transmission to: @anon-pups / continued from here
Keith pinches his eyes shut, feeling the weight of the universe pressing down on him as he clings to Sam like a lifeline in stormy waters. His bruised fingers curl gently into the thick, warm fur of Sam's coat, and he holds the dog close. The rhythmic rise and fall of the dog's breath beneath his hands grounds him in the present, bringing with it a rush of comfort. He really doesn't want to be alone right now.
"I keep having dreams where I lose them all, Sam," he whispers, his voice tinged with despair. "Shiro, the others... just because I made the wrong move, or because I gave them a risky order.” He pauses, a lump forming in his throat as he fights the tide of emotions threatening to drag him under.
"Sometimes they don't even die; they just call me selfish and ruthless and then walk away, and suddenly I’m eight years old again, standing alone in the darkness as they lower my pa's casket into the ground." His heart is heavy with the thought that everyone he has ever loved has been taken away from him, in one way or another. It feels as if the universe is eternally conspiring against him.
"I'm just... so scared at the thought of being alone again."
As he rests his head against Sam's, he realizes that he could never share his deepest fears with anyone else. While he finds it difficult to be open and expose his vulnerabilities to others, it's surprisingly easy when he’s talking to a dog. At least he knows that Sam won't judge him.