Warnings: This is kinda angsty but also not... idk you tell me. I’ll add warnings y’all think are necessary because I suck at that and I’m sorry.
A/N: I randomly came across a song on TikTok one time and that is what sparked this idea. You should check it out. It’s called The First Time by Sam James
There was a faint snoring that was coming from the man beside you, a ticking of a watch that was placed on the bedside table echoed as well. Normally these sounds wouldn’t drive you as crazy as it was right now. A slight glance at the glaring red numbers on the alarm clock next to him told you it was just passed 3am. What felt like days ago when you crawled into the bed with him those numbers had only read 9pm.
As you laid awake memories ran through your head like a carefree child running through a field of daisy’s. Nights like this used to be your favourite. Here in the eerie silence with the cold black of night and the miles between you and the man next to you, that was no longer the case. It was rare that Jake was home early on a Friday night with no plans for Saturday. They used to mean early nights of movies and cuddling and talking until the sun came up. Now, you weren’t sure when the last time was that you shared something other than surface level pleasantries.
Nearly two years together was a huge accomplishment for the both of you. Neither of you had been big on long term relationships prior to each other. That was why you found yourself silently suffering in nostalgia. Things had been a little different lately. You’d both fallen into a routine and slowly started neglecting the things that made you feel so close to each other. Almost like you’d forgotten why you fell in love.
Pulling you from your musings, Jake huffed as he rolled onto his side. Watching him turn away from you, a deep ache settled into your chest. An ache like this had never happened to you before. You missed a man that was right beside you. The absence of his snoring was only slightly comforting while you allowed yourself to spiral down memory lane. You couldn’t help your own sigh while thinking about the late night walks down the beach, holding hands the whole way. Those ended a while ago.
It was almost 3:30 in the morning when you couldn’t take it anymore. You slid out of bed as slowly and quietly as possible. Nights like these, when he knew he didn’t have to worry about waking up, Jake could be a heavy sleeper. Creeping down the stairs you were glad tonight was one of those nights. Tonight, while the house was quiet and dark you would wallow and eat ice cream from the carton.
Tomorrow with the sun rise, you would pretend like you slept fine and things weren’t off between the two of you. With the sun rise, you could pretend like the little bickering that had started recently was normal. You could pretend like it didn’t bother you. With daylight you could act like you weren’t hurting because despite it all, you were so stupidly, madly, crazily in love with the man in your bed.
It would be nice to be best friends with your boyfriend again but this was uncharted territory. The waters were choppy, and the waves won’t stop coming in for their attempt to drown your love. The last thing you wanted to do was make him feel like this wasn’t good enough for you and it all to end. You would rather doggy paddle for your life to keep him in this way than risk losing him forever to the tide. So, a night of wallowing and ice cream would just have to be your coping mechanism.
The refrigerator door was hanging open, the light shining bright enough to illuminate the spoons in your silverware drawer. Your phone was quietly playing Jake’s Spotify playlist, a mix of songs he always said reminded him of you. It’s been at least two months since he’s added a song to it. You had gotten one bite of ice cream before you felt arms wrap around your waist.
“What are doin’ down here, darlin’?”
His voice was thick with sleep and the drawl of his accent sent shivers in all the right places. When you turned around in his arms you could see his hair sticking up in every direction. He looked like something the cat dragged in but you’ve never thought he looked more handsome. The spoon was still in your hand as you wrapped your arms around his neck and did your best to hide the fact that you were allowing the waters to pull you under. Even if just for a moment.
“Couldn’t sleep, so ice cream. Obviously.”
You felt the low rumble in his chest rather than heard his laugh. His arms tightened around your waist when you planted your feet firmly on the ground so you could turn back around. He had no intentions of letting you move from his view. There was an intense scrutiny happening and you hadn’t even realised it at first. His brow knitted together slowly and yours arched in response.
“You gonna tell me what’s really botherin’ you, sweets?”
The silence was different down here, mostly because of your music playing. Still the faint buzzing from the refrigerator was his only answer, aside from the slightly ashamed look that crossed your features. If the floor opened up a hole to swallow you, that would be preferable to answering that question. It was still dark. No sun on the horizon yet. Just a pale blue glow in a tiny kitchen shining on the wallowing you were allowing yourself.
Another song started up, faint guitar building into one of your favourites on the playlist. He had sung this song to you so many times, back when things weren’t so stuck. Part of you was hoping he’d just start humming, spin you in a few circles and forget about the pain in your eyes. You knew him too well, which was why you sighed.
“I really miss you.”
Confusion splashed across his face as you fought to come up for air. He clearly didn’t understand why you were drowning in the same water he was floating happily in.
“Do you know how long it’s been since we’ve talked about anything with substance? Since you’ve kissed me on the beach like we were the only two people on the planet? You’ve not sang me this song in so long…”
You hated how it sounded like your voice was cracking as if you’d swallowed too much salt water. A look flashed across his face, one you couldn’t place. The impending tide was slowly sweeping in and you were too tired to doggy paddle against it. And then it swept out, leaving nothing but sandy beach beneath your toes. You had no idea you could still touch the ground until the water was gone.
“It’s been too long,” he sighed heavily and you didn’t know it was possible but his arms tightened around you even more. “I’m so sorry, darlin’. You deserve so much better than what I’ve been givin’ you lately.”
It was startling to realise that the ground was still under your feet, and that Jake had a hold of you so tightly you couldn’t have drowned if you wanted to. As you looked up into his face you could see the weeks, the months tallying up in his head. You could see the choppy waters finally catching up to him.
The sand beneath your feet was a jolting feeling. It sunk between your toes and anchored you to the ground as the waves started to roll in again. You noticed almost immediately that you weren’t needing to doggy paddle anymore. Maybe Jake’s arms around your waist and his chest pressed to yours was the buoy you needed.
“I think I know what we need,” Jake finally muttered. The slow growing smirk on his face had the beat of your heart racing, but this time it wasn’t in fear of drowning. Now it was anticipation. You’d been together long enough to know that look in his eyes.
An arched brow gave him enough but you hummed in question still, hoping he’d elaborate a little more. Instead of words though, his arms unwrapped from you as he reached for the ice cream still sat on the counter. Ice started melting down the sides of the carton, pulling into a puddle on the counter top which was surprising because of the chill from the fridge still being open. Once Jake had replaced the lid and shoved the sweet treat into the freezer he grabbed the spoon from your hand and replaced it with his own.
“We gotta put time in to get back to normal, right? So, tonight I’m taking you back up to bed and I’m gonna fuck you like it’s the first time,” he’d tossed the spoon into the sink and had pulled you into his chest as he spoke. That smirk still prominent on his face. “And then tomorrow, we’re gonna stay in bed until noon. We’re gonna party with our friends in the evening, and then I’m gonna take you on a walk down the beach so you can fill me in on everything I’ve missed the last few months.”
A hand came up to your cheek, cupping your jaw as his eyes met yours. For the first time in so long you felt like the waters were calming, like you were no longer in water too deep to touch. You could stand here, and if the waters ever got choppy again you knew that Jake was your buoy. A smile pulled your lips up, and you didn’t have to worry about a mouthful of salt water anymore.
“I think you had me at taking me back to bed, Cowboy.”
Ask game: couch (or chair, bench, somewhere people sit)
you get an excerpt from possibly one of my favourite fics ive written
Amorous As This Lovely Green | Drarry | E | 14.5k | Oct 2023
Pansy was already sat there, ankles neatly crossed, shoes abandoned under the table.
She pointed to a takeaway coffee cup on the table. “You two looked rather cozy up there. Anything to tell me?”
Draco groaned, tipping his head back against the sofa cushions. “Fucking hell, Pans, are you trying to kill me? He's so hot, and he’s so... nice? Like, I expected him to run the moment he saw me, but he thanked me for not identifying him at the Manor and told me to call him Harry. How am I supposed to be professional under these conditions?”
Pansy snorted, and he was immediately transported back to the Slytherin Common Room some decade previously, Pansy’s feet tucked under his thigh as he ranted about Potter and his friends. “You are entirely predictable, Draco, I knew you would be exactly like this, which was half the fun. The other half was seeing Potter’s face when he saw what he was going to be modelling. But seriously, he’s employed me for nearly three years now. Do you really think he would do that if he was the same prejudiced boy you remember?”
“I hate it when you’re right.”
“I’m always right, you should be used to it by now.”
I feel like no one likes this but I’mma keep doing it.
The floor to the infirmary was cracking.
That's what Lance woke up to once the pod decided to just straight up eject him. No one was there to break the fall, so he collided with the floor with a grunt looking down at the finite cracks which seemed to deepen when he fell out. Specks of black shined brightly back at him from in between the cracks, but he ignored it for the moment as he sat down gently trying to remember what events lead him to getting into a healing pod.
Oh right. The mission.
More of a disaster waiting to happen than a mission itself. Shiro had found a group of refugees needing assistance on a planet near to where they had flown. Claiming the galra were trying to take back the newly freed colony. Being the valiant heart that he is, Shiro insisted they help them immediately despite the absolutely shitty day they all had been experiencing. Pidge hadn't slept within almost 38 hours, Hunk was in a bad mood due to a kitchen failure, Coran and Allura both mentally tired from the campaigning they had been doing, and Keith and Lance had both been beating at each other over the training simulators. Needless to say in hinds sight the mission was bound to go wrong in someway.
He remembered stepping off the ship with the others still black and blue from where Keith had 'accidentally' turned the gladiator up to high. So essentially every time Lance moved he was moving and pinching some bruise on his body. Keith was relatively fine, apart from a forming bruise on his back from when they were sparring and Lance forcibly shoved him away with strength he didn't even know he possessed. His exhaustion mainly came mentally, the wear and tear of dealing with Lance taking its tole. Lance didn't blame him, it was rather tiring to argue with Keith anymore, but it was how he kept himself being the annoying goofball, so he had to continue picking petty fights he supposed.
The mission should have been simple. Fight the galra, kick some ass, and get them out of the star system so the refugees could sleep easy for at least a night.
The real mission went something like this.
Keith and Lance both were fighting to keep a barrier up while Pidge and Shiro sneaked on board of the ship. Hunk was already unconscious in his own lion due to a hard hit from earlier. His vitals showing he was fine, but Lance was more than a little stressed out. Keith yelling in his ear wasn’t helping either. "Lance protect Hunk! You're leaving him wide open!" Keith yelled out as Lance had to twist his lion around in order to avoid being hit by the Ion cannon.
"I'm trying to here! You're not exactly working with me!" Lance snapped back trying to keep himself together and failing miserably at the moment. He knew the response was too snappy, he should have attacked Keith and shouldn't have stated something that was actually true. It was Shiro's job to analyze them working and tell Keith that, not Lance. "Just-just help me get Hunk over to safety! Though it'd be great if he could wake up any time soon!"
"Stop complaining both of you and work together to get Hunk out! Pidge and I are already to deep inside to be shot out. You can go!" Shiro called in through the communicators. Lance gritting his teeth together as he watched Keith lower the barrier at the wrong time and Blue jolted harshly as she was hit directly in the head. Lance groaned in the aftermath of the blast, watching as blood dripped from between his eyes and onto the suit he was wearing. 'Shit... that's not gonna come out in the wash...' His mind snapped immediately as the world slowly bled back together.
"-nce! Lance are you alright!?" Keith called out as Blue flew away and next to Yellow. She seemed to be almost on auto pilot from Lance who just nodded before realizing Keith couldn't see his nod.
"Yeah 'M fine... Let's just get this over with." Lance answered back after a moment, his eyes blinking harshly to get the colors and shapes in Blue's cockpit to come back into a cohesive sight. He switched his attention back to Hunk sliding out of Blue's seat almost in a blur. "I got Hunk! Keith cover me!" He called out walking on wobbly legs towards the exit. He just wanted his mission to be over with, for Hunk to hop in a pod and for him to... to what? He didn't have a plan of anything to do other than watch the weird environment that was his room morph around. He didn't go back to someone else. Pidge was too busy trying to find her brother and father, Shiro and Allura went off together to do who knows what, Keith went back to relax or train... Hunk went to bake with Coran. He... Lance didn't have a reason to go back really. Other than returning Blue. Logic decided to step in at this point. He was needed to fly Blue! That's why he had to go back!
Allura once stated that she could fly all the lions if needed. She would take up Blue's mantel and probably better than himself.
Who else would.... would make bad jokes? Flirt and be a general nuisance? He wasn't needed except to fly Blue at the moment and even then his job was disposable. Lance didn't have a thing. He thought about this once before, before It had started to speak in his head. It seemed to have put his body on auto pilot in the real world. Lance's head throbbing so much he barely noticed as his body moved around against his will. He remembers helping Hunk onto his lion. A flash of Yellow heading back towards the general safety of the ship. Something exploded...? Lance thinks? He remembers hearing something yell as he was helping the large mass onto the comforting Blue presence before hurting a lot. That's all he can remember.
So that leaves Lance to where he was now. Laying on the cold floor of the infirmary wondering where Hunk was, and why no one had bothered to check on his pod in what seemed like a while. Though it could have been just a few minutes, Lance had just been sitting thinking. Well not sitting, but laying. He was laying down and thinking... What was he thinking about again? Lance couldn't remember. His head hurt, and so did his chest. However, Lance couldn't find any energy in him to move at the moment, so he sat instead and watched the floor crack into little spiderwebs.
He would figure out what he had been doing later. After all, it's not every day that the floor to the infirmary cracks.
look i said i would only do this if england won but then i remembered that i dont give a fuck, so have some uefa trophy x harry kane gothic fic im going to go hide now
It loomed above her, forbidding, its columns stark in the glow of the lamps. She shivered.
He was waiting for her as she stepped out onto the field of green, standing, watchful, shrouded in the darkness of the tunnel that seemed to go on forever, the maw of a great beast, ready to devour and despoil.
The wind tugged at her ribbons, as she stood there, like a beacon in the shadowy space, its great roof leaning over her until it parted to reveal the heavens above, the stars where she was made.
His steps were heavy on the stairs, a thud that echoed in her hollow body, a poor copy of the great roar that should have filled this place on her arrival.
Stepping out into the faint light, she saw him clearly, and shivered. He was pale, pale as a dead man, and his shirt red stained. Even the lions on his chest seemed to watch her covetously.
The darkness seemed to swirl around him like a cloak, a raven’s wing of night that threatened to swallow her whole.
She wanted to run, to hide, praying to God that someone, anyone might save her, but this place was a maze of paths that she did not know, and there were watchful eyes everywhere.
“I’ve been expecting you,” Sir Harry Kane said, “UEFA European Championship Trophy.”
~~~
She was carried along a corridor, long and dim, great windows that let in no light flanking them like ghostly mirages. She did not know who carried her, but their hands were warm, clammy, as though they too were afraid.
Down stairs so steep and long that she could have sworn they would lead her into the depths of the earth, to hell, where the souls of a damned danced to a torturous tune. She could almost hear the pipes calling her, the screams of the souls bound to fire forever echoing in her ears as suddenly the stairs ended.
Ahead she saw a pinprick of light, a hope, no matter how small, glimmered in her heart. But between her and it were figures, some in white, pale as death, some in blood red, spirits of the damned, whose screams she could still hear, echoing inside her.
She had no control, no way of crying out, of begging not to be taken towards that light which had seemed so hopeful at first glance. She did not want them to see her.
Rough fingers stretched out to touch her ribbons, to caress her curves, and if she could, she would have flinched away.
One hand reached for her, but it was slapped away by another, a familiar hand that she would know anywhere, and the trickle of ice cold fear became a deluge so great that she might drown in it.
The light that signalled the end fell on the face of Sir Harry Kane, impassive and still, but there was a touch of lust in his eyes that frightened her more than the groping hands from unseen men.
He whispered something, but she could not make it out over the screams that grew louder and louder, buzzing against her, and she cried out in pain and fear.
A pedestal, and the flash of light, bright as lightning and twice as terrifying almost overwhelmed her. She felt as though she might die, cease to exist, the life inside her draining away as wine from a cracked cup.
But the final trace of lustful fingers around the narrowness of her waist, the curve of her body was a reminder, and yet one that made her tremble with disgust. She was nothing but a thing to be won, and she felt those eyes upon her.
And she prayed to every god that existed that she would be free of those eyes.
here is an excerpt from a little a/b/o fic im writing (alongside my 17 fests...)
Harry Potter has long since learnt that the universe is a cruel beast.
Because apparently soulmates exist. Could his life get any more complicated? Apparently so. and although according to Pansy he didn’t have to mate with his soulmate, he would probably want to.
He had asked if she had met hers, and she had rolled her eyes and described him as a belligerent and irritating cunt and she wouldn’t go within ten feet of him even if she was paid a million galleons.
Because the universe is a piece of shit.
from a fic for an anon fest that i will not mention but shhhhhh...
With all traces of their impromptu tryst dealt with, they took down the silencing charms and Harry stuck his head out into the hall to check it was empty.
It wasn’t.
Ron paused, plate of cake in hand, looking at Harry in surprise, then in despair.
Harry gave him an apologetic smile and let Draco step out behind him.
Ron sighed. “I don’t know what else I expected when the two of you vanished. I just hope you cleaned up after yourselves because I will absolutely rat you out if someone finds a splash of something unmentionable on their cloak.”
hmmm which one shall i choose, what a difficult choice...
from Tickling The Ivories | E | 5k | Dec 2023
Wrapping his hands around Draco’s hips, the contours of his hipbones sharp against his fingertips, Harry withdrew slowly until just the head of his cock was still held in blissful warmth, before thrusting in sharply, pressing Draco into the piano, his musical cry echoing through the house. Harry kept up the rhythm, and the rippling song of Draco’s voice and the slapping accompaniment of skin on skin was better than any of the records that Harry had stashed in the cupboards, and purer than any sonata the piano had ever played, rich and warm, full of feeling and desperation, building to a crescendo of thundering chords.
Unwilling for the song to end so soon, Harry paused, leaning forward so that he could press his chest to Draco’s back, reaching for Draco’s hands, splayed on the table, smiling into the bruise he had bitten on the nape of his neck as Draco immediately spread his fingers, allowing Harry to intertwine them as he began to grind their hips together in shallow thrusts, barely pulling out, pressing them together as closely as possible. Draco keened loudly, words falling from his lips like rain.
