Hello, I'm working on a project where the main character uses on and off a cane because of fluctuating level of chronic pain. They start using it more because using magic makes it worse, and another character that is important to the main character has a similar disability and help them, but the other one has unconcious biases. The mentor need to work on himself since when he figured out that MC has chronic pain he start training them differently without asking them, I was wondering how I could broach the subject of that mentor and his biases so that he can grow from them since I want to kind of represent the current society biases on visible disability.
So basically, what are some of the key points I should be careful of?
Anon Astro
Hello,
First, just please be careful about exactly why his magic makes his pain worse. It sounds like his magic didn't cause his chronic pain, which is good. How does the use of magic make his chronic pain worse? Is it more like overdoing it and having a bad pain day? Because that sounds fine. If his magic is slowly destroying his body the more he uses it (actively destroying his body, such as wasting his muscles) and making his disability worse by completely changing, worsening, or adding to it, that's getting into dodgy "might accidentally be disability as punishment if you word it the wrong way" territory and it might be best to rework that.
As for the unconscious bias that the mentor works on, it sounds like you're handling that respectively. Maybe the character realizes that his mentor is treating him differently, more delicately, and it eventually (or quickly) irritates him into snapping. He should be the one to decide his limits and if the training routine needs to change, he deserves to at least be consulted on it so that he can make a choice rather than having someone else take away his autonomy by deciding they know his body better than him, the one who lives in it. Maybe he would rather someone ask to help him rather than force something that might not be helpful on him without him knowing, and maybe he was doing perfectly fine and so could his mentor not do this?
The main character should make the rules when it comes to his own body. That's what usually gets people to stop arguing my point when I have this kind of conversation with them. My body, my choice and all of that. Making them think of my informed choice in the context of consent is usually a great way to get them to come around. And then, once the mentor realizes that the main does deserve to make his own choices about what's best for him, it would be absolutely fantastic if the mentor were to apologize for overstepping. Because gods know that rarely happens in both fiction and in real life.
Moving forward, they'll probably have a talk about communicating. Maybe they come to an agreement that the mentor will talk to the main before "helping" him and the main will make sure to tell the mentor if he needs something changed, needs to stop or take a break, or can't do something today. If the training needs modified, it would be nice to see them work on that together, communicating and listening.
As for what to not do, please don't make him seem demanding or mean for wanting to have a say in his own life. So many people act like diabled people are being entitled or ungrateful when we turn down help we don't need and it's infuriating. He's well within his rights to make his own decisions. Even if he does get a bit pissed during the argument, he's within his right to do that. Please don't portray him as some entitled, ungrateful brat for it. Consent, no matter the form, is extremely important and he has a right to ask for people to not make decisions for him without consulting him.
It sounds like you're on the right track with this.
Mod Aaron
