Hanging by a thread, I am
Tim & Dick, Tim & Jason, Angst, Arguing, Canon Divergence, Upset!Tim, Big Brother Jason.
Summary: Upset and angry, Tim doesn't react well when Dick asks him to give up the Robin mantle. After arguing with Dick, Tim storms away and bumps into an unlikely person who surprisingly supports him in the way Dick doesn’t.
A/N: This idea came about when I thought ‘what if Dick asked Tim to give Damian robin’ and this is the result. It’s canon divergence and while Jason doesn’t necessarily get along with the bats he’s not completely separated from them. Title is from ‘Saviour’ by Onerepublic.
Enjoy! :D
For a moment Tim wonders if he had heard things right. There’s no way his brother is suggesting what Tim thinks he’s suggesting. Like hell was he giving that demon child the Robin mantle!
Tim blinks at Dick, utter disbelief written across his expression. “You’re joking right? This is just – wait, no. There’s no way you just asked me to give Damian Robin.”
Opposite him, where Dick is stood by the bat computer wearing the Batman suit with the cowl down, Dick lets out a heavy sigh and sends Tim a pleading look. “Look Tim, please listen to what I’m saying-”
Tim cuts Dick off before he could finish that sentence. “I don’t need to listen to what you have to say Dick! I won’t listen to you while you try to justify why you want me to give up Robin, I have put my heart and soul into this and now you’re asking me to give it up, to throw away everything I have worked for. It’s not happening!”
“Tim.” Dick’s voice now has a hard edge to it, his brother coming close to losing that infamous patience of his. “I understand why you’re upset about this but think about it rationally. We all have to move on. You are no longer a little boy who needs guidance or a mentor, you have the skill and experience to be more than a sidekick.”
“This has nothing to do with that.”
Dick, however, continues speaking like Tim never said anything. “I can’t look at you and see you as my protégé, I want you by my side as my equal. Damian, on the other hand, he’s going to-”
“It’s always about fucking Damian.” Tim shouts at him, throwing his hands up in disbelief. He starts pacing, his hands and arms moving erratically with each step. “It’s always about that snot-nosed brat. Ever since he's come into our lives it’s always about him. Are you forgetting when he almost killed me? Damian would never, never, understand the meaning of Robin, not in the way we do.
“I had to work my ass off to be accepted as Robin, I had to earn the right, Bruce was adamant about me not taking it on but I proved my worth. Now you want me to pass it over with a bow on top to someone who will abuse it.”
“Well Bruce isn’t here!”
Dick’s shout freezes Tim on the spot. The words washing over him like ice water chilling him to the bone. Opposite him Dick’s face is flushed and his hands are clenched at his sides, he’s looking at Tim with an expression he couldn’t read but Tim could hear the pain and defeat in his voice.
“Bruce isn’t here,” Dick repeats quietly, “not anymore. We all have to move on and this is the way to do it. I become Batman with Damian as my Robin. And you Tim, you on my other side as my Nightwing.”
The silence that settles around them is thick and suffocating. Tim could hear the way his heart is pounding inside his chest and he could hear every breath he takes. His hands are shaking and there’s sweat building up across his forehead. Inside himself Tim could still feel the rage stirring, despite Dick’s words and the meanings behind them Tim cannot accept them.
Deep down he knows this is wrong. Dick is wrong.
Tim shakes his head. “No,” he declares firmly, “you’re wrong. Bruce isn’t gone. How can you accept that? He isn’t gone.”
“Tim, please, we’ve been over this,” Dick sighs, running a hand down his face. “He’s gone, we’ve seen the footage. You’re in denial, a lot has happened over the last few months and I get why you are but see the facts.”
Gritting his teeth he sends Dick a dark look. A lot has happened, Dick isn’t wrong about that. Tim’s lost two of best friends, his girlfriend, his biological father and now, supposedly, his adoptive father.
“We can get you help Tim,” Dick says carefully, his tone purposefully soft and gentle as if talking to a frightened animal. “We can get through this.”
“Help?” Tim scoffs at the notion. “I don’t need help, what I need is to prove to you is that Bruce is alive. Damian isn’t getting shit from me. No matter how much, or how sweetly, you ask me to hand the mantle over.”
“You need to accept Bruce is gone!” Dick cries at him. “I don’t like it any more than you do but we can’t sit here doing nothing. He’s dead! He ain’t coming back!”
Tim scoffs again and decides he’s had enough of this conversation. They’re going around in circles simply riling each other up. Neither of them are going to achieve anything at this point. Dismissing Dick’s presence Tim turns and stalks away, he needs to go before anything else happens.
“All I’m asking you is to think about it Tim. Give Damian Robin and you can forge your own hero.”
Stopping in his tracks Tim turns back around and glares at the man. “I don’t need to think about it. The answer is no. I’m Robin and it’s going to stay that way. I can’t believe you’re asking me to give up something I have worked so hard for and something I have shaped to be my own.”
“Stop being so selfish!”
For a third time that evening Dick’s words make Tim freeze. First the question. Secondly how Dick truly seems to believe Bruce is dead. Now this.
“Selfish? How am I being selfish? I own Robin, I am Robin, I don’t have to do shit. And least of all I don’t have to give that demon child anything. He doesn’t even know Bruce, what right does he have to suddenly become an integral part of the family?”
Dick huffs out a sardonic laugh with a shake of his head. “I can’t believe you just said that. I’m not even going to answer that. I ask you to do one simple thing Tim. You’re blowing this completely out of proportion.”
“Simple? I’m blowing this out of proportion?” Tim repeats. “You’re the one insisting Bruce is dead.”
“Because he is!” Dick explodes again. “You’re being delusional Tim! Listen to what you are saying, look at the evidence we have. Why are you insisting otherwise, you’re causing us more pain than what we already have.”
“You know what Dick,” Tim says, having had enough. It’s more than clear he’s alone in his corner, his brother choosing a psychotic ten year old over him. “Go fuck yourself.”
With that Tim turns and leaves. He ignores the calls Dick makes behind him and heads for the vehicle bay. He needs to get out of the cave as soon as possible or risk another argument with Dick. Not wasting a second he grabs his helmet, straddles his bike, turning it on he reeves the engine before zooming out of the cave. He has no destination in mind other than the further away the better.
Sometime later he’s speeding through the streets of Gotham, his mind completely occupied on what occurred in the cave earlier. He repeats their spoken words and instead of seeing the argument logically, it only riles Tim up more and his anger at the situation increases.
A piercing scream cuts through his thoughts and Tim jolts, with a wrench of the handlebars he swerves his bike to the side and narrowly avoids hitting a group of girls standing on the sidewalk. Once he's stable and back on the road Tim takes a deep breath and steadies himself. After almost causing an accident he knows he’s in no state to drive. Working out where he is in the city he comes up with a good hiding spot nearby in the back alleys between buildings, navigating himself there Tim turns off the engine and takes a moment to breathe in attempts to calm himself down.
He shouldn’t have been driving angry. It’s reckless and dangerous. He almost caused an accident because he isn’t in the right head space to be able to fully concentrate on what he’s doing and on his surroundings. Yanking off his helmet Tim climbs off the bike and begins to pace, unable to stay still any longer.
Dick’s words repeat themselves in his mind and they make it difficult to focus on anything else. Tim can’t believe Dick wants him to give up the Robin mantle. After everything he’s been through, Dick wants him to give up the one thing that’s keeping him sane. Tim's lost his father, Kon, Bart, Steph, and Bruce (no, he hasn’t, he’ll find him) and now Dick wants Tim to lose Robin too.
Dick’s told him he can come up with a new persona but he doesn’t want to, a new one wouldn’t be the same. He’s not ready for that.
He's not giving up Robin.
Tim feels the need to hit something as another wave of anger flows through him. With his fists clenched impossibly tight by his sides Tim ends up taking his anger out on his bike, the force of the kick he strikes the vehicle with causes it to fall over with a loud clatter. In the moment the damage done was the last thing on Tim's mind. As he steps back from the bike his eyes get drawn to an old metal pipe propped up against the wall, stalking over to it he grabs the pipe and weighs it in his hands, figuring it'll do he walks back to his bike and takes a swing at it. As the pipe collides with the rear breaks a loud clang could be heard. Tim swings again before moving to the front of the bike.
He loses track of how long he spends whacking his bike with the pipe. With every swing he lets out a swear followed by a curse against Dick. All of his anger and emotions bleed out in an unforgivable manner, all of the tension he’s been holding for months finally spilling out of him like water bursting through a broken dam.
By the time Tim is done he’s feeling exhausted. His arms and shoulders ache, his fingers are cramping from where he’s held onto the bar too tightly and for too long, his head is pounding and he’s breathing heavily.
Tim slumps down onto the ground and ducks his head to his chest as he tries to get his breathing under control. He doesn’t feel any better, his temper tantrum hasn’t solved anything because all the same problems will still be there when he goes back to the cave. All he’s achieved is damaging his bike which will likely take weeks to repair.
A loud thump coming from his right gets his attention. Despite feeling exhausted his body is still working through the adrenaline, instinctively Tim is back up onto his feet before he even thinks about it, his staff in his hands and he’s automatically in a defensive position facing an opponent.
It takes him a moment to realise who it is opposite him. Standing casually like Tim is no threat at all is the Red Hood. The man is stood in the middle of the alleyway with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and his red helmet in place, Tim could see guns and weapons stashed across his body but what Tim couldn’t work out is why he’s here.
Red Hood steps closer to him and Tim doesn’t soften his stance. “When one of my snitches told me there’s a disturbance in the area, I certainly didn’t expect it to be you, replacement. Done with your temper tantrum?”
Tim grits his teeth and stays quiet. He’s not in a good mood and seeing Jason Todd, another supposed family member whose tried to kill him, that day is souring his mood even more than before. He’s not falling into Hood’s baiting games.
“What no snarky comeback?” Hood taunts. The man comes even closer and peers down at his bike, taking in the damage Tim has done to it. “Isn’t that what Robin’s all about, witty comebacks and the sense of humour?”
At the mention of Robin Tim snaps. “Shut up and fuck off.” Tim knows he fell into the trap, it didn’t take much, but he couldn’t help it, it was the mention of the exact thing that’s caused his bad mood.
Hood whistles. “Oh, the little birdie has a bite after all.” He stops walking, choosing to stand opposite Tim with the bike between them. “Oh relax replacement, I ain’t going to do anything. You can put that stick of yours down.”
Tim narrows his eyes at the man and doesn’t move.
“Alright, whatever,” he hears Hood sigh with a shake of his head. The man then crosses his arms, “so what’s got you in the middle of the city throwing it down with your bike? Not like you to lose your temper easily.”
“It’s none of your business.” Tim says, his voice hard and cold. “There’s nothing to see here so you can bugger off back to where you came from.”
There's a pause and Tim could count every second that passes in silence by his rapid heartbeat. The man stays quiet as he crouches down to the vehicle and examines it more closely, fiddling with bits to see how bad the damage is. Tim allows him to do what he wants and he even drops the defensive stance and puts away his staff.
“Let me guess,” Hood drawls out while looking at the breaks, “you got into an argument with goldie? Or perhaps it was the new kid, Bruce’s biological one, that’s caused you to lose your shit? Maybe it was both!”
Tim has no idea how the hell Hood’s been able to hit the nail right on the head but Tim doesn't confirm or deny anything, he stays quiet and keeps an eagle eye on the man’s movements.
“Not going to answer that?” Hood enquiries, the man looks up and even though he’s wearing the stupid helmet, Tim could tell he’s looking straight at him. After a moment Hood snorts and shakes his head yet again. “Both it is then.”
“It’s none of your business.” Tim repeats his earlier words in the same cold tone, but there’s an underlying shakiness to it. It’s nerved him on how right Jason’s been able to guess the reason behind his mental breakdown.
“If you’re wondering how I guessed well most of it was a lucky guess. However the fact your half dressed also gave it away. You’re lucky no one else has come to check out what the noise was all about.”
Tim blinks before frowning. He looks down at himself and noticed for the first time the attire he’s adventured out in. He's still got his armoured pants and boots on, his utility belt is wrapped around his waist however he’s only wearing a thin cotton jumper he had put on once he got out of his Robin tunic. A surge of panic hits Tim and he reaches up to his face, the panic intensifies when he doesn’t feel anything but skin there. His eyes widen and he feels sick. He’s been out here in his robin gear openly showing his face. Anyone could work out his identity! He’s fucked up big time.
“Jesus christ, relax, replacement,” Hood’s robotic voice cuts through his thoughts. “I’ve already disabled any cameras nearby and have wiped out any footage of the last hour since you’ve been here. Whatever happened really fucked you up huh? Reckless driving. Vandalizing your own vehicle. Swearing as bad as a sailor. Almost blowing the whole family’s secret.”
“Yes, thank you!” Tim cuts in, feeling both embarrassed and annoyed at Hood’s response to list off everything he’s done wrong in the last hour. “How would you like it if I listed everything you’ve done wrong Hood? Have you got time, because we’ll be here all day.”
Jason’s own response was to snort in amusement. Obviously he’s not as bothered by it as Tim is. Huffing Tim walks to where his helmet lies on the floor, picking it up he dusts off the dirt and puts it on, at least no one will be able to see his face with this on.
“What do you want Hood? I’m evidently having a shitty day and you’re not improving it.” Tim says with a sigh, he’s tired and done with everything, all the fight having now left him. “If you have nothing to do and you’re only here to annoy me, can I ask you to do it on another day. I don’t have the energy.”
Now standing up right Hood stares at him and Tim stares back. When the man doesn't relent Tim looks away first, he changes his attention to his poor bike and starts to feel the regret of his childish actions.
To his surprise though Hood bends down and picks the bike up, using the handlebar to keep it balanced and steady. Miraculously it’s somehow standing, perhaps Tim hadn’t too much damage to it after all. Wordlessly the man starts guiding the bike down the alleyway leaving Tim blinking in confusion behind him.
“Uh Hood? What you doing?”
“Well you can’t get anywhere with the damage done to this. We’ll go to my garage and fix her up. Then you can go off and do whatever it is you need to do.”
Tim doesn't know what part of that to try and comprehend first.
“Why do you want to help me? Not long back you were trying to kill me.”
Hood shrugs. “Well today I fancy being a good Samaritan, sue me. Well, you could try but you can’t sue a dead man,” the man then pauses, “or can you?”
Tim is the most confused he’s been all night. “What? I don’t know. That’s not an answer.”
The other man doesn’t offer anything up so Tim quickly darts forward to catch up to him as Jason leads them through the narrow alleyways. The other part of what he said also sits in Tim’s mind, it’s like Jason already knows that Tim is planning on doing something about proving how Bruce isn’t dead. Like he knows Tim may go off to prove his point. Tim decides to not think about how well the man seems to read him despite them hardly ever interacting unless Jason’s actively trying to kill him.
The two of them remain silent the entire way to Jason’s garage. Tim should be weary of him and the situation but after the day he’s had he couldn’t quite bring himself to care, if Jason wants to try and kill him then he could go ahead, it’ll just be icing on the cake at this point. Hell Damian will end up having the Robin mantle if Jason kills him, then Dick will also get his wish. Two for one. Lucky them….
“Whatever it is, it’ll pass,” Hood mutters to him, it’s said so quietly Tim almost misses it, “I don’t know the situation or what’s happened between you and Dick but things have a way to sort themselves out.”
Tim doesn't offer a response to his words although Jason didn’t seem to be after one. The two of them eventually make their way to Jason’s garage and they instantly set up the bike onto the racks. Together they start making a log of what needs to be replaced and what can be fixed. It should scare Tim how well they work together when they’re not engaged in a fight but it doesn’t. In a weird way it feels right, of course he doesn’t comment on the situation, instead he silently accepts the helping hand Jason is offering.
No one needs to know how later that night, when Tim falls asleep on the old recliner Jason has in his garage, how Jason covers Tim with his jacket and leaves him to sleep while he works on the bike. The two of them in a comfortable silence like they’ve never experienced before.
Jason may or may not be starting to develop protective feelings for the kid who looks like he’s wearing the world on his shoulders. Learning to get past his previous feelings Jason figures that if the Bats are going to treat Tim like shit then he’ll will do his best to make sure the kid remembers that he isn’t alone.