'Do you want the truth or something beautiful?' ✿ Goodbyes
The Justice Building was a lot more beautiful than I thought it was. I'd never been inside of it before because I'd never had a reason to. Now I guess I did. The little room they put me into was small, quaint and you could tell that even though it was barely used it was still loved and looked after. I wasn't waiting for long until my family came into the room with looks of sadness and despair upon their faces which just wouldn't do, not when this was going to be the last time I was ever going to see them again.
Jamelia came running up to me first and she was crying and it just broke my heart.
"Hey sweetheart! Why are you crying for?! I'm not crying, am I? No it's because I'm happy and you should be happy to! I'm going to the Capitol, I'm going to wear pretty dresses and have nice food, I'm going to make loads of new friends from different Districts. Hey, you never know I might even meet a nice boy." and with that she stuck her tongue out in disgust. She wasn't crying any more and that's what was the most important thing. "And then when all the nice things are over, the best thing of all will happen, and you know what that is?" I whispered in her ear and she shook her head. "I get to see my parents, I'll go to Heaven and I will find true peace. And there is nothing sad about that. You don't need to cry sweetheart because I will be happy." and that wasn't a lie. There will be pain and suffering towards my journey of true peace but nothing was ever easy.
After I calmed Jamelia down, I gave Vivvy and Naveen a hug and thanked them for the kindness they had showed me in my time of need. "If you didn't take me in I wouldn't have become the person I am today." and although they were also crying they were smiling too. I leaned in to give them a hug and asked them not to watch the Games in a hushed voice because if there was something they didn't need or deserve to see, it was my death.
"No more tears okay everyone!" I beamed at them and soon the Peacekeeper was here to usher me out of the room and into the car that will take me to the Capitol.
I'm glad to turn away from Raziel's smug face as I enter the Justice Building. A peacekeeper pushes me into a small room, away from Caradoc, and closes the door. That wasn't a smart idea. No one's going to visit me. I'd be damned if my parents actually remembered they had a kid. So I'm fully justified when I disrupt the weak security system and pop open the window on the back wall.
I jump down, catching the window sill just in time and swinging myself to the next window. The sill is too small for me to sit comfortably on but I have to make due. I tap on the window and smile when I get Caradoc's attention.
"Hey." I say as he opens the window and lets me inside. The room is a complete identical of the one I just left. "What the hell was taking you so long to volunteer?" I ask. I'm not angry, but I am slightly scared. I thought something was happening to him.. or that I was going alone.
I'm reassured, however, as he explains to me his target was the little boy who's name was called. Classic Caradoc. Always out for intimidation. I'm just about to pull him into a hug when I hear the door creaking open.
I race out the window, telling Caradoc we'll talk more this later on. When I return to my window, Iris is sitting on a couch, a deathly look on her face.
"Jesus Christ, Lily, don't you know who you're messing with here?" She says weakly as I bring myself through the window. "You can get into legitimate trouble doing these stupid things, for once just behave yourself."
I scoff and close the window. Behave myself? Nah. "No way, Iris. I'm not a prissy dainty little one who follows procedures. And it's not like a ran off or attacked someone. I went to see Caradoc."
Iris crosses her arms but I can tell she's still upset. "You need to appear innocent, Lily." She says sternly. "Like an innocent, prissy, dainty, little one." She repeats my words and for some reason it stings.
I know why of course. It's for protection. But that would be lying. I am not a fucking liar. "You looked so innocent on stage. Aside from the middle finger you flashed on national television. Just please, take my advice."
A peacekeepers throws the door open and takes Iris by the arm. "Hey! You be careful with her - show some respect for the fucking elderly, asshole." I snap. Through her eyes I can tell Iris is pleading. Maybe she actually cares about me.
"I'll think about it Iris... I'll think about it." The peacekeeper pulls her away and I'm taken to the train's platform. Caradoc is already there, relaxed as if nothing just happened. I'm only two steps from my destination now. If only the devils didn't have anything planned to stop me.
Once I'm in the lush waiting room, I sit myself on a red, velvety armchair as I wait for my brother and uncle. The door finally opens and Kukane does everything he can from running in.
"This is dumb; there has to be something we can do to change this," he goes on, but I place my hand on his shoulder to stop him.
"It's already done." I'm nervous, of course, but all I can do now is to try my best to survive. Maybe I could pull a Raina until the end and only fight once. There are just so many factors.
"Kukane, Kyan has trained alongside you throughout the years. He'll be fine," Uncle Amanaki says. Kukane is clearly unconvinced as his worrisome crease remains on his face.
"Yea. And my scores aren't too far off yours. Some are even better than yours," I jest, trying to lighten up the mood. "Don't worry about me, brother," I tell him more seriously. "I can fight relatively well, I have people skills," I smirk. "What more do I need to survive?"
I feel like most of the time was spent trying to console my brother than it was sending me off, but that's how our family has always been. But I know that Kukane just always worries about me, afraid to lose his only baby brother. If I die, then it'll just be Kukane and Amanaki in the family. Our family was small enough as it is.
And soon, time was up.
"Kyan. Stay near water," Kukane says to me as one final piece of advice. "Stay near what you're comfortable with." I nod and smile, giving him and my uncle one last hug before the Peacekeepers escort them out.
|| Zeke Grenich || Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. ||
The peacekeepers lead me to a room adjacent to the main hall of the justice building. He directed me to a small sofa, and I sat down. Kicking my feet back to calm down and relax. Everything that had just happened set me off, like I was about to head in to the ring. A few minutes later, the door creaked open, and in walked a familiar face. A familiar face that I had not seen for a few years.
Rose.
I jumped from the sofa and ran towards her, wrapping my arms around her. I buried my face in her neck, and tears of joy ran down my face. I pulled back to look into her eyes, and she placed a cool hand on my cheek.
"Zeke, you're as tense as ever. Just as how I remember you." I laughed, picking her up off of her feet and spinning her around, my lips landed on her cheek, giving her a meaningful kiss.
"I thought I'd lost you forever! Rose! I thought you had died!" I sat down on the sofa, Rose's legs wrapped around my waist, clinging on to me. She leaned backwards, her hair falling down her back, a smile forming on her lips.
"But Zeke, I did die.." Her words almost sounded unreal, and I brushed them aside, a joke.. That's all they were.
"Stop fooling around, you're in my arms!" I kissed her cheek again, then looked at a crack in the roof that had started to form. I stood up off of the sofa and placed Rose back on her feet.
She got up onto her toes to reach my ear, and her lips opened. Her mouth forming the words I had yearned to hear for a long time. "I love you, Zeke." The crack started to get bigger and bigger, as the seconds passed.
My throat felt dry, but I began forcing the words out. "Rose, I-" The crack in the roof smashed open, and a pile of rocks fell from the ceiling, falling closer and closer to Rose.
I went to push her out of the way, but she seemed to have moved a few meters away, out of my reach. I lunged for her, but the rocks beat me to her yet again.
I knelt down next to her, cradling her body in my arms. Not again. This couldn't be happening again. I had failed to save the love of my life again..
Tears rushed from my eyes, I screamed at the top of my lungs for Rose to come back to me, but it was hopeless.
I had failed her. I had failed myself. I had failed Chusda.
The door flew open, awakening me from my sleep, and in the doorway stood my mother and father. "Son! What's wrong? You were screaming, and when we opened the door, you looked like you were just waking up." I brushed them off as I always did, realizing I had just taken part in a torturous dream.
"Oh.. Just a bad dream. I'm sorry." I sat up, and they pulled chairs up to face me. My mother grabbed my hands, and my father laid a hand on my shoulder
"Son, we are proud of you. You don't let us show it, but you have turned into such an amazing young man." Tears fell from their eyes, and a single one formed in my own.
"Thanks.. I love you guys.." They both hugged me, and got up to leave. Nothing special. Nothing momentous.
Moments after they left, Doyle and Brink entered the room. Brink ran up to me, and we knocked knuckles. "I see you took my advice, Doyle. Brink, you better look after him, same goes for you, Doyle. Don't get like me and Chusda.. Just, don't." We all sat around talking for a few minutes before the door opened and they were ushered away.
As I was being lead out of the back of the building, the front doors swung open, and Chusda burst in. A letter in his hand.
"Zeke! Wait up!" He ran to me, and pressed it into my hand. "Give this a read sometime, you cock."
He handed me the letter, and then turned to leave the building, before shouting behind him. "See you later, man."
The door shut with a resounding thud as the Peacekeeper exited, leaving me alone in the small room. I paced anxiously as I waited for my family to be brought in. I vaguely wondered if they would even be allowed in, but since I had stopped Flux from causing any real trouble, nothing would happen, right?
The door swung open suddenly and Xenon entered. She wouldn’t look at me and hung back slightly by the door, a look of confliction on her face. I reached my hand out for her and was grateful when she stepped forward, clasping my hand in her own.
Her head shot up and she scowled, “This is no time for that fucking shit, Joule!” She snapped angrily, but I could tell under the anger, there was just fear. Fear and sorrow.
“I- I know.” It was all I could say.
She threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly. “You’re- you have to try and make it back here, okay. You have to give it your all.”
I nodded, burying my face into her hair and breathing in the familiar scent. Xenon had always been my rock, through everything, I knew I could count on her. “You’re my best friend, you know that, right? No matter what happens, you’re my best friend, and you’ll always be my best friend, okay?”
Before she could answer, the doors were flung open and a Peacekeeper stepped in, “Time’s up.”
Taking a last deep breath, I stepped back from my friend. “If- if I don’t come back, promise me that you’ll be alright. Promise me that you won’t let this get to you, okay?”
Xenon wiped at her eyes, nodding. “I promise.”
The sound of the door closing made my heart clench and my stomach twist. I fidgeted with the hem of my skirt as I waited, hoping all of my family would come and that my brother’s had listened to me and not picked a fight with any Peacekeepers.
The door opened again and this time I was swarmed by my three large brothers and my parents. After what was not nearly long enough, I felt them all step back, all but Torque, who held on to me tightly. His eye were red and it was clear he had been crying, something that made my stomach twist uncomfortably. In all my life, I had never seen him cry.
“Torque, don’t- please don’t do that.” I mumbled, hugging him tightly. He took a few steps back, wiping at his eyes before nodding solemnly. I knew it was mean, but I wasn’t quite up to comforting him as I walked to my death.
My father was crying too, something that was almost more shocking than seeing my brother cry. His face, normally light with joking playfulness was twisted into an expression of pure anguish.
“You have to do your best, okay? You- you have to try and win, Joule. Please.” Torque's voice was desperate and I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that I had no chance. That I was going to die out there.
Squeezing his hand in my own, I smiled, though I knew it wasn’t very sincere looking. “Like hell I’m just going to roll over and die. I- I can’t promise I’ll come back, but I’ll do my very best.”
The rest of their visit was like a blur to me and all too soon my family was pulled away from me by peacekeepers. “Torque, Pascal, Flux! Don’t fight them! Please don’t fight! Stay safe! I love you!” I yelled as the door was slammed shut once again and I wanted to cry, but I knew that would do nothing to help me.
Leaning against the back wall, I ran my hands over my face, trying to quell my anxiety. Soon enough, the Peacekeeper returned and I walked unseeingly to the train that awaited to carry me to my death.
How could this have happened? When my life had finally found a spot of hope for a future where I could be happy and now I didn’t have a future at all. Well fucking hell.
I didn’t look at my mystery partner as a Peacekeeper ushered me through the Justice Building, finally stopping before a pair of wooden doors.
“Wait inside for your family. You have ten minutes.” He said. I stared at the doors for a moment before finally grabbing the handle and pushing one open. I sat on the long velvet couch, bouncing my knee. I doubted anyone would come visit me. In the back of my mind, I remembered the note S.G. had given. If one of us were chosen they’d come say goodbye, and reveal who they were. But..would they really?
The door handle turned and before I could even stand, a tall, sickly thin blonde woman entered, staring at me with tearful eyes.
“Mom?” I asked, surprised.
“Oh Tessie.” She cried, walking over and wrapping her arms around me. I did not return the embrace. My father was behind her, and peeking out from behind him, was my little brother. “Oh my baby.” She whimpered, cupping my face in her hands and placing kiss after kiss on my cheeks. I stepped back, pushing her away. She gave me a confused look. “Tessa?”
“What the hell are you doing here?” I demanded.
“Watch your mouth young lady.” She said, her eyebrows growing stern.
“No, you don’t get to tell me what to do. You don’t get to tell me anything. Why are you here.” I snapped.
“I am your mother!”
“Bullshit!” I shouted.
“Tessa Louise!” My father shouted.
“You two are something else.” I said, crossing my arms. “You think you can come in here and hug me and kiss me and act like you’re my parents!?” My mother’s face changed. “You abandoned me! You locked me up in a torture chamber. Do you have any idea what they do to me in that place?”
“We were trying to help.” She said innocently.
“Bullshit Teagan. You know damn well you just wanted to get rid of me. You didn’t want to look bad in front of the cameras, isn’t that right, Dad!” I said, looking up at my father who refused to look me in the eye. “You thought that maybe, if I was out of the picture people would just forget about me, huh? Well guess what, they didn’t!” I was shouting, but I didn’t care. I looked back at my mom. “You two, are the reason I’m here. You could have kept me. Don’t act like you’re sad to see me go. You could have had a daughter but you chose to give her away. You couldn’t handle it. Fuck you.” I said, turning away. I could hear the door open and I crossed my arms as tears ran down my face. A pair of small arms wrapped around my waist.
“Goodbye Tessa.” A voice said. I turned around to see Trason. I smiled as I bent down to hug him back.
“Goodbye buddy.” I closed my eyes. He remembered.
He left with my parents and I collapsed on the couch. That was a confrontation I wasn’t expecting to have.
The door clicked open again and I looked up to see Callan standing before me. I stood to embrace him and nuzzled my face into his shoulder.
“Why Tessa?” Was all he said. I took a step back, looking up at him.
“I just- couldn’t imagine being in the place for the rest of my life.” I explained. He nodded. He understood.
“Just- take care of my brother, okay?” He asked quietly. I gave him a confused look.
“Your brother?”
“The other kid who volunteered, Sutter. He’s my brother.” He clarified.
“Oh.” I said, looking down. Why would Callan’s brother volunteer? “I promise. I will.” I said, though I doubted he would need taking care of. He seemed pretty well off on his own. “Thank you for coming Callan.” I said, hugging him one more time.
“Any time Tess. Be safe.” I nodded into him and he left.
I stared at the door, wondering if anyone else would come. Treelore? An old friend from school? Any of the other kids in the Asylum?
Who was I kidding. I was waiting for S.G..
“They could still come you know.” Tatum said from her spot in the corner.
“‘Bout time you showed up.” I grumbled. “I should just get over it, they’re not coming.” I rested my head in my hand and watched the clock as the minutes ticked by. Finally, a Peacekeeper opened the door.
“Time’s up.” I looked over at Tatum who just frowned.
I guess no one cares about crazy little Tessa Hale after all.
The door closed behind me and I looked in the room. There were books on some shelves, chairs, tables, and one big curtain, blocking off the view. The door opened and the goodbyes had started.
The man came in and just said these words. "Kineos, my son died in the Games a couple years ago. I cannot imagine what your parents are thinking right now. I know they will want you back. You're smart, use that but Kineos, you will have to make friends out there or you will die." With this, he got up and left.
The door opened for one last goodbye. It was my father. My father just sat in front of me and just shook his head. "That was an intense move you did out there. People will remember that, I know why you did that." He just looked at me and shook his head. "Kineos, we're scared and I know you are as well. Your mother is crying her eyes out but she knows you will be back." I just looked at him and smirked "I'm glad you understand why I did what I did. Tell mom that I love her so very much. I'm going to come back dad, you know I will." With this he got up and we hugged and then he was gone, gone for a really long time. Goodbyes were over and I was escorted onto the train that always left. Time to get ready for the games.
I wish they had cookies in these waiting rooms. I sunk into the soft, squishy chair that has been provided in the room. The walls were beautiful, the windows were beautiful, everything was fucking beautiful.
The window in my room faced the train station and I could see the lovely, silver bullet of a train idling on the tracks. I wished I could just hop on and race off to the Capitol. I knew my parents weren't coming because they were already at my destination. There wasn't anyone else that would come in and see me.
So I was surprised to see the door creep open to reveal Flint. Da hell was he doing here? "Hey buddy." I say, standing up to meet him.
"Heya Cliff." He stuck his hands in his pockets, unsure of how to continue. "Just thought I would come to say goodbye. You know, even though you'll be back soon."
I smiled and grasped his hand in a shake. There wasn't really anything I could say. I knew why he was really here. He just wanted to make sure he said goodbye just in case something did happen to me. It was nice. He was my best friend and sometimes things like this reminded me why.
"You will have to tell me all about the Capitol girls when you come back. And the parties man. Oh, and tell me which District you think as the hottest girls. I'll only get to see them on television." He rambled on, trying to fill the room with words so he wouldn't have time to say what he felt. I wasn't fond of the whole emotion thing either so I was grateful.
"I will, man, I will."
A knock on the door signaled the end of our conversation. I faced Flint and gave him a bear-hug that I hoped was filled with everything that was left unsaid. He clapped me on the back before pulling away. "I'll be cheering for you, Cliff."
"Thanks, Flint. See you soon."
A peacekeeper walked into the room and escorted Flint out. I waited silently for a few moments before a peacekeeper came to get me. I realized in those few moments that the thing I would miss most the next couple of weeks wouldn't be my home, but my best friend.
