i miss you but you don’t even remember me
we never really spoke to each other. you don’t even know what i look like but i still miss you. i was the child that randomly walked into your life and then refused to leave because i needed you. i was young and i was in pain but you were there for me. i learnt everything about you but you didn’t ever want to know anything about me.
on one day you told me you were just like an onion with ‘many layers to your personality’ and i thought that was the most fascinating analogy ever. and then i read about it in a book.
another day you said you were watching ‘the breakfast club’. i asked you what that was and you said, ‘obviously, you wouldn’t know about it.’ i thought i’ll watch it some day. i still haven’t.
the breakfast club // 1985
you told me your birthdate and i spent months trying to contact grant gustin through his manager just because you told me you loved watching ‘the flash’. i wanted to give you an incredible gift but ended up making an elaborate presentation. i still remember your birthday and i send you a message every year which i delete within a week because i’m embarrassed that i haven’t forgotten it when nothing of me remains in your memory.
instagram 'happy birthday' text // 2022
you told me you wrote poetry and played basketball and that reminded me of troy bolton from high school musical. you said you also knew ballroom dancing. i thought you were the coolest person i’d ever met.
high school musical 1 and 3 // 2006, 2008
my favorite book is ‘the perks of being a wallflower’. i read this quote and started getting teary-eyed because it reminded me of you. you were to me what charlie’s anonymous friend was to him. i didn’t mean to trouble you but i guess i did.
the perks of being a wallflower // 1999
we shared a common love for cats. your favorites were grey british shorthairs with blue eyes. i’d send pictures of them to you constantly.
pictures of cats // grey british shorthairs
i am not surprised by how little i mean to you since i forced myself into your life. i’m sorry. i truly am sorry. and i’m sorry for constantly coming back into it. i’m sorry for saying i won’t do it again but still sending you long paragraphs pleading for forgiveness for being a nuisance.
sorry for writing all the songs about you // clara mae, 2018
i know i left abruptly but that was because i was scared you’d leave first. i’ve been left before so i thought it would hurt less to be the one to do the leaving but i guess i was wrong. i still miss you. and i think about you whenever i'm sad because i met you when i was at my lowest.
summertime sadness // lana del rey, 2012
- missing someone is painful. there’s always feelings of grief and sorrow that comes with reminiscing memories with them. but the most devastating feeling is when the person you miss doesn’t even remember you exist. when you’re nothing more than a faint memory of their past but to you, they were everything. you thought about them for the years that followed even though it hurt you every time they crossed your mind -
