✿: A love letter from my muse to yours.
I don’t know why I’m writing you this letter. Maybe because I’m afraid you won’t return in time for me to tell you in person and I’m sure this will find its way into your hands one way or another. Or maybe I’m just worried I won’t be able to say what I want to even if I have the chance to do it face to face. You’d think after all these years I’d have learned to express myself properly, but I guess some things never change.
That’s not really the point of this letter, though, hashing out what should’ve happened. I’m going to be honest with you, Zevran. My nightmares have started, the ones that mean I’m running out of time. I’d have told you before you went away, but I didn’t want to worry you and they weren’t so bad at first but now…well, I’m not really sleeping at all anymore.
I’m putting off my trip to the Deep Roads as long as possible. You know how I feel about returning there…I think you’re the only one who really knows why it frightens me. I’m going to try and wait for you to return but if I wait much longer, I’ll just die from exhaustion or turn into one of the creatures I’ve spent my life killing. I don’t know. I just…wanted to make sure you knew, in case I never see you again, that I––
Maker, it’s even hard to write. I can trust you with anything from having my back to sharing my bed. Why do I have such trouble admitting that I love you? …oh. Well. There it is, then. I love you. Try not to laugh too hard while imagining the look on my face. I’m sure it’s very funny.
But that’s what this letter is for, to say the thing I’ve never been able to say out loud, even though I think we both sort of knew it anyway. It’s not really our style to say these things, anyway. I have my earring and you have your oath and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Still, I needed to say it, at least once, just to make it clear. I am your Warden. You’ve called me that since the day we met and somewhere along the line, it became real for me. I just wish I didn’t have to leave you now.
I’m sorry. I’ll wait as long as I can.