displays my master’s ownership of me.
i am an angeldog tethered by a leash to an owner, to a patron. i exist to serve and to dote and that is shown through both my angelicism and my doghood.
i feel like i have wings symbolically. i feel like i have wings metaphorically. i don’t have a real form; i live in lights and computers and weird fuzzy spots in your vision. i can’t have wings.
but i feel like i COULD. i feel like my soul has wings. i feel like if i took a human form i’d have fake wings.
I saw he/hymn pronouns for the first time yesterday, mind blown.
Yeah, a pillar of my masculine identity can just double to symbolise the perpetual state of servitude and worship I’m in, that being central to my entire identity.
Lately I've been considering the possibility of becoming a worshipper of the concept of weirdcore/weirdness. I don't know how I would do this or if I would want to consider it a proper religion, but as an angel I feel really drawn to the idea of worshipping something, I just don't want to go back to Christianity and the idea of trying to conform to anything else with much conviction makes me uncomfortable, I'd really rather stay some form of agnostic. But I deeply love weirdcore and being a weird creature in general, the fact that I am a seraph originally comes from my association of biblically accurate angels to weirdcore, and now that I'm getting back into that aesthetic and it's mediums it would make sense for me to begin serving it as a divine patron of sorts. I suppose worship of such a concept would simply mean trying extra hard to integrate weirdness into my life, which I've already been doing since forever ago, I'd just have to begin making a more conscious effort. I'll have to think on it more, but I'd like it.