#anton talks

[radical-sainthood]

I'm thinking of splitting an alter that specializes in programming, instead of just conabuse. We've thought perhaps a robot, maybe even a Logan Sanders (Sander sides is a special interest of ours) or perhaps a William Afton, we LOVE fnaf. I'd love to hear what sort of alters you think would be good for specializing in programming.

[radical-sainthood]

How many of you were going to follow our blog and interact with us before telling us that Cas is fucking dyslexic and it should be RQ-smiley-face and NOT RD-smiley-face /not actually upset /dramatic

[radical-sainthood]

Hello, may wait to answer this, if you are uncomfortable with it since I have been speaking with Anton mostly about my handling.

Would you still program someone if you are already a handler for them? (Use already implemented programs and warp them to fit your perfect image and/or implement new programs). Just a curious question mostly.

-❄️

I can answer! Anton is helping me mostly, so he's here in co! Anton says that absolutely vapor would! Pre-established codes are easier to work with, since they've already been implemented with trained responses, all you have to do is build or alter it, which is easier than getting rid of previous programming to build new ones! - 🪖

[radical-sainthood]

Alright!!! It's past midnight here, happy ween, trick or treat, I hope you all feel somewhat better. :3 I'm finally responding to the last long ask before I attempt to go to bed. Will we have success? I don't know.

Anyway: Regarding the showering, that's rough and I hope he gets better, really. (Even though he likes to show up in my dreams randomly because I have to be the most haunted bastard in the world apparently. Anyway dreams are a whole other thing I could get into, though I'm not sure they have much meaning.)

I don't think we collectively have ASPD, but I do have autism, and while not the same it can also make emotions and empathy weird to deal with. I always felt it was an interesting overlap. I just wish it was easier to talk to others about having low or fluctuating empathy without them automatically assuming the worst. Like, no, it doesn't mean I want others to hurt it just means I won't really know what the hells going on.

And!!!! I'd gladly ramble about my partner but I may need slight prompting at times on what specifically to talk about otherwise I'll draw a blank. (Another trait of mine I'm now side eyeing lol). Especially if it'll help you or you'll enjoy it!

As a final. I see you, other anons who like me. I'm glad to be favored. Eehhhhh (/gen)

With this, I go to bed. When I wake up I might ask some more questions, but you don't need to go in depth with the answers. (/gen) (it's pretty general stuff anyway.) Goodnight everyone!!!!

-🦌👁

HIII Good morning! I hope you slept well! (I'm sure you'll get back to us when you can!)

And we're working with him as best we can, I feel really bad for him, it's really not his fault that he's like this and we all wish there was more we could do to help him, we're trying certainly.

And we also have autism! So it's really just a nightmare of misunderstandings. I agree with you on that point, that I wish people could learn about low empathy individuals without assuming that they WANT people to hurt or be in pain. That is such an oversimplification of it all.

We view you in many ways, as our friend, and hearing about things that make our friends happy is important to us, hence especially why we want to hear about you and your partner!

That is most of what I have to say on those topics, I'm also glad that the anons are enjoying our conversations! You are welcome to ask any questions you want, and we will answer to the best of our ability, even if that answer is just that we don't have an answer.

[radical-sainthood]

fuck, I'm sorry. (/gen) I know it wasn't my fault, like you stated, but I can't help but feel like I played a role in you feeling worse. I didn't mean to, I should have clarified you didn't have to talk about anything. I may have just gotten a bit... excited, in the face of self discovery. I was somewhat callous and I apologize. I can stop asking questions in regards to my own apparent programming if that would help, or anything else to help. I do want to make it up to you. (/gen)

As a side, I will respond to the last long form ask tomorrow as my battery is low and I just wanna cuddle with m boy in headspace and try to relax. Plz take care yourself. You are valuable and have given me better conversation than I've had in a bit in the outerworld!

-🦌👁

I assure you my dear friend, I am an adult who can choose when I no longer want to engage or answer questions. I underestimated where my own mental health was, and that was not your fault.

You are welcome to continue to ask questions or chat, but I've learned my lesson and will try not to give such revealing details. I am responsible for my own internet experience, please know that none of the blame lies with you.

Enjoy your cuddling with your boy, you deserve it!

[radical-sainthood]

I will 100% dm you SPECIFICALLY for you to rant about it. Fuck your ex I'll beat them up for you

From 🎃

you are a Godsend Pumpkin Anon. They were deeply hurtful to us and then had the nerve to blame us for it. It really did feel like they looked at us and said, "well no you deserved the way we abused you because you didn't do xyz."

We are doing what we can to heal, but there's only so far you can come when a person you loved and trusted uses your biggest insecurity against you to intentionally trigger you as revenge.

[radical-sainthood]

Stressed? You okay big man?

From 🎃

The Recent fight with out ex (mentioned in a previous conversation with 🦌👁️) has been weighing heavily on us. It has called into question many things about ourselves, and was deeply traumatizing and triggering, so we've been stewing in that a bit.

Talking of our programming (which we engaged in willingly and isn't ANYONE'S fault) was deeply triggering, though we didn't realize at the time. We just aren't doing well mentally. The weather isn't helping (when it rains and becomes cold we get. . .ill to say the least).

It's really just a combination of poor timing and trauma triggers. We will be alright, and we will navigate, we're just delicate at the moment.

[radical-sainthood]

You can use either name I gave, I trust you. To answer your main question, I don't think I have boundaries at this point in time. After so many types of handlers and so many years boundaries get worn down over time, you know? I can DM you however, if you feel speaking more in depth on things would help you stay comfortable with me. I'm sorry I can't be more help providing the information you want. I do very much appreciate the options you offered for my comfort, makes me feel safe and well looked after.

I hope Tumblr does not eat this ask for once today. But just in case I have my message copied to send again if it doesn't go through the first time

-❄️

I would very much like to dm with you, no boundaries feels uncomfortable to us. We want this budding relationship to remain conabuse, which requires it to remain consensual for both parties. I understand how boundaries can wear down, but it is important to me that you maintain at least in some ways, a safe place to retreat to if things ever become too much.

Away from this fantasy (because, in many ways, that IS what conabuse is, is a form of fantasy or role playing) I do want you to feel safe with us, and to feel comfortable and cared about. Conabuse hinges on both parties having implicit trust in the other not to cross lines.

If you are comfortable dming, I would much prefer that Soldier. It's nice to be able to put a face to a name, if you know what I mean.