Packs/Items: Packs A&J, Hand Warmers (2 packs), Down Vest
Injuries: Bruise along collarbone (nothing too serious)
Events: Woke up almost frozen solid, dragged my allies out of the clubhouse, decided on hunting to the south and came across the lovers from Twelve, Carly-Beth insisted on taking Lily on by herself and ended up being blown up, Sabine and I struggled with Caradoc and he ended up drowning her to which I did the same to him, I left Lily alone to mourn and headed north, Sabine’s parents sent me a little care package and I got sentimental for a moment, ended up taking the warp pipe to the eleventh hole where I’m camping for the night. Today was an eventful day.
pack B, needle and thread, some golf balls, and loads of venison
Injuries (please note if treated or untreated):
nah son just minor bruises on the chest and left arm from a vicious rogue robot
Notes (i.e. plot advancements, general notes on what happened during the day, feelings on events):
made myself a little home in the forest with nice traps and even a lavender border after I was attacked by a mean golf ball robot retriever. super relieved that Del is okay but super heartbroken that Avery is not (in fact she dead)
I had fallen asleep, flat in the middle of the field, after having a small "meal" of star apples. Well, one star apple, but what difference did it make? I was going to die anyway and without Caradoc I was essentially dead. The only person who ever truly cared about me was gone. And therefore, so was I.
I didn't dream. All I saw was a black mist - an empty nothingness. The inside of my eyelids. My mind was empty too. Just a constant static sound resonating in every corner. Like the continuous tingling scratch a tv makes when it loses reception. Or when a heart stops and the EKG beeps a long beep and never stops. Is that how the rest of my life go on? Seeing nothing, feeling nothing, being nothing?
And I was reminded of my loss the moment I heard the horns. A sickening blare, jolting me from the darkness of my mind. The Capitol seal flashed over the sky. That morning I would have swooned at it. But I looked at it with heavy eyes and a hurting heart.
I couldn't even be proud of Carly-Beth's death. I just couldn't. The girl who shoved a grenade into her chest and watched it explode was a girl with someone to look up to. A girl who was in love and who had meaning. That girl in the sky was not me. Not anymore. It couldn't. Not without him.
And the static took over again until Caradoc's face appeared in the sky. Whatever left of me shattered in that moment. I stared at his face, feeling as if I were about to burst. He was in my life since I was a little girl. Every day, every second, every memory was with him. And there he was, up in the sky.
I felt a hand shake me lightly and I forced my undamaged eye open to see Jeremiah and Kineos standing over me. While I hadn't exactly fallen asleep, I was dangerously close to passing out. Pushing myself into a sitting position, I winced as I was reminded once again of the gash in my shin. Fuck.
Reaching into my pocket, I fished out out the key to Sheila. So much for the rabbit's foot bringing me any luck. I looked at Kineos, "Bring her around, would you? We need to clean ourselves up and get moving." I looked at Jeremiah, gripping his uninjured arm and allowing him to pull me up. "Could I use the spear?" I asked, hoping to use it as a crutch.
I had been sharpening some sticks with my dagger and chewing on small bits of cooked venison when I hear more cannons go off. My eyes immediately shoot up from my work. Five have already gone off today and I always wonder if Delilah, or worse, Avery, got hurt. I never admitted anything to them or even myself, but I wanted them both safe, even if that wasn't possible in the long run.
A few moments later, or maybe it was an hour later because I might have drifted asleep, I hear the familiar Capitol theme song signalling the Fallen. I sit up against the tree and keep my eyes alert for familiar faces.
First, I immediately spot Delilah. I quietly mouth no to myself as I watch as the gruesome battle took place between the three Career girls and the couple from Twelve. I remember Caradoc vaguely from training but my interaction with him wasn't enough to wish him health and well-being, at not least not in this instance. Carly-Beth wasn't pleasant to be around, but if she was on Delilah's alliance, then for her sake, I hope she'd make it. Unfortunately, she didn't as I watched her insides become outsides and I grimace at just how gruesome this battle was. But where was Delilah, I kept thinking this whole time. Finally, I see her in the water when cannons go off. No, no, no, I whisper, my body leaning forward as if that might drop me into that instance to save Delilah. But like always, Delilah never needs saving and I see her run off. I sigh with relief and count Carly-Beth, Sabine (the odd, quiet Career), and Caradoc.
The next scene was between Zeke and Avery and Jermiah, Kineos, and a girl named Joule. The fight was intense, but when I saw Avery limp, my heart sunk. I sat there, wishing, hoping, that she would make it out okay. I wanted her to just get in the cart and run away, forget Zeke and the fight, just go and stay safe, but she didn't and I had to watch Joule finish off Avery. I wanted to look away but I couldn't tear my eyes apart, as if keeping my eyes on the screen will rewind it and show a different outcome where Avery lived. But the screen pans out and blackens into nothing.
Five dead, one of them Avery. I sigh and look down. If only I had said something, I could have protected her, but I never got to and Zeke had to protect her. I just hope that they were happy now, together, in the afterlife.
I didn't realize that I was stretched out so far until I leaned back down against the tree trunk. I let out a long sigh; five more dead yesterday, five today. It was slowly dwindling down. Half the Careers were already dead and there was still a lot standing between me and home. I stopped my thoughts before they became more twisted. Being alone in an arena where children fight each other does horrible things to the mind.
I let my feet take me where they wanted. I didn't care anymore. I didn't care where I ended up or who I ended with. I found myself heading south. When I reached the flag of the 3rd hole I stopped and plopped myself on the ground, just lying down looking up at the sky.
I don't want to be here anymore, Caradoc. I don't want to be here, or in the Capitol, or back in District 12. I don't want to be anywhere. I want to be with you.
I'm not sure how much time had passed of me just staring at the sky. But eventually I pulled my pack onto my chest and ate a star apple. It was heavy in my mouth, bitter despite its sweetness and completely unfulfilling.
Those birds were pretty vicious, but I got away without a scratch. Some part of me just wanted to tear them apart, but it might be the lack of action I have been getting. I've only encountered one tribute and that was over pretty quickly.
I was getting antsy, especially not knowing exactly what was happening in other parts of the arena. I emitted a low sigh and continued to drive the golf cart.
It was definitely fun riding along in the golf cart. I felt like I could do anything. I wasn't going super fast, but I was well on my way to...wherever I wanted to end up I guess.
The sky was clear and it was a beautiful day. If I wasn't on the lookout for anything suspicious, I might actually be enjoying myself. If I was back in One that would be great. Flint and I would have taken this thing out for a joyride. Hopefully picked up a couple of the other guys and invited some girls to have a friendly game of volleyball or something stupid like that.
As much as I wanted to win, I was more excited to go home. Actually more like I was excited to go home and get praise for the crown I would be bringing there. Life would get better and more fun.
I turned the cart south and emerged on to a large fairway. There was a flag near where I exited the little patch of trees that I crossed. It read '15'. I guess I was on hole 15. I stopped the cart just shy of a sand trap and jumped out.
I stretched my body and limbered up. I ate another fruit cup and drank a bit more of my pineapple juice. I was ready for some action, but I was also sort of hoping that everybody would kill each other for me.
The ink on the page makes my heart catch in my throat. I swore I wouldn't get attached, I swore I wouldn't cry, and to my credit I don't. Searching for the nearest camera I turn to face it mouthing the words "thank you" to it before folding up the slip of paper and shoving it in my pocket. Sabine was a better person than I was; she hadn't even wanted to be here and now she was dead because of her selfish parents. She would never admit it but I'd seen it in her. I owe it to her, and to Carly-Beth who despite being off the deep end a little had been my closest thing to a friend. These girls don't deserve my tears, they deserve blood.
Pushing myself up to stand, I figure I should give my legs a little more of a rest before continuing onwards to nowhere. I take this time to sort through the two packs I have, deciding on what I needed to keep and what could be left behind. The poncho had been left wrapped around Caradoc's head so that left a little more room. I drank the thermos of soup and dumped the fishy crackers into the lake, finding there was enough room to fit everything snuggly into the one pack.
Only now was I realizing how wet I still was. My mind had been so preoccupied with everything else happening that it barely registered that my clothes were soaking wet. Not caring for modesty I strip out of them and lay them in a patch of sunlight to dry. With nothing better to do I pull out my sleeping bag and lean myself against a tree. Apparently I was exhausted because I barely have to close my eyelids and I drifted off into an uneasy sleep.
I couldn't have been asleep for more than a few hours before I jolt awake with my sword gripped tightly in my hand. The sun is starting to descend and I check on my clothes, finding them still a little damp but for the most part dry. Slipping them on I continue my way around the lake, heading northwards without a particular direction. As the day transitions to night I find myself standing once again on a now deserted sixth fairway, the familiar pipe looming menacingly ahead of me. The clubhouse was only another hour or so walk away but I really wasn't too interested in heading back there.
"Fuck it." I sigh out loud. Seeing no better option I step foot into the pipe and feel the familiar stomach wrenching push and pull before popping out on a darkening eleventh fairway. Once again it seems deserted which suits me just fine, I'd much rather save a fight for tomorrow. I walk the short distance to the trees and hunker down for the night among the tree cover. The sleeping bag and new vest do wonders to keep me warm but thanks to my mid day nap I'm not too tired just yet. With my back propped against a tree I listen and wait for the night sky to broadcast who else has joined Caradoc and my bad girls.
