Kamala Khan has prevailed in her fight against Legion — but now the two are stuck in the darkest future of all: the Age of Apocalypse! Worse yet: It’s only hours from its inevitable end; if Kamala can’t find what’s left of the X-Men, she’ll burn in nuclear hellfire. Former enemies must learn to rely on one another as they journey through a land of charred bones and broken promises… but can Legion truly be trusted? And how far will Rogue go to teach Kamala the true meaning of mutant identity? Welcome back to the Age of Apocalypse — where no one survives the experience!
PLUS: Jeph Loeb and Simone Di Meo team up for a Revelations backup tale that reveals a sinister secret about the Age of Apocalypse — one that will have dire consequences in the future!
THE THIRD OF FIVE GIANT-SIZE ONE-SHOTS!
Written by: Collin Kelly, Jackson Lanzing
Art by: C.F. Villa, Rafael Loureiro, Edgar Delgado
Cover by: Adam Kubert, Laura Martin
Page Count: 48 Pages
Release Date: June 25, 2025
Sweat is covering his azzure fur as his blade manages to take out the last enemy with one amazing stroke and swing and the danger room announced Kurt Darkholme is victorious. Yet, his grimace remains strongly on his sharp features.
"Hey, Rockstar, there are you" a new voice joins in the silence and there´s Ariel smirking at him as she leans back on the wall of now the regular danger room. "escaping Christmas?" the mirth in her tone is very noticeable.
Kurt Darkholme puts his blade on his scabbard and remains with the grimace. "Rogue sent you to get me?" Ariel nods amused and chuckles at his face. "Still think Christmas is stupid?"
"always" is his reply but he continues to talk. "Instead of dragging me to Christmas party, we can be here and ignore Christmas together" is his final conclusion and Ariel hides a smile behind her hands.
"I´m Jewish. I celebrate Hannukah and right now, I too want to step away from Christmas and the thousands and thousands of Randolph, the red reindeer" Ariel states calmly walking over him. "So, what are we doing now?"
And now as a Hannukah gift and also Christmas gift, Kurt Darkholme offer a ghost of a smile. "Pirates are cool, do you want to be a pirate?" Kurt asked and Ariel can´t refuse such an offer.
As the new setting is putting on hold as now Ariel and Kurt Darkholme are pirates under the scalding sun and a tail wrapped around her waist as Ariel wrapped her arms around Kurt. "We won´t fight ninjas?" she asked grinning at such question.
"Wagner told me about the Pirates of Carribean, the last movies aren´t that good, but, the first ones are ...and no ninjas. Ninjas are lame" is his eloquent response and Ariel can accept this as they kiss. Hiding from Christmas is fun if you have someone you love. (Kurt Darkholme may tell her this later when she´s at the drift of sleeping)
The night begins as it should. Mr Sinister is making quips about Jean Grey´s love life(deep down, the man is furious she and Scott broke up and she´s now dating Warren) and is preparing himself to conduct his experiences, that was the original plan, but...
"How did you get in?" Mr Sinister asked as Mirage aka Dani is using her bows to destroy some of his weapons, Karma is using her powers to scan if there are victims in this facility and she´s not surprised to know it there is.
"I unlocked the cuckoos now" Karma states her power is getting a boost from the cuckoos who are more than pleased to help in destroying Mr Sinister.
Logan shares the same sentiment as he lunches into the man with his claws and finally, Magik is here to make Mr Sinister´s day get worse. And her grimace proves that her demons are in agreement with that.
Rogue, Deadpool and Ariel locate the lair where Dark Beast is and quickly a fight issue. Dark Beast may be a fae scientist, but, it does not matter against Rogue and Deadpool.
Dark Beast was too occupied by trying to not die by the two assassins faes that didn´t notice a woman carrying an azzure head who spot the Dullahan´s body.
"Still taller" Ariel states and gently put his head over his shoulder kindly and the Dullahan is free of the binding spell. The Dullahan smiles at her, but, offers a grimace to Dark Beast.
And Dark Beast scream as the Dullahan takes his head with one swift cut.
________________________________________________________________________
The day ends with the victims getting the help they need. The Dullahan has his body back and the city is free from two lunatic running terror among people.
"I think...that´s a happy ending, right, brother" Rogue asked amused as if wanting for his line.
"Well, I got my body back, so, is a happy ending to me" The Dullahan explains and Rogue nods gentle and asked again.
"Do you want to stay here?"
"Don´t tease me, I´m not sentimental...but, yeah, I may want to be here"
"I see...well, I didn´t travel all those realms to lose you, little brother, you´re an asshole, but, you´re family...I´ll stay here"
"I´m here too" Deadpool exclaims and waves his hands at the Dullahan who makes the azzure man sighs tiredly.
"I told you, handsome, we would get your head back" Ariel states offering him a strudel to him who eats not minding the manners. And the Dullahan nods once the strudel is over.
"Thank you for your help...I know I can be a pain in the ass and I know many people would just let me on the trash can...but..you help so thank you"
"You welcome, are you going to be a regular now?"
"If you want me to"
"I do, but, the head stays on your shoulder. Always"
"Aww is so good to see you again, you handsome blue devil" Deadpool states happily spinning Kurt´s head around as a lovesick girl would and, there´s no need to clarify how much Kurt is not pleased by that at all.
And Deadpool only stops when the human entourage, as he label to the author and no one else, arrives. Logan, Yana, Xi´an, Dani and Doug are looking at the scene in awe.
"Wait, Ariel was defeat?" Xi´an asked perplexed and Rogue looks back and forth at the scene of Deadpool and Kurt and how the humans are not phased by this, but, rather they are completely surprised by Ariel not being able to defeat Rogue.
In fact, at this very single moment, Kurt´s eyes are getting redder and redder until Deadpool´s body is cover in flames. "Very cute, author, very cute but still the bromance stays"
Rogue blinks and looks at Ariel who is also unphased by this situation and replies to the question of her friends. "Yeah, it was bound to happen, and yeah Rogue did heal me back but yep I lost"
"Waters under the bridge" Rogue speaks as everyone is ignoring the Deadpool on fire and the maniacal laughter of Kurt echoing the bakery. The humans look at Ariel who nods and well, is water under the bridge now.
"We have a plan to get Kurt´s body" Yana explains once Deadpool is no longer on fire and using her magic she created a powerpoint presentation to illustrate the plan.
"Ok, a powerpoint presentation? The Author is showing off now" Deadpool clarifies and the writer can set him on fire if she so wishes, but, the plan is important.
"Dark Beast´s layout got extremely wards, but, every full moon his wards get weak as he sent ...uhm, this is weird to say, the body, is out to do his bidding" Yana explains and now Karma using her leader's voice speaks.
Kindness and confidence are visible in her tone and body language. "We track the money and thanks to my powers I could see what Dark Beast is doing with the money he stole, there´s a lab called Astronax, bad name yes, but is one run by Dr Sinister and Dark Beast is his partner and both are responsible for monstrous creations" Karma creates as Kurt clearly asks if his body is on the list. Karma shakes her head and Kurt is not hiding the relief.
"So, the plan is to attack Dark Beast, we have the element of surprise" Dani explains and looks at Rogue and Deadpool "and you two will help?"
Deadpool nods his head in a childish way and Rogue said she wants to help her brother. That´s good enough to Dani to continue. "We´ll also attack Mr Sinister´s lab and save all his victims. The man only defence was anonymity and sadly that was working until now"
"So" now Ariel contributes with the conversation. "While Dark Beast is fighting Logan, Rogue and Deadpool I can take his head to the body, yes this is weird to say, and make sure the curse is broken"
"That is a dumb plan" Deadpool states.
"Shut up, Deadpool, this is not a dumb plan" Kurt defends Ariel and Rogue notices that but refrains to say anything.
Deadpool is a strange fae with a stranger ability and one of his most useful abilities is the power of track whatever he pleases as long it moves the plot, his own words, and Rogue is thankful that for today, this bakery called Sweet Tooth is on the main plot.
"Rogue, I want to know...can you kill the owner of the said bakery?" Deadpool asked not looking at Rogue, but, rather at the nothing in particular and the fae wonders if he´s really talking with the Outer Gods.
Is this the price to pay to have those abilities?
Rogue shakes her head vehemently. Is much better sway away those notions and ideas than trying to understand and Deadpool is the one who has to live with the eternal audience of the Outer Gods.
"Yes, if that bitch hurt my brother...she´ll meet your girlfriend in one blow" Rogue promised with her eyes glowing as any vengeful fae should, however, Deadpool laughs amused.
The Sweet Tooth is having clients as usual and people are chatting about everyday events and not having the constant fear of the serial killer looming over them or at least no one is making this that apparent.
Ariel is in the kitchen listening to music and preparing the meals, even with the bakery full as right now, Ariel has a calmer demeanour in her expression and is talking with Kurt´s head.
"You told me you had a family, can you contact them?" Ariel asked innocently and Kurt is not grumpy but is not happy, well, Kurt´s emotions are too complex sometimes.
"Uhm, not right now...I did leave in bad terms with my family and I guess you could add to my list: reconcile with my family, once I got my body back" Kurt confessed "and you? any bad blood in your family?"
Ariel stops cleaning her cup and slowly puts on the kitchen site. "My family is dead for a very long time" she responds putting a lock of hair behind her ear and studying his expression "no, nothing grimly as you´re clearly thinking...they died of old age and well, I have my bakery and my friends as family"
"My sister used to say something like that...you would like her"
The strudel is ready and Kurt is grumpy than usual and it only hit her that he may be extra grumpy because of one thing. "You wish to eat?" she asked never once thought about this possibility. Kurt grimace is answered enough. "No, I want to look to the strudel some more and feel the smell of food I can´t eat"
"No need to be so grumpy, look, when you get your body back...you can eat the strudel and free"
The Sweet Tooth is closing and Ariel is waving at the last client who is compliment the good food and beverage and is entering in the car with his friends, finally, after all the tribulations, the Sweet Tooth is closing and nothing out of ordinary happens.
"Ariel, why you open a bakery?" Kurt the head asked having teleport to the front row of the bakery that is empty, excluding him and Ariel, and his tone is curious.
"Oh, I always loved how to cook and..." her line stops as her wall is once again being destroyed and a mysterious hand push her out of the shop and is dragging her outside.
A woman with brown-reddish hair and a white streak is facing Ariel with venom. "Oh god, please don´t tell me you´re one of his crazy exes?" and this is the worst thing to say as Ariel receives a punch from the mysterious woman that could have caused more damaged if Ariel didn´t use her phasing abilities right away.
"I´m his sister, you freak" and the woman named Rogue take her glove out and Ariel knows, she can feel in her bones, that this is far different than Damask.
And Deadpool arrives with the head as Kurt explains the situation to Rogue who has a broken nose and Ariel is spitting blood and has a black eye.
"Oh...I thought this human was the one who...Oh, Kurt, I was so scared" Rogue said looking relief. Ariel spit a few more blood spit and the faes can thank Pheonix for the healing ability Rogue got.
The sweet tone pairs in the air indicating that fresh pies are ready for a new day, while, some will be delivered Ifood style, and the saccharine aroma certainly makes the sweet tooth worth of the moniker, yet, one head has no time to truly appreciate the smell (although he wish he could the apple pie certainly makes even a bitter headless horseman want to take a bite)
“So…Are you really going to do it?” Kurt asked trying to not sound to trouble as Ariel may be a scary lady, but, she never truly face a dark fae and Kurt is a strength of nature if he can say so.
“Worried for me?” her head gentle turns to his as now they are in the same level with Kurt D being on the first shelve. Now, she smiles smugly mimicking his style. “Don´t be, I´ll be fine” and adds “plus, I won´t be alone” and she picks up a pink cake box that is on Kurt´s head size perfectly.
Kurt is bemused. “pink?”
“Are you saying your masculinity is that frail that a pink box is a big menace to you?”
“Of course not…you´re having fun with this, aren´t you?”
And Ariel offers a nice smile at him beaming and Kurt only sighs as the pink box is staring at him. “Look, I may be lack common sense to fear you, but, I´m well aware that going to rich parts of the city with a talking head is not the way to go”
Kurt can see her logic, but, voices one question. “Logan told the police will be inspecting the place…I think your disguise is not as well thought as you think”
“Well, Kurt, you can do magic, can´t you?”
“…yes, so that means the plan is not entirely stupid”
The squad is formed. Dani and Rhane will be with section two, Logan and Sunspot will be with the central park, Yana and Karma will be in the boutiques and Ariel will walking around as if she´s doing a deliver herself. Kurt still thinks the plan is dumb but not as dumb as he initially thought.
“Yana and Karma have synchronized our thoughts so if anyone spot the body of Mr Sunshine just calls us mentally and we´ll face this together” Logan states knowing this word is a catchphrase of a teen movie that Jubilee loves to watch religiously.
Everyone nods even though Dani is not showing the same feeling the others are to Logan and is very noticeable she takes the second route to be away from him.
Ariel and the pink cake box are walking in the nicest part of this town. Since there is almost no one and people are too caught up with paranoia to notice a woman talking with a pink box and getting replies from there.
“Is the fae world like this?” Ariel asked now curious.
“Uhm, no, but, I think the sentiment is the same…they prefer luxury over anything…” his tone is sombre and Ariel can see the corner of his face turned into a grimace.
“And your house was like that?”
“Uhm…” now the grimace stops as the fae is pondering “I don´t have a house, per se, I feel more at home riding and killing”
“Oh…I see you like it?”
“Like it?” Kurt repeats the question. "What you mean by that?“
"Well, I work in my bakery but I certainly don´t do only that…” she trails off as Kurt is silent and Ariel was sure he wouldn´t say anything, yet, the fae replies. “would you teach me how to make that apple pie?”
The sound of hoofs are making its own soundtrack in this area as the fog is the curtains covering the horse and the creature riding. And the smell of death is giving a wild berth to it silent stalk the next victim.
And the merry conversation stops as the woman and the pink box notice the fog. And as she turns, there´s no surprise on her part, but, the body was really surprise(incredibly hard to tell) to see its own head being held.
“You´re taller than what I imagined”
“I get that a lot”
And maybe Ariel is being cocky as she forgets or deems not necessary to call back-up and that was a mistake as the body, once appearing to want to be united with his own head, now, is being pulled away by a dark energy, well, a purple hue energy is literally glowing from Kurt´s body.
Kurt growls at the same time his chanting words are being used, sadly with little success as the body does not seem to move. And Ariel notices that the body is vanishing as the fog is lifting.
“Kurt, can you keep a tracking spell or something on the body,” Ariel asked and Kurt didn´t reply until the body is out of the sight.
“Yes and I already did…Son of a bitch” Kurt curses for 3 minutes until he´s calmer now. “That was a doing of the most pathetic fae I ever have the displeasure of meeting. Dark Beast…he has my body…damn”
“Is my fault too. I should have called for back up…”
“No, is not your fault, even if you had called them …Dark Beast´s spell is too strong”
Ariel was properly scowled by Logan who offers no excuses for her mistake, meanwhile, a new plan will be formed and the media will have a nice time saying that the crazy serial killer didn´t take anyone´s life …tonight.
The bells ring in the port as the morning arrives and the good neighbours are still in peace with humans, while, one fae is searching with determination for someone and she has no qualms in killing if is necessary.
“Rogue, Rogue, Rogue!” Deadpool waves at her getting the fae´s attention. Deadpool is a fae that is unknown even by the ancient ones, but, there´s a rumour that he really speaks with Death.
“What´s it, Deadpool?”
“I found your brother”
“I know where Abyss is and I know he´s already dead…killed by his own stupidity” Rogue states coldly.
“So cold and here comes the nice twist, no, Rogue, I know where your grumpy brother is…a pretty lady named Ariel catches his head”
And now Rogue is listening with all the attention. This Ariel woman makes a big mistake in capturing her brother´s head.
Bayville High School is a typical high school that you can find in any place in the US, except, principal Darkholme is a mutant and a terrorist(according to her enemies, of course) and she wants to get more control over her enemies, the X-men…that and give a bit of normal life for her kids.
She recalls that kids that know how to fight like Kurt or Rogue need a bit of normalcy, so, Rogue and Kurt Darkholme are enrolled as well to interact with the students under the false pretence is a mission.
Otherwise, those two wouldn´t let themselves to be in such a place. They are far too similar to Raven, sometimes.
Kurt Darkholme can speak many languages, yet, has no problem in making fun of strangers using German. No one can get what he´s saying.
Jean Grey can understand thanks to her powers, however, has no desire to know what Kurt Darkholme.
Kitty Pryde is watching as Kurt D is speaking one of his speech and merely sighs and speaks “He just asked if we´ll have homework” she speaks and gaze until his eyes smiling.
“Yep, Ichi spreche deine Sprache” Kitty speaks and ever that day Kurt D and Kitty aka Ariel are often seen talking much to the X-men´s dismay and to Raven´s joy.
Raven Darkholme can take the metaphorical armour off as the war is over. Apocalypse is defeated and Raven´s debt with Charles is finally paid, she can leave her blood past behind, well, not yet. Looking back at Anne Marie and Kurt Darkholme, the woman knows she needs to come clean with her family. The meadow is located under the hill of mercy and Raven can now think this is an appropriate name.
“Anne Marie, Kurt, I brought you two here to put my past behind and to move on, my children” Raven gives a weak smile as she opens her arms to hug them, Anne Marie and Kurt are not used to Mystique being so open with affection, normally, she prefers to send affection indirectly.
“Mom? Are you alright?” Anne Marie asked once the hug is broken. The red hair has her hard gaze towards them and then speaks to nowhere. “Please, papa, come out, I´m here, I´m finally here” Raven speaks the last part with a defeated tone, lowering her head as she finally admits she was in the wrong.
Suddenly, a blue creature with a white beard and a red hat. Rogue and Kurt look perplexed as Raven kneels to the blue creature as a soldier does to the king. Kurt is cleaning his eyes too many times to make sure he's not going blind.
“How dare you put your feet here? Raven, when you leave the smurfs, you lost the smurf forever” Papa Smurf replied as other smurfs pop out too. Kurt´s jaw drops and Anne´s eyes widen as the tiny creature is scowling at Raven.
“I want to put the past behind” she replied ignoring her two kids “I was a smurf, I lost the way, and now I ask for forgiveness” her tone is humble and Papa Smurf narrow his eyes at her “How dare to ask for that when you are caring the bones of my kids?”
Raven take the belt and put on the ground as the bones gain flesh and are alive again, smurf walking again. Kurt Darkholme´s jaw still drops.
“But...how?” Papa Smurf asked once his children are back to him, didn´t Raven killed them.
“I´m a smurf and a Smurf never forget to smurf...you send your kids to murder me, I could have killed them, but, I didn´t “ Raven states and Papa Smurf nods.
“I think we all start on the wrong foot, too much blood and anger, maybe we can´t change the past and things will be difficult to forget, but, a Smurf is always welcome here” Papa Smurf replied.
“No, like you said, too much blood and anger is in our past, however, I have kids, a son that is blue as me” Kurt Darkholme´s jaw is still open and Rogue did have to close or her brother would literally catch flies. “I ask you this, in the name of a better future, let my children learn the smurf culture if they so wish, they are heroes and unlike me, they saved and are saving lives”
Papa Smurf looks at the kids and especially at Kurt Darkholme, the old blue creature nods and speaks as a father “Raven, if your kids wish they are free to know more of the smurf culture, let that teach something to us...anger is never the answer, be save my daughter, continue to smurf”
“Like you, Papa Smurf, keep smurfing”
Rogue had to carry Kurt Darkholme as this was the last straw.
Epilogo:
Ariel is humming a merry tone, today the woman wants to do nothing, however, when Kurt Darkholme arrives looking pale as a ghost, her plans changed. “Hey, Kurt are you alright?”
“Call that thing you love to call me” he pleads as hugging Kitty´s form.
“Rockstar?”
“Yes, please?”
“Ok, Rockstar, do you want to talk about something?”
