#apocalyptic suggestions

[various-dark-suggestions]

Pray to your gods while they still live that you will survive the destruction I bring.

[post-nuclear-strike-family]

We will be hosting a holiday movie night on the 23rd!

Location: 9 C̵̨̧̬̹͉̺͐̆̒̌̉͜͜t̵̡̼̤̙͍̪̃̊̊̐͌̈̅̋̕ͅḧ̶͈̜́̅ų̴̱̳̟͊l̸͔͙̳͎͔͈̲͍͂͛̎͝u̵̡̱͕͌͌ Rd. (look for the red house just left of the seething mass of tentacles)

WARNING!!! DO NOT APPROACH THE TENTACLES. YOU MUST SACRIFICE AT LEAST HALF OF ANY FOOD YOU BRING TO THE TENTACLES. 

Date and time: 23.12.2144, 7pm

Movie: Cats: a Holiday Special (2140 ver.)

Legal: yes*

Other info: bring your own gas mask; pets must be under control; do not touch any plants (yes, any. no matter what you see, it’s probably carnivorous and/or highly carcinogenic)

*not accounting for sudden governmental changes, so be sure to bring your ID and proof of existence

[various-dark-suggestions]

“Please remain calm,

The end has arrived.

We cannot save you,

Endure the ride.

This is the moment

You’ve been waiting for.

Don’t call it a warning;

This is a war.”

~ Parasite Eve by Bring Me The Horizon

[post-nuclear-strike-family]

My mother decided to come home for the holidays, which would be nice if she didn’t bring a horrible strain of plague spore disease with her... I can barely get work done anyways with the oldest kids on break and the youngest’s eyes coming in. And now I need to clean up my mom’s pus leakage. No wonder a third of apocalypse survivors are moms-- our job is tougher than any armageddon #girlboss

[post-nuclear-strike-family]

Job offering

One time job offering: hanging up our holiday lights!

Hubby and I figured that we shouldn’t let these difficult times ruin this holiday season, so we will be needing someone to put up our outdoor string lights. We have somewhere around 140 ft of string lights we ALWAYS put up in a star shape on the top of the facade, but with the collapsed roof we may need to be creative in terms of placement. However, IT MUST BE A STAR. We will not let one collapsed roof compromise our family traditions! 

Pay: $250-$300 (price negotiable)

Health hazards: since it’s outside, you will be expected to bring your own gas mask. We cannot guarantee the absence of lingering radiation, and do not take any responsibility for radiation poisoning. PLEASE WEAR LONG PANTS/KNEE HIGH SOCKS AND CLOSED TOE SHOES-- our grass may irritate skin (2nd-3rd degree chemical burns).

Shoot me an email if you’re interested!

[post-nuclear-strike-family]

Me and the youngest— his eyes 👀 are starting to surface already. Feels like yesterday he still had a smooth baby 👶 face.... Time flies!

[various-dark-suggestions]

“We will build a new world from the ruins of the old. We will plant flowers in the rotten ribcage and let them grow to hold the sky from falling.”

~ Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs {excerpt from a page}