#appa's rambles

[apparentlynotreallyfinnish]

[apparentlynotreallyfinnish]

[apparentlynotreallyfinnish]

I haven't written much in a few years. And definitely not consistently. It's been something I've struggled with a lot. I want to write. I love it and I miss it, but due to life and mental health it just hasn't been happening.

Last year, I was thinking about doing nanowrimo to get myself in gear again. I immediately gave up. It was just too much. I tend to do that whole thing where it's all or nothing. I didn't write enough the first day and couldnt catch up the next and soon, everything was ruined.

This year I wasn't planning on acknowledging November in any special way. But then the lovely people in the FAW discord decided to do wamaucmo (write as much as u can month) instead of nanowrimo and I found myself intrigued.

"As much as you can" doesn't necessarily have to mean a lot. Maybe some days as much as I can is one sentence. That's still more than I've done in months! I decided to try.

Now I've written for three days in a row. Every day of this month (so far) I've opened up Scrivener and managed to put words on a page! It's not many words. And it's definitely not good words (I'm so rusty it hurts). But I am writing. And it feels so fucking good.

[apparentlynotreallyfinnish]

Y'all have no idea how hard I just hugged [redacted].

[apparentlynotreallyfinnish]

My Reading Year 2023

Yes, this is very late, but last year was the first year I kept a spreadsheet tracking my reading and it was always my plan to do a little post about my stats. So, better late than never, right?

(yes, I know this is only interesting to me and possibly one of my friends here)

[apparentlynotreallyfinnish]

I started a new job this week. It's an adult job. Corporate administration for the city government. Occasionally I even have to interact with the mayor. Serious stuff.

So far I have:

-managed to break the bill posting program twice, resulting in error codes no one had seen before

-gotten locked into the courtyard because no one remembered to tell me how to get out after 4pm when the gates close

-infiltrated the secret office club that meets during breaks in a different location with better coffee

-crushed on a guy who took time to offer me a seat

-crushed on a girl with the prettiest hair and a pen that breaks unexpectedly and repeatedly

[apparentlynotreallyfinnish]

When you're vibing with a girl and can't stop chatting for days and you start to think that maybe... Maybe my luck is changing. Maybe there's actually someone in this world that might be a match.

But nah. She turns out to be a terf.

[apparentlynotreallyfinnish]

I haven’t been here much and I miss y’all. I don’t think anyone particularly cares about what I’ve been doing but I love reading mundane stuff like this from my mutuals so here’s an update:

1. I shaved my head. I love it. I look like a badass lesbian (which is like 49% true).

2. I’ve read 90 books this year. 90% of those have been ebooks on my phone. So I finally caved and bought a Kindle Paperwhite. I’ll literally never go back. Reading is so much more comfortable now, omg! (Found a couple new favorite m/m romance authors too!)

3. I went to see The Little Mermaid and the new Spiderverse movie at the cinema. Was surprised how much I loved The Little Mermaid. Was not surprised how much I loved the spiderman movie. (Gwen is the coolest character ever!)

4. Watched The Owl House, Gravity Falls and Amphibia with my kiddo. Obsessed with all of them, especially Owl House.

5. Got back on depression meds and they seem to be helping. I’ve been feeling almost normal for the past few months.

6. Joined dating apps to maybe dip my toe into the dating pool. Did not get a date. Only got frustrated.

7. Joined a kink app and have been talking to some people in hopes of finding a sub to have some online fun with. One candidate read some of my rhink fic and was casual viewer of GMM. I of course gave them a lengthy lecture on Rhett and Link and their incredibly romantic history and soulmate-ness. Their response: “I’m never gonna see the show with same eyes again.” I feel I’ve already achieved more than I could have hoped for in that app.

8. Started writing multiple different novels but crippling anxiety and self-doubt stops me from continuing. Fun times. Should try go back to writing fic, just to be writing something.