ok i know i told someone to tell me to shut tf up next time i get emo but real quick a) i miss having friends and. I know i hung out with some of them earlier but it still doesnt feel real and like they dont actually care abt me and i think none of them like me b) people that my brain adopt as Make Shift Parental Figures are slowly starting to care less and less about me and it shouldn't hurt but god it does c) i feel really empty right now but god i dont know how to fix if d) tomorrow is The Saddest Day Of The Year (as of right now who knows w my luck something worse will happen ) and i dont know how im gonna cope and i dont know how im gonna survive and i dont know how im gonna live and honesty i really dont want to bc !! hes not here and its just a really fun reminder that all of my friends and family and people i care desperately about are gonna die eventually so whats the fucking point of caring also e) i have really negative feelings about everything i just mentioned and ive been having night terrors again and theyve just been kinda. mashing all of those things together to make the worst experience ever but every single night over anf over and it makes me not wanna go to bed
