#antoine dit

[transgenderadvice]

Could you give some examples of when we would need to "bend the truth"? I'm not your anon, but it's relevant; I'm nonbinary and looking into getting surgery.

It is not uncommon to come across medical professionals who think nonbinary folks aren’t “really” trans or “don’t really know what they want”. In regards to the to the person’s individual decision.

A lot of places where a nonbinary person could get medical treatment have outdated standards that are very binary. Instead of having to be rejected certain parts of one’s transition, folks will assume the binary in order to receive the treatment they need & desire (especially when it comes to getting insurance for said procedures). Unfortunately, this is what some people have to do— and it’s not fair.

However, there are clinics & surgeons that do offer informed consent! Downside, the clinics are not available everywhere :/ And a lot of them you pay out of pocket.

– Antoine

[transgenderadvice]

Hi so I really would love to go to gender therapy but I have so much anxiety about it. I don't really know what to expect, can anyone tell me what happens or what they do?

Basically, it like regular therapy but the therapist can write letters of recommendation for hrt and/or surgery! Some therapists are definitely better than others, so be aware of that.

Just a note:If you are nonbinary or don't fit into the "stereotypical" gender norms, you may have to bend the truth in order be able to have take the steps you want, moving forward in your transition. I know that sucks but people do this in order to "get around" the system 😕

–Antoine

[transgenderadvice]

(URGENT SORT OF) So I started a new school yesterday and I was going to ask them to call me my chosen name (Alex) but then my dead name was everywhere and all the teachers knew my dead name cause there was an email sent for them and I'm really shy so I have a hard time asking for stuff. I don't know how to ask them to call me my preferred name rather than my dead name without outing myself cause I'm not comfortable there yet to be out.

Antoine dit:

If you don’t feel comfy with asking your teachers face-to-face, perhaps send them an email. Sometimes the teacher will ask if you have a name you’d rather go by. In fact, there are a ton of cis people who go by names other than their ‘legal’ name (I could probably think of 5 right off the top of my head). 

These links might help

Coming out to professors and classmates

How to come out in high school

Name and Pronouns letter to teachers

Coming out to teachers example letter

[transgenderadvice]

I just cleaned out my old room from when I was "girly", and now I have so much dysphoria. Some things I can't get rid of, like a small cabinet that's pink and has "princess" written all over it. I had to clean off all the jewelry, and every childhood photo I had on my dresser and I feel horrible. Am I throwing away my past by throwing out or hiding all of these photos? I hate everything that makes me be seen as female, and I don't know what to do to make myself have less guilt...

Perhaps, instead of tossing all your stuff out, stow it in the attic or give it your mum. Mums love to cherish stuff like that. –Antoine

[transgenderadvice]

For white anons about names from different cultures, keep in mind that a certain spelling of a name may look really cool/""unique"" but I, for example, chose not to use the Italian spelling of my name, as I am not Italian, but instead used the typical Anglicized spelling; especially living in America like a lot of us here do, I think having a ""strange"" name will make it harder for you to pass/some people to accept you; though I do know one cishet boy who's name is legal name is Sandstorm so ?

Even if you had stuck with the italian spelling, it would not be cultural appropriation. If a name is from a white culture/country, 99.9% sure it would be okay to use. 

When talking about not appropriating names, it is talking about the use of non-white names by white people. For instance, a white person using a Japanese name or a white person using a name from an indigenous culture. 

–Antoine

[transgenderadvice]

I'm trans (ftm) and gay and I met this really great guy who likes me (and I really like him back). The problem is, he doesnt know I'm trans, how do I tell him?

Try testing the waters, see if it’s safe to “come out” – perhaps bring up the recent bathroom bills or a well-known trans celebrity. See where he stands on trans issues/topics.

If you wanted to: Be straight up honest with him- let him process the news, give him a bit to respond.

Regardless, no matter how you come out to him, be patient and be willing to educate. Of course you can’t (and shouldn’t) feed him everything, however, be there to help him process and understand the news. For some people it takes a bit to absorb the news. –Antoine

[transgenderadvice]

my dad wants to make me go to college at this super conservative transphobic school in texas and it sucks bc im not out to him so i can't even explain why I don't want to go there

Say that it’s not the right college for you. Tell your dad that you don’t want to go there. Campus Pride is a good website to find LGBTQ friendly schools 👍🏽 –Antoine

[transgenderadvice]

So; I'm a transboy and I feel dysphoric if someone uses female pronouns or whatever but at the same time I dress very androgynously but I have short hair and bind but I don't feel 100% masculine and it's confusing me because I like eyeliner and josh dun inspired makeup and special effects makeup that's the only kind I like) I'm just kinda stuck

You could be a nonbinary boy or a transmasculine person like myself! For me, I am not a male or a “boy”. I am male-aligned but not binary-ly male. –Antoine