Coming out of the shell a little...
I'm shy and a bit shameful about expressing a puzzle piece of mine, but I've seen similar people on Tumblr, so I guess it's finally time. Just no disrespect please and thank you.
Let's start from the beginning. Ever since my youth, and for an unknown reason, I developed a fascination with size shifting. It completely evolved like a Pokémon when I was 11, after I saw my favorite Pokémon episode of all time. It was last year or so when learned that this was called macrophilia, but mine is a safer approach, so put your hate comments nowhere.
During childhood, I'd say the cause was and still is unknown, but when I hit puberty, the reason why I have it is different. And yes, my theory reason is linked with my ASD.
I think I still have it because of my (social) anxiety, and the wish of being protected by a big, gentle, comforting shield and protected from the world.
This is one of my ways from escaping the cruel world I'm in, and it is also one of my special interests (but I hide it from people irl). When I go to bed or take a nap, I imagine my f/o (and yes, he's canonically giant) in my au or whatever, cuddling me, petting me, or giving me constant comfort to help me go to sleep.
Also, there are times when I my gut gets fuzzy when reading or seeing adorable g/t stuff. For example @that-one-anime-writer and her g/t journals. I just read them tonight, and they made me happy. Shout out to her by the way.
For me, it's pretty rare to find people that are like her, and even rarer to find people that are sfw g/t, and love Gengar. I think... No I don't think... I know that I'm the only Gengar fan who's an sfw g/t user. The only one in the world. I've never seen a single other one. However, even though I've never met one, I sometimes do combine it with my Gengar obsession.
But I will tell you that I HATE the NFSW ones. They're just gross. Vore, feet, inappropriate, you name it, no thanks. All cuddles, NO COITUS.
Again, I may be good at hiding irl, but online, I'm not really. But on Tumblr, I'm exposing myself and honestly hoping that I'm welcomed by others in the sfw G/t community.
Please don't hate me for doing this... It took me about an hour, mainly because of my anxiety and distractions... Please understand.
(P.S. If I see any hate comments, prejudice comments or any of the kind, you're getting blocked.)
Thanks for understanding and taking your time to read this journal.
-Kitty
