My Tears Could Cause More Damage Than These Floods || Arena Day 3 OS
I woke up way closer to the water than I was last night. I was surprised the shitstorm of a hurricane didn't wake me up first. Then again, only Caradoc could rouse me out of my sleep. And he was dead. The winds were blowing the green to shreds and the rain was coming down hard. I was completed drenched in water. But I just lay flat on the soaked ground looking up at the thundering sky above.
The storm and I had a lot in similar. We both wanted to rage and scream and wreck havoc on this sorry arena. The only difference was that did not have the strength to do so. Caradoc was my energy and spirit.
I pick myself up from the ground, gathered my belongings and head directly north. The storm reminded me of the rain in District 12 right before Caradoc and I left. I moped onward, forcing the memories away from my mind.
Along the way I could make out a boy, running slight southeast. I think it was the Asian looking boy, I really couldn't tell. I thought about going after him but he wasn't my target. So I ignored him, letting him go on his marry way and kept going north.
Three cannons boomed shortly after I passed the second hole. Just one more death and I would be among the top ten. But would winning give me? Caradoc is what I want I need. Not money, or fame. Screw that shit. Bring Caradoc back to me, and maybe, just maybe, I'd stop being a fucking cynic.
I slowed down when I reached an area full of uprooted trees. I estimated that was directly west from the first hole in the group of trees that sat above the second hole. It seems a tornado flew by earlier. Whatever. Good enough for me. I don't care anymore. I settled down, nestling my self behind a crap load of fallen trees. I assumed my earlier position, staring at the storm that was just starting to die down.
Location: In the field by the 3rd hole
Allies: "... shut the fuck up."
Weapons: War Hammer, Machete
Even More Things I Hate:
Items: Pack C; no grenade
Injuries: eye infection, small cuts on elbow and ankles, wound on foot
Notes:
"She's gone. I blew her up. He's gone too and I have nothing. I am nothing. I hate everything and I hate everyone and I wish everyone on this fucking planet would drop dead. Especially you, Delilah."
I had fallen asleep, flat in the middle of the field, after having a small "meal" of star apples. Well, one star apple, but what difference did it make? I was going to die anyway and without Caradoc I was essentially dead. The only person who ever truly cared about me was gone. And therefore, so was I.
I didn't dream. All I saw was a black mist - an empty nothingness. The inside of my eyelids. My mind was empty too. Just a constant static sound resonating in every corner. Like the continuous tingling scratch a tv makes when it loses reception. Or when a heart stops and the EKG beeps a long beep and never stops. Is that how the rest of my life go on? Seeing nothing, feeling nothing, being nothing?
And I was reminded of my loss the moment I heard the horns. A sickening blare, jolting me from the darkness of my mind. The Capitol seal flashed over the sky. That morning I would have swooned at it. But I looked at it with heavy eyes and a hurting heart.
I couldn't even be proud of Carly-Beth's death. I just couldn't. The girl who shoved a grenade into her chest and watched it explode was a girl with someone to look up to. A girl who was in love and who had meaning. That girl in the sky was not me. Not anymore. It couldn't. Not without him.
And the static took over again until Caradoc's face appeared in the sky. Whatever left of me shattered in that moment. I stared at his face, feeling as if I were about to burst. He was in my life since I was a little girl. Every day, every second, every memory was with him. And there he was, up in the sky.
I let my feet take me where they wanted. I didn't care anymore. I didn't care where I ended up or who I ended with. I found myself heading south. When I reached the flag of the 3rd hole I stopped and plopped myself on the ground, just lying down looking up at the sky.
I don't want to be here anymore, Caradoc. I don't want to be here, or in the Capitol, or back in District 12. I don't want to be anywhere. I want to be with you.
I'm not sure how much time had passed of me just staring at the sky. But eventually I pulled my pack onto my chest and ate a star apple. It was heavy in my mouth, bitter despite its sweetness and completely unfulfilling.
I did it. I fucking did it. I slaughtered that poor bitch and boy, did I enjoy it. I made her eat every fucking word. I deserved a trophy with the phrase "Mofo Who Put Carly-Beth Lovett In Her Place " engraved on it. This wasn't just a victory on my end though - this was a victory for each and every person that bitch managed to piss of in her short life. And I just couldn't wait to tell Caradoc. I ran away from her body, pushing through the pain in my foot. He'd be so proud of me. "That.. is how you teach a bitch a lesson," he'd tell me. I'd grin up at him and let him ruffle my hair.
When I returned however, I was confused. Two bodies lay floating in the water. The redhead career from training was there too but. Something was off. I approached the lake slowly, but I already knew.
"Delilah I suggest you leave." I said quietly, staring at Caradoc's body in the lake. I didn't care if she heard me or not. "Because I'll find a way to fuck you up."
I didn't pay attention while I fished Caradoc out of the water. I just found myself on the floor, his head passed out on my lap.
"Babe..." I whispered. "Wake up. We- we- you... You have to wake up. Please." I sat there, the minutes of silence feeling like decades.
"Caradoc, I killed Carly-Beth. You- you should have seen it. She was a mess." I pleaded. "Y-you have to stop being dead because I did it. Okay? I did something for once without you. I- I did it by myself without you there! So get up.. and give me a hug cause I really need it right now..." I was sobbing by then, all control of my emotions gone. "Please. I need you."
I touched his forehead with my own and cried harder. My body was trembling. Aching like I had just lifted five hundred pounds. He was gone. And I don't know what to do.
"This is all my fault. I shouldn't have left."
"Caradoc." I sobbed . "When I was 16... I- I told you I wanted to see the Capitol. And you took me in your arms.... and you told me you would make it happen. And when we got there.... you told you me you loved me. How could anyone love me, I thought. I'm crazy, and stupid, and rude, and clingy, and annoying, and there is nothing below me in this world. I am as rock bottom as it freaking gets... but you insisted you loved me. And now you're gone. What the hell am I suppose to do? You don't claim someone's heart and then fucking die, okay? Just quit it! You stupid fuck."
The last conversation I had with him was an argument. The last thing he heard me say was me telling him to fuck off. He deserved so much better than me.
Suddenly I felt guilty again. I jumped away from his body. I hurried up and pack up my stuff and I got the hell out of there. Caradoc was still with me. He was still here. I was still okay. I had to force myself to believe that.
I wake to the sound of a brawl, not one between humans, but between animals. The flapping of large wings and an annoying squawking you'd think their owners would be a little bit scarier. But their just geese. I follow Caradoc out of our shelter, my war hammer in hand. The geese are attacking a turtle but I soon as they see us, they attack. It's like they latched on to a specific target. Not a moving target though.
I step away just as the cranes could have made impact. Caradoc does the same, letting the cranes fly dizzily in the wrong direction. I grip the handle of my war hammer with my hand and whack the bird on the left as soon as it whizzed by me. The bird collapses from the air and lands on the ground a few feet away from me.
"Not so bad..." I say sleepily, walking over to the bird. Now that I'm closer I can tell the bird is still alive. It's wild eyes look at me as if I'm prey. It flaps its wings and kicks it feet trying to get back up and bite me. I bury the head of my war hammer into it's skull. The bird sinks back into lifelessly and I turn around to see Caradoc still fighting the other bird.
Soon enough, we're both goose-free and alive with minor cuts from the livid birds. Caradoc tells me he has an idea to fish turtles out of the water without injuring ourselves. That will be useful. I don't think we can rely on more geese as food, nor do I want to.
"Alright. I'm going to get a fire started. We need to cook the leftover meat from last night and these geese." I say. He lets me borrow his sickle in exchange for the war hammer so I can get wood more easily.
We don't discuss whether or not we want to stay in this spot. I think, by now, its evident. I just hope we don't regret the notion of being sitting ducks.
Location: The pond just above hole #3
Allies: My babe, Caradoc
Weapons: War Hammer
Pack: Pack C
Injuries: Eye infection, cuts on elbow and ankles; untreated
♛ Important Stuff:
Notes:
Pretty uneventful day. The bird poop was annoying. Caradoc and I managed to find a good spot to settle down for the night. I'm not sure whether or not we'll be nomads during this game. The morning will tell. Peace!
I’ve sawed off about 3 long branches of wood when Lily comes back to me, I can tell she’s angry before she has the chance to say anything. She’s wet from the waist down, and her elbows, once peachy, are now a a red-ish color.
I pocket the dagger and drop the last sawed branch on the floor. “Woah, what happened to you?”
"Oh my god, what’s that smell? did you get shitted on?" her visor is stained with a white glob of God-knows-what and I can only hope that the Game Makers had a fun time making that happen.
"Hmp, yeah I wish. Bloody bird decided I was a nice target. Anyway, the lake's full of snapping turtles. They could make pretty good food if we could fish 'em out with injuring ourselves."
With the wood branches he managed to gather, Caradoc and I create our shelter, nicely concealed by the surrounding shrubbery. We each have a star apple, saving the rest for the days that come. Before we cal it quits for the night we use a bit of the mosquito repellent for protection.
Sometime during the night I'm awoken by the sound of horns. The fallen. I look up at the sky, watching the faces pass by. Only 5 have died on day one this year. It must be a record. These bitches are tougher than I expected.. I drift back to sleep, the war hammer clutched in my hands in case anything happens.
Good idea to wash off in the lake… very very good idea. As you do, you feel a nip at your elbow. It’s sharp and breaks your skin. Soon your ankles feel a pinch. What’s that in the water? Something you’ve disturbed… angry snapping turtles. As if the bird shit wasn’t enough.
The biting on my skin instantly puts me into panic mode. I feel around for what's biting me, my hand instantly coming into contact with a hard shell. Turtles. Hmm. Okay. Relax. I pry the turtle mouth away from my elbow. The turtle is stronger than I expected. It fights back, squeezing tighter. "Shit, turtles are deadly" I mutter, trying to cope through the pain. I use as much force as my one hand can handle, the turtle gives way and I grab it's neck, squeezing tight until my knuckles go white.
Just as I think I'm free I feel a similar snip on my ankles. Screw everything and everything. I trek towards the shore of the lake battling through the pain, the turtle still attached to my ankle. When I'm out of the water I crouch down and use my hands to remove the turtle from my ankle. "You're a little bitch, you know that right. But I hear turtle soup is pretty good.." I groan, freeing my ankle and snapping the turtles jaw by accident. I didn't mean too, but it did the job. Plus, the little fucker attacked me. All I wanted to do was wash away the bird crap.
I toss the turtle's corpse ahead of me, taking note of where I leave it so I can bring it back to Caradoc. Don't go in the lake, there are turtles there. At least it's a source of food. I go back to the area to start making our shelter.
While away from her lover, little Lily hides in between a cluster of trees. As you hide, it’s unclear as to what you’re doing. Lying in wait? Being unhelpful while Cara breaks his back making a shelter? As you look around, you feel something drop onto the bill of your hat. Naturally, you look up just in time to catch whatever it was right in the eye. You wipe it off, disgusted by the feel. With one eye still closed, you look at the substance with the other. It’s white. It’s… bird poop. Well shit. Literally.
I'm just about to start digging a small trench around the area for our base when something lands on my face. "Whatthefuck?!" I say, wiping my face. "Oh my fucking - Are you kidding me??" I shout. It's shit. It's fucking bird shit. "LISTEN YOU STUPID PIGEON, I WILL GET YOU AND COOK YOU!"
I clean my face with my hands and shake off the crap onto the grounds. I swear if this bird happened to be radioactive or some shit I will make sure my ghost haunts the fuck out the gamemakers and that stupid bird. I run to the nearest edge of the lake carefully rinse off my hands with a portion of water that's not cluttered by algae. I quickly wipe my face and get my feet. There's no wear I'm going to smell like bird crap for the next 24 hours.
"Yeah, here," I hand her the small sickle and wish her good luck before heading over to a patch of trees. They remind me of the ones I saw in Private Training; flammable, defenseless, easy to destroy. The thought tempts me with every passing moment. In time, I remind myself. I inspect the tree before I start sawing off a branch, if there’s a bee’s nest or something equally horrifying living in here, I want to know before I start destroying it’s habitat.
Luckily, the coast seems clear from what I can see, so I start sawing at the nearest branch that I can reach. Although climbing would probably keep me hidden for a longer amount of time, I don’t want to risk anything that might get me put out of these games early.
"Thanks," I say, taking the sickle in my free hand. The walk to the southern cluster of trees is quiet. It was longer than I expected, perhaps ten or twelve minutes from Cara.
As I reach the entrance to the thicket I stretch. It's somewhere between noon and mid afternoon judging by the sun, but my body says it's been ages. Still, there are things that need to be done. I hop over a bush, letting myself into the cluster of trees, wondering if there'll be any weird gamemaker shit waiting for me.
"I managed to get a sickle and dagger. It’s not much, but it’s better then nothing." I pause for a moment to think about the shelter, "I’m not exactly sure, We could cut down a tree branch with the sharp side of my dagger and use the branches for something, but I’m not exactly sure how to make a something decent."
I eye the small grenade as she places it into the bag. I’m glad it’s there, but I’m worried, too. If someone else realizes it’s there they could use it against us. As I survey the area, I notice there’s a cluster of trees near this lake, it would probably be smart to use their resources and once we’re done move to the edges of the arena, where I can faintly see a larger patch of trees.
I hunch myself up from my sitting position, and offer a hand to Lily, “Okay so, shelter, I’ll gather the materials and you start making it?”
"We can make it work." The gamemakers always put weird as hell weapons in the bloodbath. Nothing really useful. Unorthodox methods of killing. Things that will look 'cool' and keep their president-but-actually-dictator happy. My war hammer's a lot like the pick axes I worked with in District 12 for a while. At least that's a plus.
"Yeah. I'll start hollowing out a clearing inside of that cluster over there." I say, gesturing to the group of trees south on the lake we're standing by. "Hey, can I borrow that sickle? I think it can be useful to clear out some space."
"Shh, let’s not talk about that." I return her smirk with a coy smile. "Oh, what else?" I ask. There has to be more then food in these packs, or else why would everyone go for it. As she rummages through the pack, I’m hopeful that she’ll withdraw some sort of weapon that would be useful to us. When she pulls out a pair of night vision goggles, I can’t help but want to try them on, "Woah, these are awesome. Now I can clearly see you naked in the dark." I chuckle and try them on, even though they’re useless during the day, they’re cool to try on.
I’m shaken when she starts screaming, at first all I heard was grenade, and my heart jumped to my throat. “Oh my god, It’s like Xanthus wants me to burn this shit down!”
She lays the grenade gingerly and keeps shuffling through the pack, nothing else seems immediately useful in there except for the mosquito repellent and the boot spikes. “We should share the boot spikes, you get one and I get one, just in case.”
"Asshole." I say, making a face at him. "Alright so we've got pretty good stuff. Any ideas for a shelter?" I toss him one of the boot spikes and slip the other in my golfer pants pocket. We could probably make something concealed behind the trees and shrubbery. The only probably is tracking down a material. I'd go for wood if I had an axe rather than a war hammer.
"Xanthus will fry your ass in that fire. But it would totally be worth it." I put our goodies back into our pack, giving the grenade a little extra attention. I swear, I want to set that thing off right now. But something tells me it'll be more fun when some bitches want to play. I rise to my feet and dust off my hands. "Come on, let's look around. Important things must be done."
"Pfft, fine. You have cooties anyway." I stick my tongue out at her just as she lets go on the idea of throwing me in the river. Good thing too, because I know she’d do it and I’d probably come back out of it with another arm of a missing leg. I follow Lily’s lead and sit down on the grass floor next to her; I make sure to survey the grass before I sit. It would suck to have plopped myself down in an ant pile.
When she unzips her bag, I’m hopeful for what it may provide. When she pulls out the grasshoppers I can’t help but smile, “I know we’re from District Twelve, but I don’t remember grasshoppers being a staple food in our diet.” Then she pulls out some star apples, and I can’t deny the fact that those look pretty good. The bamboo shoots were next, and then the coconut milk. “Excuse you, I’m always classy.” My mouth waters as she takes a quick swig of the coconut milk, when she hands it to me, I down a portion of it too. I let out a satisfying ‘ahhh’ as I remove the bottle from my lips.
"Always classy? Hmm. You didn't seem so classy the last time you were drunk.." I smirk. The food we have is a good hull, but we can't go crazy with it. I seriously doubt the either of us have sponsors and if that's true, we'll have to ration out everything we've got. It's a good thing I'm used to not eating. "No, there's more stuff here..." I say rummaging through the pack.
I pull out a pair of night vision goggles and squeak. "Now we are talking! These are cool as fuck." I bring them up to my eyes. It's too bright to see any thing but they'll be useful later. I toss them to Caradoc, knowing he'll want to check them out. My hands grasp something round in shape in the pack, a pineapple like grid engraved in it. I know what is before I even pull my hand out the pack. "Holy shit, Cara!! It's a grenade! We have a grenade!! Why the fuck is there only one?? I wanna blow this shit up!!"
I set the grenade down and check what else is in the pack. A tree climbing belt, a strap... mosquito repellent and boot spikes. "Hmmp. Pretty useful stuff." We might actually be okay for a while.
Running like this with Lily reminds me of our time at District Twelve, when we would sneak out The Coalition and go on our escapades throughout the District. Life was simpler then, but in the same way, so much more complicated. Simple, in that we didn’t have to worry about being in a game of death, and complicated in that we didn’t know what we were facing when we volunteered. Now we know what we’re up against, and that has to at least count for something.
Lily still manages to reach the edge of the pond before me, I curse at myself under my breath. “Can I exchange it for a kiss?” I pucker my lips at her and raise my eyebrows up and down comically. “Come baby, we can put this all behind us.”
I cross my arms. I'm not getting conned out of this. I glance at the water and back at Caradoc, who looks ridiculous with his expression. "Pff! Hell no!" I laugh. "Not with those weird eyebrows. You'll get your comeuppances when you least expect it." I smile at him and grab the pack from the ground. Looks like I have some time to inspect my loot now that I'm not pushing him into the lake.
I settle down onto the floor and unzip the pack. The first thing I pull out is thin box labeled with some sort of Captiol brand. Chocolate covered grasshoppers. "The fuck?.." I say, setting them down slowly. Can't be picky I guess? Next follows some star apples, bamboo shoots, both edible and some coconut milk. "These people are insane with the kind of food they're giving us. Trying to make us classy as we murder each other. Pinkies up!" I toss the container of coconut milk to Caradoc, knowing he was thirsty since we escaped the bloodbath.
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