#angypubby

[sugarpubby]

yk whats sad ?

growing up black i was never really afforded the privilege of being seen as anything but non-human

realizing i was black aka my first "awakening" was brutal and painful

being nuerodivergent (audhd) only made things more confusing

ive always been treated like a creature before i knew i was one myself

therianthropy feels like a locked box ive been shoved into at times

on the brightside...

i dont really concern myself with mainstream standards of existing

as i know said standards werent made for me

and will never apply

but more representation is needed regardless

[sugarpubby]

i want my gear to be here alreadyy i wanna feel more like me grrrr

[sugarpubby]

when they have a cute/interesting blog but reblog nazi shit

[sugarpubby]

“girl” has become a charged word for me. i dont hate it in a vaccum but it feels like being branded with a hot iron and locked in a cage

because of my genitalia i have been assigned to play the gender performance of a girl

we also live in a white supremacist society, and i am not white

the standards of how girls and women should be and behave are rooted in white supremacy, i by definition do not fit into that box, yet these standards are still forced on me

i dont like it

i wish our society wasn’t so binary and racist

[sugarpubby]

anypony question if they genuinely like anything ??

im just going about my day and then i just freeze like do i even like/wanna do this ??

like i just feel too much pressure to compartmentalize myself, it doesnt matter what im doing !!

like if its a hyperfix my life gets a complete overhaul and the hyperfix is the only thing allowed nothing else

i just wont do it or i wont look at it anymore if it doesn’t pertain to the hyperfix

im incapable of having different things coexist

it triggers me like i wanna rip my skin off

it bothers me so much because im multifaceted !! but i cant fucking express it at all

you can only express yourself in so many ways and if theyre all being gridlocked by one thing its impossible

autsim fucking sucks sometimes