#aqualondë

[silmarillion-ways-to-die]

[bellevox]

Where the leaves fall not:  land of my people forever!

[silmarillion-ways-to-die]

The Kinslaying at Aqualondë, a play in one act

Actors enter

Olwë: Oh hello! It's Fëanor, a really nice guy who has never done anything bad. How can I help you?

Fëanor: I want your swan ships.

Olwë: Sorry, we never lend out our swan ships.

Fëanor: Then we'll rent them.

Olwë: We don't do that either.

Fëanor: We'll buy them then.

Olwë: We don't sell our swan ships. Tell you what. We'll teach you to make your own.

Fëanor: I don't want to fucking make my own.

Olwë: [embarrassed silence]

Olwë: You're really good at making stuff. You should make your own ships. But not swans. That's our thing.

Fëanor: [fuming]

Olwë: I mean, you could pick a different bird. How about raven ships? You seem like a raven kind of guy.

Fëanor: I have to find my shiny rocks. Give me the swan ships. I promise not to set them on fire.

Olwë: That's... oddly specific.

Fëanor: Look, I'm sorry, I'm just going to have to kill you.

[stabs Olwë]

Olwë: Well, that escalated quickly.

Fëanor: Now look what you made me do.

Olwë: Strewth! [dies]

Enter Mandos

Mandos: [to Fëanor] You done fucked up.

Fëanor: Shut up. This will work out fine.

Exeunt