could you write a smut for will smith where him and reader go raw for the first time and will literally cant control himself at the new feeling
thanksss
heaven and back
tft master list masterlist
Pairing: tft!will smith x fem!reader
wc: 3.6k
Content Warnings: oh boy... where to begin. NSFW, unprotected sex, explicit smut (mf), roughness, marking, possessive will(?), creampie, you're a whiny girl who cries a little when your boyfriend fucks you.
AN: MEOW MEOW MEOW
Synopsis: you and will fuck raw for the first time! yay!
part one part two
The front door to his apartment slammed behind you with a sound that should’ve woken the neighbours. Will’s mouth was on yours before the lock clicked, his hands fumbling with the knot of your bikini top as you backed toward the stairs.
The hallway wall hit your shoulder blades hard enough to knock a gasp loose, but Will swallowed it with his mouth, his teeth catching your lower lip as his fingers tugged at the knot of your bikini top. The fabric gave way with a wet snap, saltwater dripping between your breasts as he palmed one, his thumb brushing over your nipple with a roughness that made your knees buckle. You fumbled with the button of his trunks, laughing against his mouth when it refused to budge. "Fuck—" Will groaned, breaking away just long enough to shove the fabric down his hips himself, kicking it off somewhere near the staircase.
The banister dug into your back as he lifted you, your legs wrapping around his waist instinctively. You could feel him—hard and hot against your stomach—as he carried you up the stairs, his grip slipping once when your wet skin slid against his. "Oh, fuck," he muttered, nearly tripping over the last step, but you were already pulling him down the hall, your fingers tangled in his hair as you backed into your bedroom door. It creaked open under your weight, and suddenly you were falling, the mattress hitting the back of your thighs as Will followed you down, his body covering yours with a weight that stole your breath.
His mouth trailed down your neck, sucking at the salt still drying on your skin, and you arched into him, your hands scrabbling at his shoulders.
"Off," he demanded, tugging at the knot of your bottoms.
The thought flickered through your hazy mind—how lucky you were that the apartment was empty, that no one would hear the way the bedframe groaned as Will shifted his weight, his hips pressing yours into the mattress. (you really didn’t want a repeat of last time when Mack had to listen to you go at it like rabbits and then help you two fix Will’s bed.) His fingers fumbled with the drawer of his nightstand, knocking against the lamp, and you could hear the crinkle of foil before he even pulled the condom out. You reached for his wrist before he could tear the wrapper open. "Don't," you breathed, your voice already wrecked, and Will froze, his pupils blown wide. "Will, please. I need you now."
"But—"
"You know I'm on the pill, Will, please just fuck me. Please."
The moment Will’s tip skimmed your slit, dragging through the wetness there, you swore your vision whited out. His touch was deliberate, teasing—the bastard knew exactly what he was doing, circling your entrance with the tip of his cock but never pushing in, just letting the heat of him hover there while you whimpered into the crook of his elbow. "Will," you gasped, your hips bucking uselessly against his restraint, "stop being such a fucking—ah—"
His laugh was dark, uneven, as he dragged the head of his cock through your folds again, smearing your slick between you. "Such a what?" he murmured, his breath hot against your jaw. "Say it."
You could feel him grinning against your skin, the cocky bastard, and you dug your nails into his shoulders hard enough to make him hiss. "Tease," you spat, but it came out half-moaned, your voice cracking as he finally, finally pressed the tip inside—just enough to stretch you, just enough to make your back arch off the mattress.
Will groaned, his forehead dropping to your collarbone as he inched deeper, his hips rolling in slow, torturous circles. Every drag of him sent sparks up your spine, your thighs trembling around his waist as he bottomed out with a curse. "Fuck," he breathed, his voice ragged, "fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck—"
Will groaned, his forehead pressed to yours as he rocked deeper, the drag of him so slow it bordered on cruel. "You feel—" he started, but the words dissolved into a hissed curse as you clenched around him, your nails biting into his shoulders. "Jesus Christ, keep doing that and I'm not gonna last."
You laughed, breathless and unsteady, but it caught in your throat when Will pulled out almost entirely, the head of his cock just barely inside you before he pushed back in with a sharp thrust that knocked the air from your lungs. "Asshole," you gasped, but your hips arched up to meet him anyway, your body betraying you with every ragged breath.
Will grinned down at you, his hair damp with sweat and saltwater, his eyes dark with something hungrier than you'd ever seen. "You love it," he murmured, dragging his cock through your folds again just to hear you whimper. His thumb found your clit, rubbing slow circles that had your thighs shaking, and you nearly sobbed when he slid back into you—this time with no hesitation, no teasing, just one smooth stroke that buried him to the hilt.
The sound you made was obscene, half-moan, half-scream, and Will's hips stuttered like he hadn't expected it either. He choked out a moan, his grip on your hips tightening as he set a brutal pace, each thrust punching a broken noise from your throat. The bedframe slammed against the wall in time with his movements, the rhythm so relentless you could barely catch your breath between gasps.
And then it was gone.
"Will," you whined, your voice cracking on the single syllable, and his smirk was downright sinful as he traced your entrance again, the tip of his cock catching on your folds just enough to make you sob. "God, you're dripping," he murmured, his voice thick with awe, and the way he said it—like he was discovering something sacred—sent heat crawling up your neck.
His thumb brushed your clit in lazy circles, and you nearly screamed, as he pushed back in, your nails raking down his back hard enough to leave raised red lines in their wake. Will hissed but didn’t pull away, his hips grinding against yours in a slow, torturous rhythm that had you seeing stars.
The sound ripped from your throat before you could stop it—a guttural, desperate moan that didn’t even sound like you, raw and unfiltered in a way that made Will’s hips stutter mid-thrust. His breath hitched, fingers digging into your hips hard enough to leave bruises as he stared down at you, eyes wide like he’d just discovered something earth-shattering. “Jesus Christ,” he choked out, his voice wrecked, and you barely had time to process the awe in his tone before he was moving again, deeper this time, his cock dragging against some spot inside you that made your vision blur.
You were close—so close you could taste it, the heat coiling tight in your belly—but the second Will’s rhythm faltered, his breath coming in ragged gasps against your neck, you slapped a hand against his chest. “Wait—wait—” The word came out slurred, your fingers twisting in his sweat-damp hair as you pushed him back just enough to roll your hips beneath him. Will groaned, his grip on your thighs tightening as you flipped him onto his back in one clumsy, drunken motion, the mattress creaking in protest beneath you.
The moment you straddled him, sinking down onto his cock with a gasp, his hands flew to your waist like he was afraid you’d vanish if he let go. “Fuck,” he breathed, his head dropping back against the pillows as you rocked against him, slow at first, then faster, your nails scraping down his chest just to watch his abs clench under your touch. His throat was flushed pink, sweat glistening in the hollow of his collarbone, and you couldn’t resist leaning down to drag your teeth over the sensitive skin there, sucking until his groan vibrated against your lips.
Will’s thumb found your clit again without hesitation, his touch rough and uncoordinated in the best way, and you nearly sobbed at the contact, your thighs trembling around him. His words dissolved into a groan as you clenched around him, your hips rolling in desperate little circles that had his fingers twitching against your skin. The pressure built like a storm, every nerve in your body alight, and when Will’s breath hitched, his grip on your hips turning bruising, you knew he was close.
The sound that tore from your throat was raw—something between a gasp and a sob, pitched higher than you’d ever heard yourself before. Will’s hips jerked beneath you like he’d been electrocuted, his fingers digging into your waist hard enough to leave crescent-shaped indents in your skin. “Fuck,” he choked out, his voice shattered, and you could feel the way his cock twitched inside you, pulsing with every ragged breath he took. “’M gonna cum.”
You didn’t recognize yourself—the way your body moved, the noises you made, the sheer need that had you grinding down on him like you were trying to fuse your bones together. Will’s hands slid up your sides, rough and desperate, his thumbs brushing the underside of your breasts before settling on your hips again, guiding you into a rhythm that had your vision spotting at the edges.
The words left your lips before you could stop them—raw, ragged, barely recognizable as your own voice. "Inside, please—Will, I want—" Your plea dissolved into a moan as his hips snapped up into yours, his cock hitting that spot deep inside you that made your thighs tremble. You could feel him twitching, pulsing, his breath coming in uneven gasps against your neck.
Will groaned, his fingers digging into your hips hard enough to bruise. "You—you're sure?" His voice was wrecked, strained with the effort of holding back, and you nodded frantically, your nails scraping down his chest. "Yes, yes—Will,please— inside, inside, inside!"
Will didn’t need to be told twice. His hips jerked up once, twice—then he buried himself deep with a groan that sounded ripped from his chest, his fingers tightening almost painfully around your waist as he came. You could feel it—the hot pulse of him inside you, the way his cock twitched with every throb, the sharp exhale that ghosted over your collarbone like a prayer.
The sensation hit you like a lightning strike—sharp, sudden, inescapable—as Will pulsed inside you, his release triggering your own with brutal efficiency. Your body clenched around him in erratic waves, your nails digging crescents into his chest as pleasure ripped through you with a force that left you gasping, shaking, your thighs quivering against his hips. The orgasm tore through you until you collapsed against his chest with a sob, your forehead pressing into the sweat-slick hollow of his throat.
Will’s hands slid up your back, slow and reverent, his fingertips tracing the ridges of your spine like he was memorizing them. His breath was still ragged against your temple, his chest rising and falling beneath you in uneven hitches. “Holy shit,” he murmured, his voice hoarse, and you could feel the way his laugh vibrated through you, warm and disbelieving.
Summary: Dex and his neighbor become good friends, so much so she only trusts him to take her virginity.
Based off this anon message
Note: I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT BUT HERE IT IS I HOPE YOU GUYS LOVE IT
She’s the purest thing he’s ever known, and she lives right down the hall from him. Dex liked to keep his space neat and tidy; it was never dirty or out of order. He never allowed anyone into his space. Dex valued his privacy and, even more so, his alone time, despite feeling the lows of such often. Everything was a routine he had to strictly follow: wake up, shower, get ready for work, work, come home, be alone.
She ended up fitting into his routine, somehow. Only someone as pure and kind as she could find her way into Dex’s space--and so easily, too. She had recently graduated from New York University with a degree in forensic science and was living alone for the first time.
He’ll never forget when she started talking to him in the elevator, one rainy evening.
“What floor?” He asked her.
“6,” she replied. It was the same as his. Dex clicked the elevator button.
“You work for the FBI?” She couldn’t help but notice the large letters on the sleeve of his navy blue jacket. Dex typically took it off before going out in public, but that day’s mission had exhausted him so much, he forgot to.
“Yes,” Dex answered and shifted uncomfortably. He wasn’t used to friendly conversation with strangers. It was natural for him to have his guard up.
“That’s cool,” she sighed. “I just graduated from NYU last year. I got a job at the 15th Precinct in their forensics department, but working for the FBI is a dream of mine. Do you like it?”
“It’s tough,” Dex said. “It pays the bills.”
The elevator dinged. If he weren’t on the same floor as her, he’d be happy. He let her exit the elevator first and trailed slowly behind her. She waited for him so they could walk in tandem. He sighed, realizing he had no escape.
“Do you mind if I come by sometime and ask you questions about your job? I’m new to the area—new to living here, and I’d like to know that I have a personal FBI agent to call a neighbor and—friend,” she smiled at him. Dex squinted his eyes slightly, amused by her outgoing personality and interest in his job. He wasn’t particularly a fan of being put on the spot like this, but seeing the way she looked so hopeful at him—who was he to say no?
“Sure.”
And that’s how she ended up sitting across from him at his kitchen table, notebook on her right side, a cup of decaf coffee on her left. It had been like this for a year now—like clockwork, she was at his door at 11 PM, sometimes even later (depending on when he came home from work) to talk about his day and ask questions about anything related to his job. Dex grew to look forward to these late-night conversations with her—it was oddly reminiscent of his meetings with Dr. Mercer.
Now, he knew these weren’t therapy sessions, and if anything, he was the one giving her advice and information, but it was comforting to talk to her about his day. He found comfort in explaining his job duties and answering any curiosities she had. She was kind, probably the kindest thing in his life right now, and he needed that. He found it harder to sleep if she didn’t come by and spend an hour with him talking about his job.
“Wow,” she breathed. “So when you guys detain whoever you need to, how soon does forensics show up to the scene?”
“They’re already on their way before we even lock the handcuffs,” Dex said. He watched as she scribbled something in her notebook. He only recently noticed how attracted he was to her—he only ever saw her at night, and she was always, more often than not, in her pajamas. He started to take notice of her rotation. Last week, she had light pink polka dot ones on. Tonight, she’s in a plain light blue set. Next was probably her black silk ones. It was always in her natural state that he saw her. No makeup, disheveled hair. Friendly smile. Curious and his favorite part, attentive, eyes.
He rarely ever saw her during the day. He was up at the crack of dawn going to the headquarters, and she was always in three hours later. She always came home before him, and when she’d hear Dex’s familiar knock on her door, she knew he was ready for their nightly catch-up.
Neighbors catching up…friends, like she said one time. That’s what they were, Dex supposed.
He didn’t think of this as an almost every night thing. After the first few nights, he let her into his apartment, Dex thought it was a done deal. On the fifth night, just as he was about to get in bed, he heard a knock at his door.
“I brought ice cream,” she was holding two tubs of Ben and Jerry’s in her hands, and squeezing her notebook under her arm. “Mint chocolate cookie or strawberry cheesecake.”
Dex grabbed the mint chocolate cookie from her grasp and let her inside with a tired smile.
He had also grown a bit protective over her as her neighbor.
He remembered one time he got home from work at 10:30 PM—earlier than usual. He knocked on her door three times—it was his signal that he was ready and home—but there was no answer on the other side of the door. Dex pressed his ear against it and listened for any movement or sound. Nothing. He checked his watch and saw it was nearly 11:00 PM. It wasn’t like her to not be home already.
He pulled out his phone and called her. It immediately went to voicemail.
Dex clicked his phone off and rested it on his lips. The increasing heaviness in his chest was something he only felt when he was on missions—he was anxious. Is she okay?
Something inside of him locked, or maybe, unlocked at the thought of her never coming home. The thought of her never sitting across from him at his kitchen table ever again. It unlocked a feeling he kept hidden away as best as he could, despite it being the most constant thing in his life. Feeling abandoned—left behind. Alone.
For the first time in his life, Dex didn’t want to be alone.
Dex was too numb to go back into his apartment. He pressed his back against the wall of the hallway and slid down to sit on the floor. He decided he would wait there until she came home.
After an hour of staring into nothing, but mentally replaying all the times he’s had someone leave him, the elevator doors dinged. Dex was too tired to look at who it was, too afraid of disappointment if it wasn’t her. He kept his eyes forward.
“Dex?” She started walking faster towards him. “Are you okay?” Dex whipped his head up and immediately stood up on his feet.
“Yeah,” Dex nodded, his voice feeling thick and dry. “I was—worried. About you. Your phone…”
“It died,” she explained. “And I forgot my charger. I ended up staying late to finish up some work. You waited for me here?” She asked with a hint of a smile on her face.
“Yeah,” Dex nodded, meeting her eyes finally. She still looked as wide awake as ever, full of energy and positivity he wished he could emulate. Something compelled him to wrap his arms around her and bring her close in an embrace—so he did. He sighed in relief. “Don’t forget your charger again,” he said in her hair.
“I won’t,” she pulled back, suddenly catching on to the seriousness of his tone. “Rough day? Is it too late to talk in your apartment?”
“Not if it’s too late for you.”
It was strange, the effect she had on him. It only grew more intense after each night together. Dex watched her carefully now, across from his table. He couldn’t remember the lat time he let someone get close to him. He couldn’t remember the last time he had allowed himself to connect with someone since Dr. Mercer passed away. It was the first time he possibly found a new North Star. He hoped this one wouldn’t go out.
She brought a warmth to his apartment that it was lacking before. He never spent time at the kitchen table unless it was the morning and he was having his coffee before work. He never thought he’d spend most of his nights here, with her, talking about his day and duties as an FBI agent. She was part of his routine now. And if there’s anything about Dex, it’s that he doesn’t like when his routine is disrupted.
“Can I ask you something we haven’t talked about before?” She looked up from her notebook and placed her pen down on the table. Dex shrugged his shoulders. There wasn’t much he wouldn’ttell her at this point.
“Anything,” he said.
“Have you ever had to kill someone?”
It took a lot to catch Dex off guard. But this was a question he wasn’t expecting to be asked so blatantly.
“In the line of duty, obviously,” she followed up quickly, responding to his reaction.
Dex held her gaze—he didn’t want his answer to drive her away. In case it did, he wanted to memorize the way she was looking at him right now. The hopeful curiosity. The kindness without judgement in her eyes. He broke eye contact and sighed.
“Yes,” Dex said, rearranging the napkin holder in front of him.
“Because you had no choice?”
“Yes,” he lied.
She shook her head. Not in disapproval, but in disbelief. “I can’t imagine that. Do you—do you remember the first time you had to?”
Dex does remember his first time killing someone. But it wasn’t in the line of duty as an FBI agent. It wasn’t even when he served time in the army.
It was when he was a child and had dreams of becoming a baseball star. The memory flashed in Dex’s mind as quickly as the baseball ricocheted off the fence and hit Coach NAME in the head.
“I do,” Dex said. “It was a cartel member. We had the group where we wanted them, but one guy wouldn’t give up the fight. He grabbed for a weapon to shoot at my partner—Nadeem—but I got to him before he could do anything more.”
“And by got to him, you mean…”
“Mmhm,” Dex hummed. “Does that make you uncomfortable?”
“No,” she shook her head. “I know it’s not easy work. I know these things have to happen. But I wonder, are you okay? Knowing that that happened? And what you had to do?”
“I’m okay,” Dex said, and he wasn’t sure if it was a lie or not. “It was either him or Nadeem. They train you to think fast in those situations. You can’t waste time.”
“I’m really glad I chose the science side of it all.” She leaned back in his chair, and he liked how she made it look so casual. He wanted to mirror her but didn’t. “I don’t know if I could handle it like you do.”
“We make the mess,” Dex said, leaning forward. “Your side cleans it up.”
“That’s an interesting way to put it,” she replied. “Accurate.”
Dex sipped his coffee. “Anything else you’d like to know, Ms. Forensics?”
She smiled at the nickname. “I guess… out of personal curiosity… what did it feel like? Taking a life like that? Even if the guy was bad.”
Dex twisted the mug in his hands. Truthfully, it made no difference to him. But what would she want to hear?
“It’s hard,” Dex said. “Really hard. But these situations aren’t black and white. We have a job to do. We have to protect people. Protect our own. That’s what matters at the end of the day.”
“I see,” she said, nodding her head. “Do you have counselors at work you can talk to?”
“We have to undergo a psych-eval every once in a while.”
“That’s good,” she pressed her lips together. “Well, if the counselors aren’t always there for you, just know that I am, Dex.”
And there it was—that sweetness he had become so accustomed to. He couldn’t imagine his nights without it now. Dex smiled a little and focused his gaze on the table.
“It’s late,” she said after a few moments of silence. “I think I’ve run you dry for tonight. Got any plans this weekend?” She asked him this all the time, and Dex always had the same answer for her.
“No,” he said. “Catching up on sleep, maybe.”
“Me too,” she began to close her notebook and collect her pens, to Dex’s disappointment.
“You can come by tomorrow night,” Dex said with hope in his voice. “If you’re not busy and you feel like talking.”
She smiled a little and nodded her head. “I’d like that. Maybe instead of me asking about work, we can just hang?”
Dex took her empty coffee mug and wiped a coffee stain with the pad of his thumb. Her question echoed in his head.
“I’d like that,” he answered, meeting her tired eyes. “Maybe I can ask about your life and work for once.”
“Oh, you wouldn’t be getting much,” she laughed, and Dex hoped she was kidding. “But I’ll do my best to highlight the interesting parts.” She began her walk to his door, notebook in her hand. Dex unlocked it from behind her, gently brushing his arm against hers by mistake. He took a step back to give her space.
“Good night, Dex,” she whispered. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
“Good night,” he softly said back. He watched her as she walked halfway down the hall to her apartment. He always waited until she was inside and locked the door before going back and retreating to his bedroom. When she was, he closed his door and locked it. He was alone again.
◎◎◎
Dex wasn’t worried about having her over until the reality finally settled in and he realized that she would be coming over in a different context than usual. He couldn’t remember the last time he hosted something for someone and had food ready—this was possibly his first time ever. When he came home, early for a Friday night, he checked his fridge to see if he had any snacks and felt silly for it—of course, he had nothing, except a carton of milk and some eggs.
He went back out to the corner store and paused in the middle of the aisle. What did she like to eat? He only remembered the time she brought ice cream to his place. He went to the freezer and grabbed the same flavors of Ben and Jerry’s she had once brought: mint chocolate cookie and strawberry cheesecake. Dex balanced the two cartons in his hands and went through the chips aisle. He wasn’t sure what to get, and the options were overwhelming. He settled on a jar of salsa, French onion and guacamole—that way, she’d have more than one option. He also grabbed two kinds of chips: salted and hint of lime. He also threw in a container of chocolate chip cookies.
After leaving the store, he realized that she may be interested in drinking something. He wasn’t a drinker at all—alcohol didn’t mix well with his medication—so he didn’t have a clue of what she may like. Wine? Beer? He found himself inside the liquor store, even more overwhelmed by the options. When was the last time he was in a place like this?
He grabbed one bottle of red wine (Pinot Noir), one bottle of white wine (Sauvignon Blanc), and one bottle of rose for good measure. At the counter, he saw a bag of chocolate-covered pretzels and grabbed it.
Dex had his hands full on his way back to his apartment. He’d never had this much food in his house—the bags practically filled his counter. He laid every snack out but paused midway—they wouldn’t be sitting at his kitchen table. Maybe on the couch? Dex began to move all the snacks to the coffee table. He placed each dip in a bowl and had two more bowls filled with each type of chip he bought. He left the ice cream in the freezer. He put the chocolate-covered pretzels in a smaller bowl.
Then, he put each bottle of wine on the counter so that when she first walked in, she could choose. Dex finally sat down on his couch and checked the time. It was almost 10 PM. She should be home soon.
◎◎◎
His apartment felt cold and dark until she finally graced it with her presence. She was in her black silk pajamas, as Dex correctly predicted was next in her rotation. When she first walked inside Dex’s apartment and saw the line up of wine and snacks, she couldn’t help but smile at how endearing it all was, especially the hopeful look on Dex’s face as he watched her take it all in.
“I wasn’t sure what you’d like,” Dex said, scratching his neck. “So I got a bit of everything.”
“It’s okay,” she looked at him, this well-trained and tough FBI agent who looked like he spent the last hour stressing over salted or hint of lime chips and ended up getting both. “It’s perfect. It’s exactly what I wanted.”
Dex sighed in relief. “I also got different wines you can choose from.”
She looked at each bottle. She was naturally inclined to reach for the red. But she wanted to make sure Dex had a say in the matter, too. “Which do you prefer?” She asked him.
He shook his head. “Oh, I don’t drink. I got that for you. All of it’s for you.”
“Well, if you’re not drinking, then I’m not either,” she said smiling. “I do want to dig into those chocolate-covered pretzels, though.”
“They’re for you,” Dex said.
She walked over to his couch, but Dex stayed standing by his kitchen table. He didn’t take a moment before to take in how different his apartment looked whenever she was in it. Before, everything looked as tidy as it needed to be: empty coffee table, couch lacking warmth, unused empty bowls. But she graced his apartment with her presence by making it feel comfortable. A couch is meant to be sat on, a coffee table meant to have snacks, and bowls meant to have food—just for her. He’s never seen his place so lively and it’s all because of her.
It was like watching a science experiment in real time. The cause and effect. The hypothesis and results. Except, he felt in the thick of the experiment and the results could be a wild card. He was just happy to witness it happening. How she was so good at making it all feel so comfortable. He liked having her around. Dex wanted her to stay a while.
“Well don’t be shy, Dex,” she patted the seat next to her on his couch. “Come stay a while.”
Dex laughed and made his way to his couch. He felt like a stranger in his own house. How should he delicately handle this new context of hanging out? He was used to her having a notebook and her doing the talking. He felt the pressure and was afraid he wouldn’t live up to expectations.
He sat down next to her—not too close. A comfortable distance. He reached for a salted chip and dipped in the guacamole first. During training, they taught agents to start conversations with witnesses or suspects casually. He felt he could apply those tactics here, with her.
“So,” Dex began, chewing his chip of guacamole, “first thing’s first. How was your day at work?”
Dex didn't know he had it in him, to curate and carry a conversation as long as he did with her. He asked her things about her life he didn’t know before—how she got into forensic science, where she’s from, who she used to be. She’s only 22—she’s got her whole life ahead of her, and she’s only getting started.
When she revealed her age, Dex was slightly taken aback. The thought never crossed his mind but now that he knew she was a bit younger than him, he felt that sense of protection he had over her grow in size. All those times she had come home late, he never knew she was vulnerable like that. Maybe it was wrong to think that way… she’s independent and lives on her own. She can take care of herself. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Still, he had to know something.
“My age… you’re not uncomfortable?” Dex asked in a small voice, avoiding eye contact.
“No,” she shook her head. “Not unless you are.”
“I’m not,” Dex answered quickly. “It never crossed my mind to ask how old you were. I didn’t think there was that much of a difference.”
“Seven years is nothing,” she shrugged. Most of my coworkers are that or even more.”
“I just want you to be comfortable,” Dex admitted. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to be here.”
“I want to be here,” she said. “I like talking to you. You’ve told me a lot about the FBI. That’s not the only reason I like talking to you, though.”
“Why’s that?” Dex couldn’t help but ask.
“You’re nice to me,” she simply stated. “I got lucky that you’re my neighbor. I feel safe.”
“Even though you know my line of work isn’t always sunshine and daises—even though you know what I’ve done,” Dex said in a low voice, “You still feel safe?”
“You’ve given me no reason to think otherwise,” she said softly. “You’ve shown me one side of you. I’m shocked you haven’t figured out I’m trying to get to know all of you, Dex.”
Dex held her gaze and felt something blooming slowly in his chest. “What else do you want to know?”
“We can save it for another time. You asked me here tonight because you wanted to get to know me,” she nudged his shoulder with hers, the first physical touch they’d shared all evening.
“That’s right,” Dex said with a small nod.
“Your turn,” She said with a welcoming smile. Dex took a deep breath. Truthfully, he felt the basic questions had run dry. He knew all there was to know about her on the surface: how she got into forensic science, where she studied, where she’s from, where she works. When he was serving time in the army, the comrades he was with often sat in circles in their tents and started playing games like Never Have I Ever or Would You Rather? He didn’t want to play those games with her now, but he wanted to get to know her on a deeper level. Those games typically made people reveal things about themselves. If she felt so safe around him, Dex didn’t see any harm in asking more personal questions.
“Do you remember what your prom was like?” Dex asked with a sideways smile.
“My prom?” Her eyes lit up at the question to Dex’s relief. He nodded. “Oh my, gosh, well, yes. It was such a weird time for me. I actually didn’t have a date my junior year, but senior year I did. I was the worst prom date.”
Dex smiled, trying to live vicariously through her experiences. “I don’t believe that for a second.”
“It’s true. I had a crush on someone else so by the end, I ditched my prom date and went to a different party. But I had so much fun with my friends. I miss the freedom of being that young,” she smiled. “Good music, free food. Sneaking alcohol at the after party. What about you?”
Dex looked away from her and shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t go to prom. I didn’t technically have a prom.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. The institution Dex grew up in threw a makeshift prom for the seniors, but it didn’t have good music. It had free food that came from the cafeteria they ate at every day already. And absolutely no alcohol by any means. And Dex didn’t have a date. “I remember sneaking out to leave early and head back to my room.”
“Room?” She questioned.
“I grew up in a Boys’ Home,” Dex lied again. “They invited other homes for orphans but it was awkward. No one really knew anyone. I swore off events like that after that.”
“When’s the last time you went to an event?”
“Probably then.”
“Dex,” she said his name, “we’ll have to find an event for us to go to and change that.” Dex smiled. He’d only consider it for her.
“What color was your dress?” He asked her.
“White,” she said. “With a bunch of sparkles. My friends gave me shit about it, saying white was for weddings, but I didn’t care. I loved my dress. It was an off-shoulder dress. I felt like a princess.”
Dex tried to imagine it in his mind. White—fitting for her.
“I’m sure you looked like one, too,” Dex said quietly. “Have you ever traveled outside the city?”
“Of course,” she smiled again. “I’ve been for Orlando, Boston… the entire east coast, pretty much. Outside, I’ve been to London.”
“London,” Dex said impressed. “Did you like it?”
“I did but, it’s got nothing on New York. Where have you traveled?”
“I’ve only ever traveled for the army,” Dex answered. “Nowhere exciting. And definitely not for vacation.”
“We’ll use up your PTO days soon,” she nudged his knee with hers. Dex liked the hopefulness in her tone—the idea of what she was saying coming to fruition one day. And he liked that she said we.
“Do you remember your first heartbreak?” Dex asked her.
“Oh, Dex,” she sighed. “Who doesn’t? It happened recently in college. About around the time I was a freshman. Of course, I fell for a guy who was older than me. He had me in the palm of his hand for an entire year… until he graduated and dumped me like that. I was so head over heels for him, but it taught me a great lesson. Never put your life on hold for someone else.”
“That’s true,” Dex said. “I’m sorry he did that to you. That must’ve been hard.”
“It’s okay,” she shrugged. “I hardly think about it now, unless someone asks me. Do you remember yours?”
“Yeah,” Dex replied. “Like you said, who doesn’t?”
“What was it?”
“It’s not a typical heartbreak.”
“It’s all the same feeling.”
“I guess it would be when my parents died,” Dex said, meeting her eyes. “And then I was put in that home when I was a kid.”
“Dex, I’m sorry,” she whispered, scooting closer to Dex on the couch. His right leg was now resting against her left leg. She put her arm around his back and leaned her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Dex whispered back. “It was a long time ago. It made me capable of being on my own at an early age.”
“Do you have other family?” She asked, pulling back to look at him.
“No,” he shook his head. “It’s just me.”
“Well,” she said instantly, “now you’ve got me.”
Dex wanted to tell her that she couldn’t say things like that to him unless she really meant it. But he didn’t want to get serious about it all—didn’t want to ruin the moment.
“Do you remember your first kiss?” She asked him in a lighter voice. Dex laughed.
“Yes,” he nodded. “I had no idea what I was doing. It was awkward. And wet. You?”
She laughed against him. “I had a similar experience. It was so strange at first. I honestly hated it. I felt too young to kiss like that.”
“Yeah,” Dex nodded, trailing off, thinking of another question to ask her. He opened his mouth to say something, wondering if it may be too far, or treading a thin line of what boundaries they already had. Her leg was still pressed against his, but her hands were to herself now. “Do you remember… your first time?” He asked her.
Silence at first. So much silence that Dex had to look at her to make sure she was okay. Her eyes were focused in front of her, avoiding his. He’s never seen her like this—quiet, unsure. Dex wanted to rescind the question immediately and apologize for overstepping a boundary. But then, she gave him a small, ironic smile.
“No,” she answered, shaking her head. Dex thought of every possibility in his head that could make her not remember something like that—having sex for the first time—and each possibility raised concern in him until she finished her answer. “I haven’t had my first time yet.”
It was Dex’s turn to go silent. He looked at her expression—she was trying her hardest to keep an indifferent look, but Dex sensed a tinge of embarrassment from her, and even sadness. He wasn’t sure what surprised him more: that she was a virgin or that she was capable of emitting an emotion he knew all too well. He wanted to kick himself for triggering that emotion out of her.
“I’m sorry,” Dex squinted his eyes, “I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “You’re not judging me, are you?”
Dex looked at her in disbelief. How could he judge a girl like her? Dex has killed people before—not in the line of duty. He’s used lethal force; he’s been abandoned. And she thinks that he would judge her over not having ever had sex? Dex felt hollow in his heart for a moment—that she thought for even a second he would ever judge her for something like that. She, who is so kind and sweet—pure—someone Dex is positive he isn’t worthy of having so close to him. She scares him in a lot of ways because of that. But somehow he’s earned her trust. No, there’s no world where Benjamin Poindexter judges her.
“Never,” he breathed out, moving so he was facing her. “I could never judge you for something like that. There’s no shame in it.”
“Sometimes I feel that way, that I haven’t experienced something so intimate before,” she said behind a sad smile. In a lot of ways, Dex hasn’t experienced something so intimate before either. Yes, he’s had sex—but the sex he’s had with partners never felt intimate. It just felt like sex. Soulless, empty, physical. He always felt emptier inside after.
“It’s okay,” Dex comforted her. “It’s not always intimate.”
“It’s not?” She asked him, furrowing her brows. “I don’t know. It seems intimate to me.”
“It is,” Dex nodded, “it can be. But it has to be with the right person. Otherwise, it’s just an act.”
“I don’t want it to be that way,” she admitted, breaking eye contact. “Just an act. I can’t—I’m too sensitive to just do it. It has to mean something. I think that’s why I’ve waited so long. Not because of religious reasons. I’m not waiting for marriage. I just want my first time to be intimate. I want my first time to mean something. I want it to be real. I’ve heard so many stories from my friends saying guys just leave them after they get what they want. I’m not strong enough for that.”
“I understand,” Dex said softly. “I get it. But please know I could never judge you for that. If you don’t judge me for not being pure.”
“Pure,” she laughed, “is that what you think I am now that you know that?”
“No,” Dex shook his head. “I knew you were pure from the moment I met you. I didn’t need to know anything else about you to know that.”
“Why do you say that?” She asked.
“Because,” Dex struggled to find the words. He looked at his hands, her knees, her curious expression. “You talked to me so easily that first night in the elevator. So open. I’m not—I’m not used to that. You were kind. I could tell you were a good person. I—I need that in my life, __,” he said, almost pleading like she was halfway out the door when she was still sitting on the couch next to him.
“I didn’t know you felt that way about me,” she whispered.
“I let you come over every night to talk about my job because you wanted to,” Dex began to say, “but I also let it keep happening because it has kept me sane. Talking to you. Being with you…” he broke eye contact again. “You tell me I make you feel safe,” Dex spoke again. “You make me feel that way, too.” But when Dex says that she makes him feel safe, he doesn’t mean safe from the other people in the building or even New York City. She makes him feel safe from himself.
“I’d never want to do something to make you go away,” Dex continued. “I want you around,” he whispered. “I want you to stay.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” she shook her head. She placed her hand on Dex’s knee. Dex slowly brought his hand to cover hers. This was the first direct contact they’d ever had—holding hands. Dex looked at the image—studied how his hand fit perfectly on top of hers. He twisted his fingers so they intertwined. Without thinking, he brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. She let him. He kissed her knuckles again, then the back of her and, then her wrist, and soon Dex was peppering kisses all the way up the length of her arm, pushing her sleeve up.
“Dex…”
He rolled her sleeve down and held her hand again, waiting for her directive. When she gave no protest, Dex moved her hair behind her and kissed her neck. She gently pushed his chest away from her, but only to look at him. His eyes were dark, full of intensity. She leaned in and closed the space between them, kissing Dex and Dex kissing her back. The moment their lips touched, they both knew it was long overdue. Dex placed his hands on her waist while she held him on his shoulders. His tongue made his way into her mouth and she welcomed it gladly. Dex squeezed her gently and pulled back, resting his forehead on hers, out of breath.
“When’s the last time you’ve had a kiss like that?” She asked. Both of them had soft laughs escape their lips.
“I think that was my first time,” Dex admitted against her lips, “my first time wanting to kiss someone like that.”
“I guess there’s a first time for everything,” she smiled.
Dex kissed her again, gently pressing her to lay down on his couch. She did so she was laying on her back, with Dex leaning over her. She pushed his chest away again, indicating she wanted to speak.
“Dex, I want you to be my first time,” she said.
“What?”
“I want you to take my virginity,” she told him. Dex pulled back completely now. He had to sit with what she was asking him. She leaned up again in concern. “I want it to be with you.”
“__,” he said her name, rubbing his eyes closed. As much as he wanted that, Dex wasn’t sure he was worthy. He wasn’t worthy to be in your presence alone—but to take that from you, the very thing that could change everything—he wasn’t sure he was worthy of that either. You were so good and so pure—to give him that responsibility is to give him the power to potentially ruin that. He couldn’t stand the thought of ruining something else that was so good in his life.
But if it wasn’t going to be him, it was going to be someone else. And the thought of someone else doing this to her—ruining her purity—cut him to the bone. As quickly as his attachment grew in his chest, jealousy did too, at the thought of someone else doing it to her.
Selfishly, he wants to be the one to taint her. Unselfishly, he doesn’t want to ruin what she is.
“You don’t want me,” she shook her head and bit her lip, avoiding eye contact.
“That’s not true,” Dex said. “I do want you.”
“Then why aren’t you saying yes? Why aren't you taking me right now?”
“Because like you said before,” Dex whispered, taking her hands again. “You want it to be special. You want it to mean something. Rushing into it on a spur of the moment thing won’t make it what it should be.”
Tears welled in her eyes, and Dex had never seen her so emotional. It made his heart hammer in his chest. He shifted so he sat closer to her. He kissed her forehead.
“I want you,” he reassured her. “But not right now. You should sleep on it. Really think if you want it to be me. I’d hate to ruin a perfect night by us jumping into it right away.”
She avoided looking at him, but deep down, she knew he was right.
“Okay,” she whispered. “I will.”
He kept looking at her until the look of worry faded from her face. All that was left was exhaustion in the form of half-closed eyes and soft breathing. Dex nudged her with his knee.
“What do you say we call it for tonight?” Dex asked. “It’s late.”
“Yeah,” she nodded, “I should go.”
Dex walked her to her door. As she unlocked it, she turned around to say goodnight again, and as if on cue, Dex twisted her into his arms and gently pushed her against the wall of the hallway, kissing her deeply. He locked her there, between his arms, a leg separating hers. She placed her hands on his chest to steady herself. When he pulled back, he looked away, as if the mere sight of her would make him come completely undone.
Silence followed her into her apartment. Dex retreated back to his, and while she was no longer gracing it with her presence—he felt her everywhere.
◎◎◎
Dex sat at his kitchen counter. His mind was too clouded by his thoughts to focus on anything—his thoughts that were consumed by her. He didn’t realize that by giving her a choice in thinking about what they talked about, he was at the mercy of that decision.
If she ended up not wanting it to be with him, how would that change their relationship? Would she stop coming over? Worse—would she never speak to him again? Dex could’ve easily given her what she wanted in that moment, but at the same time, he didn’t want to ruin what they already had. What had easily landed in his lap without him having to do anything.
On the other hand, if she did still want it to be with him… well, where do they go from there? Not to mention that he would be the one to take that purity away from her—and not in the sense of virginity. But in the sense that someone like him, someone who has killed and is capable of doing much worse, gets to be inside her for the first time. He didn’t feel worthy to be in her presence like that, to be the one to alter her experience with intimacy forever. If she still wanted it to be with him, he would make sure it was special and intimate like she wanted it to be.
But he’s afraid that if this happens, he’ll never be able to let her go. It sounds wrong, but he would feel a sort of possession over her. He was protective over her already; after this, he would be downright territorial. His past lovers have all been with people before him…she would be the first he’d ever be with who hadn’t been touched before.
Touched. Dex felt a cramp in his hands thinking about touching her for the first time. He’d want to map her entire body out; take in how beautiful she looks completely naked. He’d be the first to see her like that. He hoped he’d be the last.
There was a knock at his door.
Dex paused before getting up. It could all change in this next moment. He wasn’t sure which he was hoping more for. He took a deep breath and walked to the door.
There she was in all her glory—her hair had brushed out, messy curls and was pushed to one side, like she had just nervously fixed her hair. She was in a new set of pajamas—pearlescent silk white. She met his eyes for a fleeting moment before looking down—Dex could still she still felt embarrassed, or ashamed. For whatever reason. It should be him who felt like that.
“It’s okay," Dex spoke first. “Whatever your decision is."
“I want it with you, Dex,” she looked up at him with worried eyes. “But if you don’t want it with me, then—“
“Come in,” Dex opened the door for her to step inside. She immediately stood in the middle of his living room as Dex shut and locked his door.
She was holding herself—arms around her stomach, avoiding eye contact. Dex wasn’t used to seeing her so unsure of herself; he was used to seeing her positive, confident, smiling. Looking at him with hopeful eyes. What did he have to do to calm her nerves?
“I want this with you,” Dex said softly, approaching her slowly. “I just want to make sure you truly want this with me.”
“I do,” she affirmed. “More than anything.”
Dex placed his hand on her cheek, studying her features before everything changes. She was right about something—sex is an intimate act. Sex changes things. He knows how it has changed things for him, but he’s not sure how it will change things for her. He wanted to remember what she looked like before the act—before he changed everything. He caressed her cheek with his thumb. He didn’t want her to feel worried. It was written all over her face.
“What are you scared of?” He asked her.
“It hurting,” she said meeting his eyes.
“I’m not going to lie to you,” Dex began, “it’ll hurt at first. But then it won’t. What else are you scared of?”
“Making a mess,” she broke eye contact again. “I may bleed.”
“Don’t worry,” Dex shook his head, whispering. “It’s not a mess you’ll have to clean up. Anything else?”
She bit her lip and met his eyes again. “I don’t want you to stop talking to me after it’s done. I don’t want us to do it, and then that being all that you wanted, and then you stop seeing me or hanging out with me.”
Dex furrowed his brows in disbelief. Here he was, afraid of the same thing, unknowing that she too shared the same fears. Dex would never stop talking to her after it’s done. She knows she’ll be attached to him after—little did she know that Dex would be infinitely more attached to her, for separate reasons. He may be taking her purity, but she’s giving him something worse: hopes that he may find newfound purity in himself.
“___,” he said her name, meeting her eyes. He caressed her cheek some more. “I’m not goin’ anywhere. Once this happens—it won’t be possible for me to let you go.”
She took a long shaky breath. “Okay, Dex. I trust you. I—I think I’m ready.”
Dex continued to caress her cheek as he held her gaze, witnessing her eyes soften in comfort—safety. Trust. “Okay,” he said. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”
She blushed in the most adorable way. Avoided eye contact, bit her lip. She nodded. Dex placed two fingers under her chin to lift her to look at him. Dex slowly leaned down to meet her lips with his. And when they finally touched, she fell right into him.
Dex cupped her cheek in the palm of his hand, holding her steady in place as he kissed her. He teased her lips with her tongue, and she opened her mouth to let him in. He started off slowly…sweetly. When she took his hands and moved them to hold her waist, he took it as a sign to deepen the kiss. His tongue danced against hers as he practically inhaled her with kisses. His strong hands rested at either side of her waist.
They both pulled back out of breath. Dex leaned his forehead against hers, eyes closed.
“Let me lay you down,” Dex said in a low voice. She nodded against him and let him lead the way to his bedroom.
She sat at the foot of the bed in the center. She started to shake uncontrollably—from nerves, the AC in his room and from the reality of what was about to happen.
Dex knelt between her knees in front of her. He took her hand and held it in his. He kissed her knuckles and felt her shaking. He looked up at her.
“This is for you,” Dex reminded her. “It’s okay.”
“I’m just nervous,” she said. “I’ve never been completely naked in front of anyone.”
“I’ll ask you if I can do anything before I do it,” Dex said. “Is that okay?”
“Yes,” she nodded. She was taking deep breaths to calm her anxiety. Dex kissed her knuckles again. He placed both her hands on her legs.
“Can I touch your shoulders?” He asked.
She looked confused at first, but nodded anyway. Dex placed his hands on both her shoulders, softly caressing her with his thumbs. He moved his hands down both her arms slowly, feeling the softness of her silk pajamas. When he reached her hands, he held them both.
“Can I unbutton your shirt?”
“Yes,” she breathed softly.
Dex nodded and slowly started to unbutton her shirt one by one. He kept his focus on the buttons—nothing else—definitely not the goosebumps rising on her skin and definitely not at her hard nipples through the shirt. When he was done, only the center of her torso was exposed. She leaned back on her elbows and Dex leaned forward more between her legs, which were now spread a bit more.
Dex could see her heart pounding in her chest. He took right hand and kissed her knuckles. He met her eyes.
“Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” Dex reassured her. She shook her head.
“I don’t want you to stop.”
Dex kissed her hand again. “Can I touch you?”
“Anywhere,” she said in a small voice.
Dex slowly began to trail his hand up the length of her torso, from her stomach to her collarbone. He slipped a few fingers under neath her shirt, dangerously close to her left breast. Dex looked at her once more for permission. All he needed was a small nod to let him know it was okay—and she did. Dex slowly traced his fingers over her breast, feeling her soft supple skin react to his touch—goosebumps, her nipple hard in the palm of his hand. Dex took a deep breath to control his own feelings of arousal—feeling her breast in his hand, realizing he was the first person to ever touch her like this. Dex squeezed her breast lightly and traced his pointer finger underneath her breast, feeling the curve of her soft skin. He pushed the shirt away, exposing her completely. He did the same thing on her other side with his other hand. He slid her shirt completely off and she closed her eyes, leaning fully back.
“You’re beautiful,” Dex whispered. “You’re soft and perfect.”
She opened her eyes. “Touch me more.”
Dex scooped her in his arms and lifted her further up his bed. He knelt between her on the bed and traced his hand on her stomach again. An intrusive thought crossed his mind—would she let him come inside her? Would she want to feel his seed that deeply inside her, knowing the risk? Dex felt his cock harden at the thought of coming inside her for her first time.
He took a deep breath and crossed the thought away. He placed both his hands on her breasts and gently squeezed them again. He leaned down and kissed the skin between her breasts. She closed her eyes in pleasure. Dex kept his hands on her waist and slowly kissed his way to her right breast, kissing it before taking her nipple in his mouth. He licked and sucked her hard nipple, gently wrapping his lips around it and starting a motion of licking and sucking. He swirled his tongue around her nipple and kissed her breast. He did the same thing on the other side.
“How did that feel?” He asked her.
“Good,” she answered in a breathy voice. “Really good.” She was still shaking. Dex was starting to love the idea of him making her shake like that.
“Good,” he said. Dex began to pepper kisses down the length of her torso, holding his hands on either side of her waist. She breathed deeply and pressed her head into his pillow, bracing herself for whatever was next. He played with the hem of her pajama pants and looked up at her with a slight sense of urgency.
“Can I take these off?” Dex asked.
“Yes,” she breathed, closing her eyes.
In one single slip, Dex took her pajama pants and underwear off, completely exposing her to him. Dex gazed at her sex which was slightly glistening from how wet she was, and then he noticed her slightly shaking again. He placed his hands on her thighs and kissed her on either side, trying to hold her steady.
“It’s okay,” Dex whispered. “Just tell me if you want to stop.”
“I don’t,” she said. “I’ll stop shaking soon.”
Dex secretly hoped she wouldn’t. He slowly slid his right hand over to her inner thigh and began to draw small circles. He slowly inched his way over to touch her pussy. He ever so gently placed the pad of his thumb on her clit, mimicking the small circles he just drew on her thigh before. She shivered at his touch and Dex watched her carefully. He mindlessly kept rubbing her clit as he watched her expression change from tense to relaxed.
“That feels really good,” she whispered.
“Let me know how this feels,” Dex said in a low voice. He slowly knelt between her legs, pushing them farther apart. He placed his entire mouth on her pussy and began to lap slowly at her slick folds. He started from the bottom and licked slowly up to her clit.
“Oh,” she moaned in a slightly pitched voice. Her legs shifted against Dex’s head, which was welcomed. Dex continued to lap at her wetness, completely putting his entire mouth on her sex. He pulled back momentarily to insert one finger in her tight pussy. She gasped at the tension, grabbing onto the fitted sheets. Dex reached his other hand up and took her hand, indicating that she could hold onto him. He pulled his finger and met his lips to her pussy again, this time moving his tongue around faster than before. His lips were locked on her wetness, and he began to feel himself get lost in the way she felt against his mouth, like this was his last meal on earth. She squirmed against his face, breathing deeply. She reached to pull on his hair to channel how he was making her feel. His hand gripped her thigh while the other held onto her ankle.
Dex focused his sucking on her clit and he paid mind to how she was breathing—he didn’t want her to come yet. Her eyes were closed, mouth half open, brows furrowed together. With his lips still on her pussy, Dex looked up at her and locked eyes for a moment with her before she closed them again and sighed into his pillow. He took one last lap at her wetness before pulling back and kissing both of her inner thighs.
“Dex…”
“You okay?” He licked his lips.
She only nodded, slightly disappointed by how cold she felt now that he wasn’t touching her. Dex could sense she wanted more. He could sense she was ready. He took off his shirt and pants, exposing himself to her. He couldn’t remember the last time he was bare in front of someone, but he didn’t care—all those times before didn’t matter. Only now did.
His cock was hard, pre-cum leaking at the tip. Dex was slightly surprised that she reached down to touch him, gently running her thumb over his tip. He clenched his jaw and took a deep breath. He placed his hands under the small of her back and lifted her up his bed, so she lay perfectly in the middle. He was hovering over her now—his cock dangerously close to her wetness, but not touching. They looked at each other for a moment, Dex looking deeply into her eyes—he couldn’t tell what she felt. Fear, anticipation, aroused? A mix of all three, he supposed. Because it’s exactly how he felt, too. Knowing that after this, their entire dynamic would change. For better or worse.
She spread her legs wider and placed her hands on his face. Dex leaned down and kissed her gently.
“You still want this?” He asked her.
“Yes.” She swallowed hard. “Please be gentle.”
“I will,” Dex nodded, his hot breath hitting her skin. He pushed a strand of hair away from her flushed face. He kissed her between her eyebrows.
Dex slowly lined up his cock at her entrance and rubbed his tip against her folds, getting himself wet with her pussy. He took a deep breath and clenched his jaw. Her eyes were closed, but he watched her as he ever so slowly tried to push himself inside her. He was too big for her to enter easily, and she was too tight for him to go any harder. She said gentle, and that’s exactly what he did. She took a sharp intake of breath and her heart was beating hard against her chest. Dex could sense her anxiety and kissed her forehead again as he tried to push himself inside her more. Slowly, inch by inch, he pushed himself inside her tight pussy, and in one quick thrust, Dex was completely inside her. They both reacted in their own way—Dex letting out the deepest sigh he’s ever taken, and her gasping for air from the pain.
“Dex, Dex,” she whispered in a slight panic.
“Shh,” Dex was trying to keep himself focused but it was hard to while he felt her tight pussy completely encase him while at the same time soften her worries. “It’ll get better. I’m going to go back and forth.”
She nodded and kept her eyes shut, a pained expression on her face. Dex felt incredible inside her, but this wasn’t about him. It was all for her.
He slowly pulled out, and she could feel the difference immediately. He felt so big inside her that when he almost pulled out, she felt so empty—she needed to feel him like that all the time. Close, inside, tangled up with her softness.
When he pushed back in, he couldn’t help the moan that slipped out of his lips. She was shaking, and her shaking at his cock inside her, ignited something primal in him. He was the first person to ever feel her like this and make her feel this way, and that thought alone spurred Dex on to keep thrusting inside her. She was completely soaking and he could feel her start to mold to his cock.
“Dex,” she whispered his name, “it’s starting to feel different.”
“How?” He uttered out while he still slowly went back and forth inside her.
“Good,” she opened her eyes finally and met his dark ones. “Really good. I—“
“You want more?” Dex asked, and it was his turn to close his eyes.
“I want more,” she nodded.
Dex wasted no time in speeding up his thrusts inside her. He went even deeper, feeling the tip of his cock touch the back of her cervix. He was imprinting his size on her. She knew she would feel him for days after. She felt so velvety, soft, wet and tight around his cock, Dex’s mouth was half open and his eyes were closed as he continued to thrust inside her.
“More, Dex,” she sighed.
His arms were under her, and hers were around his shoulders. Dex kept one arm under her and held onto his bed frame to get a better angle at fucking her, because now that’s what they were doing. Dex pounded inside her tight pussy, wetness and possibly blood coating both of them and his sheets. He watched her as she closed her eyes, mouth half open, as he continued to fuck her into being all his. He didn’t know what he liked more—being inside her or watching how much she enjoyed him being inside her. She fluttered her eyes open for a moment, meeting his, and Dex instantly closed his eyes. He retreated his arm back from the bed frame and scooped her in his arms, pressing his forehead against hers.
She closed her eyes again and had an expression of arousal, her eyebrows knitted together and her mouth slightly open. She opened her eyes and suddenly felt very aware of what was happening between their two sexes—it was a mix of wetness from her and something else more runny—blood. Her cheeks flushed red in embarrassment, Dex could tell, and she tried to look between them as he kept thrusting his cock inside her, unsure if she should allow herself to feel good or worry about the mess she’s making.
Dex followed her line of view and blocked it with his dark eyes.
“Look at me,” he whispered. “Look at me. How do you feel?”
She met his eyes and sighed heavily, “But Dex—“
“Don’t,” he pressed his forehead firmly against hers, continuing to pound into her, feeling the tip of his cock touch the back of her cervix. “Focus on me.”
Focus on him she did—the way he was hitting her g-spot repetitively made her spread her legs wider and push him in even more. He filled her up so completely, so well, she was sure to feel him for days.
“Oh, God, Dex,” she moaned, louder than before, “something’s happening—“
“Let it,” Dex whispered against her lips, closing his eyes and focusing on hitting her sweet spot. “Come for me, __. Come for me…come for me…”
“Dex!” Her pussy convulsed around his cock as she finally reached climax for the first time. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly against her, holding on like she was holding on for life. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest and she lost her breath and regained it as she held onto his warm body. He was still inside her, thrusting more gently now. He kissed her neck, kissed the skin behind her ear, kissed her forehead and kissed her lip as he continued to move inside and out of her.
“Oh,” Dex whispered against her lips. “I’m right behind you—“
“Inside me,” she said in a whisper, “please.”
Dex closed his eyes as he felt himself release his seed inside her tight pussy, feeling it coat all over her inside, he was shaking against her. It was her turn to kiss him, to bring him back down from his own high.
He laid his entire body weight on her, which was welcomed. His cock was still inside her, resting, until he slowly pulled out of her. She held him tighter. He breathed her in deeply, kissing her shoulder. She ran her fingers through his dirty blonde hair.
He pulled back, gazed in her eyes for a moment.
“Let me get a towel,” Dex said softly.
He pulled the sheets over her and when he came back, he cleaned between her legs as best as he could while she fell asleep. Dex threw the towel in the hamper, a clean, perfect throw, and crawled back under the sheets with her. He pulled her in tightly, and she molded against him like she was meant to be there. It may have been her first time, but he was certain this was his first time feeling the attachment in the aftermath. He hoped this wouldn’t be their last.
We are willing to take away a popular, original ship, if it means commenting on our sturdy belief that trauma bonds are not a sturdy basis of relationship.
dylan o’brien has been one of my crushes since I was like a baby, I need MORE stuff written about him like omggggg, im going to the theaters to see send help on friday and im genuinely clawing myself each day going down
gonna shower AND shave everywhere just for it, I can’t wait I NEED that. people get to work STAT!!!! I JUST know he’s gonna be so fine as bradley
The First Time(Aka How Nanami Kento Lost His Virginity)Chapter Nine: But I Know That I Love You So.
warnings: smut, lewd content, virginity loss!!!!!!!, oral sex, mentions of alcohol/partying, halloween party, cemetery mention, fluff, love confessions, vaginal fingering
pairings: Emo Nanami Kento x Fem!Reader
summary: after the two of you have made things official, you start to wonder how his first time will go. after being invited to a halloween party(that neither of you attend), you realize it's the perfect time. and it ends up being the best moment of your life.
a/n: Here it is! Nanami Kento finally loses his virginity. Hope people still enjoy this series. Idk how many more chapters will be left, but I'll be sure to wrap it up nicely.
The nights were beginning to get longer and the days just a little shorter. As you continued your academic year with Kento, fall was just beginning to creep around the corner. And with that came one of your favorite holidays, Halloween.
As everyone was getting into sweater weather and talking about pumpkin patches, you were telling Kento about how excited you were to spend Halloween with him. It was going to be the best halloween either one of you spent. He was just as thrilled as you were about that holiday, which made you even more in love with him.
The festivities almost seemed to get pushed ahead of time this year and people were already handing out invites to halloween parties. The thought of attending another party was a little bit dubious for you and Kento, but he assured you that he was more than happy to attend any party you wanted to. With you being his girlfriend now, he knew that nothing could come between the two of you.
You were daydreaming about matching costumes and how the party would go the night before the actual night. It was supposed to be something a bit more chill than the last time you attended a frat party. Something a bit more on the downlow this time. You and Kento both agreed you’d dip if things got weird though, opting for a codeword to use if things seemed off.
You and Kento spend the afternoon together, buying matching costumes(you decided on Morticia and Gomez Addams) and just going around the shops to see what kind of Halloween decorations you could find. You returned to your dorm with a handful of bags stuffed to the brim with all kinds of spooky goodies courtesy of your lover.
“You’re too sweet,” you coo as you sit on your bed,
Kento laughs. “I’d do anything to make you smile.”
You hug the giant Gir plushie to your chest, your cheeks going pink as you hear him say something so sweet. It was almost hard to believe that this was the same guy you were teaching to kiss only last year. He’s grown so much, and you think you’ve grown as well. The two of you fit together so perfectly, you couldn’t imagine your life with someone else.
He helps you set up the rest of the decorations, making your room look so festive. You have such a hard time believing how good this was turning out. The man who you were completely in love with was finally all yours. And the more time you spent with him, the more you realized that he might even potentially be your soulmate. It felt silly to think that way, but whenever Kento kisses you, you swear you could hear a chorus of angels.
“I’ll let you get ready and I’ll be back in around an hour, how does that sound?” Kento suggests, kissing your cheek.
“O-okay! Sounds perfect.”
He leaves your dorm, waving at you from the doorway before he heads towards his own place. You were almost too giddy to do anything, just laying on your bed holding your plushie. All your memories with Kento were rushing through your mind.
How a single moment of banter between two classmates has turned into something just so beautiful. You think about all that you’ve gone through with Kento and how things had taken a turn for the worse, but now things were just so perfect
Thoughts of every little moment you’ve spent together run through your mind as you take a shower, get ready and you put on your costume. The clumsy way he kissed you the first time, learning about his best friend who died, the way that Kento looked at you when he thought you were using him…all of that begins to flash in your mind.
The hour passes by and you sit on your bed, waiting for your lover. Your heart is pounding in your chest, and you know you’re excited. Kento has shown you so many different sides of him, and tonight you were going to see another facet of him. The side of him that was excited to spend a cool October night with his sweetheart.
When you hear the knock on the door, you can’t help the smile that spreads on your face. You rush to the door, your heart nearly stopping when you see your boyfriend dressed in his costume. He’s got a single rose for you, but it’s dyed black.
“Mi amor,” Kento says in a fake accent as he hands you the rose.
He looks at you with such adoration in his eyes. Kento has never felt this way for anyone else before. You are the first person to truly captivate him like this, making his heart race and swell with so much love all at once. You are truly the one who makes him so happy and he will never take it for granted.
“You look stunning,” you say as you place the rose in a vase.
“Me? Are you kidding me? You’re the one who’s stunning. My angel, you’re so gorgeous.”
He pulls you close to him, cupping your face but careful not to smudge your makeup. He looks into your eyes, losing himself to the beauty that is you. You smile, making him falter in the moment before he leans in and kisses you.
“Are you ready to go?” He asks, his voice soft and tender.
You grab your purse. “Ready, sweetheart.”
You two begin your walk off of campus and toward the house where the party was going to be held. You talk about the excitement of going to another house party, but the more you get closer, the more you two realize maybe it’s better not to go. So he takes your hand and guides you towards some abandoned buildings.
When you turn the corner, you notice that it’s a spooky cemetery. It seems fitting to have the two of you walk through the graveyard at night dressed in your costumes. Abandoning the party to hang out like this was a better way to spend your night anyway.
“Look over here,” Kento calls as he holds up his cellphone.
“There’s no way you can get a good picture on that thing!”
You dig in your purse, pulling out a digital camera. You hand it to him, allowing Kento the chance to take much better shots of you. The two of you spend a good hour just walking around, taking pictures together before you make your way back to your dorm.
The worker at the convenience store gets a good fright when the two of you enter in full costume. You laugh as Kento holds your hand tighter, winking playfully at the worker. As you peruse the aisles for some snacks, you two flirt with one another. Every moment surpassing the previous one in terms of joy.
Then as you two walk out in the cold night once more towards your dorm, things start to fall into place. It would be the right night for Kento to lose his virginity. Neither of you say anything until you’re comfortable in your dorm once more.
The sexual tension is nearly electrifying as Kento kisses you deeply. His tongue slides into your mouth, tangling with yours. The once needy and unsure boy turned into a confident man who knows how to kiss you to leave your knees weak and you breathless. You cling to him, wanting to press your body more against his.
“I need you,” he pants between heated kisses. “I want this…”
You pull him onto the bed, giggling as some of your plushies go flying. Kento smiles at the sound of your laughter, the very sound making his heart swell. You are just too adorable at times, bringing out the softer side to him.
Your dress is slowly pulled off of your body, allowing Kento the chance to press kisses on all the exposed skin. You help him with his suit, your lips on his neck. Kento groans, his hips bucking against yours.
“Needy huh?” You tease him, making his cheeks go pink.
“Only for you,”
The words are so simple but they mean so much. You thread your fingers through his hair, kissing him so deeply. Time almost seems to still for the two of you. Every sensation is heightened by the love you have for one another.
It’s not long before the reality of the situation falls on the two of you. You’re only in your bra and underwear and your man is not wearing much as well. His eyes bore deep into your own, leaving your cheeks warm. He smiles tenderly as he leans in to kiss you. You’re left breathless and even more in love as he pulls away.
“Allow me to show you pleasure,” he whispered against your lips.
Kento is soft and sweet as he kisses a trail down your body. He stops to help take off your bra, his eyes widening when he sees your breasts. The way he always looks at you like it’s the first time he’s ever seen your naked body excites you like nothing else. Kento treats you like you’re a masterpiece, and in his eyes, you’re even more than that. His hands are soft on your tits, cupping them together and using his thumb to tease your nipples.
“You look so beautiful like this,” he says with a sweet smile on his face.
“You look incredible, lover.”
His cock is so hard in his boxers, it’s straining against the fabric. He ignores his own pleasure right now in favor of yours. Then he gently lets his tongue glide over the swell of your breast, then down to your other breast to suckle on your nipple. He’s taking his time, savoring the flavor of you.
“I’m going to make you cum.”
He spreads your legs, his fingers finding the waistband of your panties with ease. The fact that this was the same person who struggled with kissing and heavy petting not too long ago had you even more aroused. The thought that you were the one responsible for turning him into this responsive and attentive lover was thrilling and very much endearing.
His fingers part your folds once he has your panties slipped off. You gasp as the tips of his fingers gently roll over your clit, and then he pulls away. Kento smirks as he teases a few more times this way, then his fingers slide down to your dripping hole.
“You’re so ready for me already,” he comments as he leans in to kiss your mound. “But I want to do this right.”
Kento wraps his arms around your thighs to pull you closer, his face pushed between your thighs. He laps at you fervently, but still with an ease of someone who wants to draw things out. He’s sweet and caring, but with the way he begins to grind against the bed, you know he’s wanting more but he’s holding back for you.
Two of his fingers sink into you, making you moan out for him. You’re barely holding on and he continues to pleasure you in ways that have you shaking. The room is filled with the wet, lewd sounds of his tongue lashing against your clit and his fingers curling up against your sweet spot.
“K-Ken,” you whine. “So close.”
His eyes flash with passion as he brings you to your first orgasm. And even as you come down from this high, he brings you to another orgasm with pure expertise and sweet love for you. As he pulls away, he gets up on his knees and he gently rubs your thighs. You’re catching your breath when you watch him reach over to the little box on your nightstand. He grabs one of the condoms and he sits back on his knees.
“Are you ready?” He asks.
You sit up slightly. “I should be asking you this. Are you ready?”
He surprises you with a deep and passionate kiss. You can feel the way he loves you through just this one action. It’s like the two of you are melting into this affection together. Then when he pulls away, he looks at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever gotten to witness.
“I have never been more ready for something in my life…and I have you to thank.”
He opens the foil packet and strokes his cock. You help him put on the condom, which only proves to make him even more excited. Then when you’re both ready, he uses the head of his cock to slide between your folds. He shudders when he presses the head of his cock to your hole.
Kento groans in pleasure as he slowly slides into you. When he’s all the way in, he nearly slumps on top of you. It almost feels too good to be true. The warmth of your walls is so inviting and the way your hands rub his back in comfort has him melting into you. You’re too beautiful, you feel too warm and this moment is just too perfect.
“Fuuuuckkk…” he grunts as he begins rocking his hips.
“Feel good, baby?”
He nods his head, picking up his pace only just a bit more. Anymore than this would have him blowing his load too soon and he doesn’t want to do this. He wants this to last as long as he can, seeing as this is the very moment he’s been working up to.
Kento captures your lips with his, kissing you softly. You can feel his whole body trembling as he fucks you with passion. His hips rock at a steady pace, and his cock keeps hitting your sweet spot. Just the whole feeling of being so in love with him has you even closer to the edge than usual.
He then changes the angle, and you wrap your legs around him. The two of you are panting as you move your bodies in tandem. The sweet release is so close. Kento smirks when he notices you’re close too, and it boosts his ego even more. You watch as he licks his fingers, bringing them down to your clit.
With him rubbing your clit and his cock continuously hitting your sweet spot, you fall off the edge with a soft cry of his name. Kento’s hips falter and he’s brought to his climax by the pulsing of your walls and the way you cry out his name.
The two of you ride out your high, holding onto one another as if to anchor each other. The way your body continues to contract and shudder with each wave of pleasure has you almost gasping for air. You’re drowning in him and he’s drowning in you, but you two hold onto each other and it brings you both down to earth.
Kento slumps against you finally, still buried deep inside of you. You run your fingers through his sweat-soaked hair and you whisper soft words of praise. He looks up at you with a lovesick look, and you know that this man will never leave you. You have no intention of leaving him either.
“I adore you,” he whispers against your skin.
“I adore you too. Forever and always.”
Kento pulls out of you, and then he gets up to properly get rid of the condom. When he returns, he’s got a pack of tissues and he helps you clean up. He’s gentle as always, ready to show you that he’s completely devoted to you.
And when he curls up beside you and pulls you in close, you know that you’re never going to have your heart broken again because it is Kento Nanami who has won your heart.
"I was like, I don't know who this Blaine guy is, but apparently he's sex on a stick and sings like a dream, so sucks that I missed him. All right, since I'm working to recreate your meteoric ascent, I need to ask--why did you leave Dalton? Were you bored with all the preppies around here? Or is it that you broke too many hearts to stay?"
